Welcome To My Life
by Dead-bY-n0w
Summary: Everyone knows Hillary has a secret. It's been bothering her so much for so long. Will she open up about that psuedo-stalker, or will it be too late? KaiXHil.
1. Sucks To Be Me

Chapter 1: Sucks to be me…

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing."_

I sighed for the umpteenth time, rolling over and burying my head in the pillow. The conversation kept going on and on in my head, no matter how much I tried to block it out.

"_How come you never tell me the truth?"_

"_You won't understand."_

Telling the truth didn't matter to me. Why sound like a whining cry baby when I know no-one will understand what I was going through? When no-one could help me?

"_I'll get you someone who would."_

"_Who?"_

"_Who do you want to talk to?"_

I didn't want him to feel bad, I couldn't help it. I had been feeling very down lately. There was something wrong with me…depression maybe? I wasn't sure.

"_No-one, just get lost."_

And being the awful jerk I was, I said that. And being the very best friend he was, he just left without saying another word. I thought about saying sorry, but then he'd forgive me so easily. It was better to die with guilt than to get an apology accepted. Something I didn't deserve.

I rolled back over and breathed in deeply. The air around me was fresh and moist. It didn't make me feel better, though. I put my feet on the cold, wooden floor and stood up.

It was only midnight, the moon stood up high in the sky, casting its white light upon the land. I made my way towards the gallery, where I was greeted by a few droplets falling on my face. I had always loved the rain, its touch upon my skin, its sound upon the roof and its smell in the morning as it united with the dry mud on the ground felt like the most wonderful blessing in the world to me.

I reached out a hand to feel more of the tiny droplets on my skin and smiled. The effort it took to just turn the corners of my mouth up surprised me. It shouldn't have though. I hadn't been smiling much lately. I forgot how nice it felt.

For just a few minutes then, I forgot all my worries, forgot everything that had coupled up with many other to cause the weeks of sleepless nights. For these few minutes, I was happy.

But not even happiness lasts forever.

I walked down towards the bed and lay down, disappointed that the rain had stopped. Without even bothering to pull the quilts around me properly, I forced my eyes close. It wasn't long before sleep overcame me.

"Hey, Hils." Max said cheerfully, looking up at me with a smile. I sat down next to him muttered a low 'hi'.

He ignored me. He knew it was _that_ time. It wasn't everyday that I'd be sad. But it wasn't everyday that I was happy either. My constant mood swings had been, apparently, worrying everyone. They had noticed it, I had caught them giving me side-way glances and concerned looks but I had chosen to ignore them. I wasn't gonna tell them anything. Aside from the fact that they won't understand, I couldn't tell them. I wasn't the type of person to talk openly about my problems. And what good was it gonna do anyway? I wasn't gonna distract them from their training with my problems.

My problems? Well, there were few, but they were enough to fuss over. I was struggling with school. No matter what I did, it didn't feel like my result was improving. Not that it was bad, but there's always room for improvement, right? It seemed that the door to that room was locked. And if my grades keep going on like this, I will never get into the college of my choice.

I fought with my Mom. It had been happening a lot recently. She was always out on dates with random guys, arriving late at night with a strange look on her face. It's sick, I tell you. I tell her to stop it but she just shrugs me off, saying it wasn't something I would understand. So I would yell and she'd yell back. No-one would apologize but that's just how things were. It is a mother's job to help her daughter with some stuff but half of the time she isn't home. Yeah sure, she pays for the school fee, she'd leave a credit card and a few dollars at home so I could buy whatever I want but parents aren't always for financial support, are they? It worries me sometimes. She'll wake up one day to regret her actions. It was just two days ago that Mom and I had the worst fight. She called me names and said I was being too much controlling and that it was better if I stayed out of her life. I knew she didn't mean it and that she said it cuz she was mad but it hurt. We hadn't talked since then, I wanted to apologize but it felt like she was avoiding me, turning the volume up whenever I passed or pretending to be on the phone. It was bad enough that I was feeling guilty but now I had to stay at Tyson's house because somehow, I got the feeling that it was what she wanted.

The third and the most disturbing of all was the fact that I had a stalker. I flinched inwardly as I thought about Drew. The guy was annoyingly persistent. He'd call, he'd text and he'd even come straight ahead and ask me out whenever I was alone. It was not just annoying, it was abusive. He would threaten to hurt my Mom, somehow knowing exactly where and with whom she was, if I didn't go out on a date with him. Eventually, I would, seeing as how I had no choice. Even after all those nights out, I can't convince him out of stalking me. He was obsessed. I had changed my numbers so many times but he just kept getting his hands on the new ones. I didn't like the way he had control over my life but I was helpless. He said he'll hurt the guys too if I tell anyone or try to call the police. He might have been bluffing but I was afraid to take the risk anyway.

I sighed, wishing I had normal problems like asking my crush out on a date, or some chemistry assignment that I couldn't get.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Kai glance at me. I composed my features before looking up. He WAS looking at me, concerned apparently. I faked a small smile of reassurance and turned away just in time to see Tyson enter the room.

"Hey guys, breakfasts ready."

Everyone got up and made their way towards the kitchen. I waited till they were gone and it was only me and Tyson in the room. He made an attempt to turn around but I stopped him.

"Tyson, I'm sorry about…what happened yesterday." I said, hinting towards the rude comment I had made and attempting to set things right. It was bad enough everything else was going wrong; I didn't want my social life with the guys to be ruined too. "I didn't mean it."

"Sure."

He turned around before I could read his expression and walked away. I sighed again. Man, it sucks to be me.

_Well, what do you guys think? Tell me your P.O.V so I can know whether I should continue or not. Thanks a lot for reading or even just opening the page and scrolling down. I appreciate even that. :) _


	2. Confessions

Chapter 2: Confessions.

It was quiet at the dining table today. No-one said much and I could feel the awkwardness that hung in the air clearly. I picked at my food with my fork and slowly and hesitantly ate it. From the corner of my eye, I saw Max and Ray exchange a long glance before Tyson coughed. I looked up reflexively, not actually wanting to do so.

"What?" I asked, noticing Tyson looking at me, his fork half-way to his mouth. I heard the deliberately slow dragging of a chair on the wooden floor as Ray straightened.

"It's okay."He said, before looking down at his plate. "Apology accepted."

"Oh." Was my great reply. Had someone convinced him to do so or was he just feeling pitiful towards me? I glanced at him one last time before deciding that he might just be feeling guilty or something.

I tensed as the cell in my back pocket began to vibrate. I stood up hurriedly, somehow knowing exactly who it was. The chair made a loud sound as it was dragged along the Dojo floor and every one of my friends turned to look in my direction, concern clear in their eyes.

I took out the cell before turning my back on them, not even replying with a small look of reassurance to convince them I was alright. How very blasé.

Sighing, I put the phone to my ear as soon as I was out of earshot.

"My house, tonight." A voice that was both calm and firm, said.

Could I ever take into consideration the fact that he was just any other boy, just like anyone else? But then when would I ever get over how deadly his voice was to me? How much hatred boiled inside me the moment I heard it? How much just a tiny whisper of his voice could anger me?

"No." I replied rigidly before hanging up. I hurriedly switched off the cell before he started texting and shoved it back in my back pocket before going inside again.

"Do you think it's gonna be okay?"

"I'm positive."

Tyson sighed, handing over his scratched Beyblade to Kenny, who started fixing it almost immediately. I looked over at Kenny's hand to take a look at Dragoon. It was damaged but nothing that Kenny couldn't repair.

I fidgeted nervously with my hands as Tyson came over to sit beside me. He turned to look at me and was about to say something when we heard Max shout from inside.

"WHAT?" Tyson yelled back and I recoiled in reaction to the sound. Gosh, he was loud.

"Tell Hillary that someone's on the phone." Max's voice sounded near now; louder and clearer.

I looked up and saw Max at the window, holding the phone in his hand. I stood up and walked inside, wondering idly who it could be. Maybe Mom, trying to apologize.

When I entered the living room, I saw Kai leaning against the wall beside the door, looking at me expectantly. I ignored him, something I always did.

"Who is it?" I asked Max, my voice sounding small even to me.

"He won't tell me his name." Max replied, holding the phone out to me. _He_, not _her_. Male…Besides the guys, I had no male acquaintances.

Max looked at me concerned when I hesitated. "You don't wanna talk?"

I shook my head blatantly. "Tell him to stop calling here."

Max looked at me disbelievingly, so did Kai, but he did what he was told.

"I'm sorry, who'd you wanted to talk to again?" He asked before smiling, "Oh, I thought you said _Stephanie_! No, there's no Hillary in this house."

He was quiet, listening to the other side before he said, "You might have the wrong number. Try calling the neighbors."

I shifted my weight from one leg to the other as Max hung up and turned around.

"Tell me why I lied, Hillary." He asked, looking at me expectantly, his hand still on the phone.

I said nothing. Surely, he wasn't expecting me to tell him anything, was he?

"I didn't want to talk." I lied plainly, looking away. Max heaved a sigh of defeat and walked out of the room, saying nothing. Gosh, now I felt all the more guilty. Max didn't even bother insisting on telling him, he just knew I would disagree. I guess they were tired of trying, not that I object or anything. It was sort of unusual.

I was aware of Kai staring at me but I ignored him again. I sat down on the couch, resting my hands on my knees and letting my hair hide my face as I bent forwards. Kai would go away soon.

It was quiet and I was sure that Kai would've left by then so it surprised me when his voice suddenly sounded, snapping me out of my trance.

"It's doesn't hurt to tell the truth once in a while." His voice was near…too near. I looked up to see him standing right in front of me, his eyes staring down into mine with some emotion I couldn't point out. "They're concerned."

I was surprised; he never really spoke to me much. What, he was gonna offer some advice now?

I said nothing. I don't know what he took my silence for but he sat down beside me on the couch and looked at me directly.

"Tell me why you won't tell us." Kai said. I could tell he had carefully voiced the question.

"Why should I?" I challenged, afraid of looking in his direction.

"Why should you_ not_?" He snapped back, disarming me. I thought to myself for a while before saying, "You won't understand."

"Do you think I'm a dimwit?"

"No." I replied, but said nothing else. I heard him sigh as he leaned back against the couch.

"What are you afraid of?" He asked. I finally looked up at him. "Nothing you would know of."

"Are you afraid we'll laugh at you?" He tried again, ignoring my comment.

I shook my head and shrugged inanimately.

"What is it then?" His soft tone surprised me. I had never heard that edge in his voice. It was difficult to imagine that he had any what with all the time I heard him say anything was either a strict order or a snappy 'Shut the hell up'.

"N-nothing." I stuttered, still surprised. He sat back upright and looked at me with intensity, his purple eyes squinting. I looked away before saying, "I see no reason to tell anything to anyone, Kai. You can't force me to."

Everything was quiet. I didn't look up to see his expression but I guessed he was probably either irritated or angry.

"I didn't say you _had_ to tell me." He said softly. I looked up in shock. No anger or irritation showed off on his face. He looked sort of offended. "I wanted to know _why_ you won't tell us anything."

"I'm s–"

"Don't lie to yourself." He cut me off, ignoring me completely. "Don't think we can't or won't help you. I don't want you to someday realize that we could've been of assistance and it's too late."

He left me speechless again. I bent my head back down again, looking away from his pleading gaze.

"Tell me you need help."

I breathed loudly, tears threatened to fall and I bit my lips to stop them. He was right. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I DID need help. But not particularly theirs. Not _his_.

"I do." My voice quivered but I controlled it. "But not yours. You guys can't help me."

"You haven't given us a chance to try, Hillary." His voice was still pleading, insisting. Why?

"I just know you can't." I argued stubbornly. Taking in a deep breath, I tried to control myself. I didn't want to be mad at him, but I couldn't help it. Why was he trying to make me tell him my problems so desperately?

"We can't? Or you won't let us?" Kai asked, making my mind linger on the words. How childish. He still thought I was just not gonna tell them because I didn't want to rather than the fact that I didn't need to.

"You can't." I replied softly. Partly because I felt my voice breaking again and partly because I didn't want him to hear the anger in my voice."Now, leave me alone."

Of all the rude comments I had said, I could see this last one affected him the most. I looked up to see his eyes squinted in discomfort and…anger? I guess I wasn't the only one with anger management issues.

"You don't mean that." He said, trying to control his anger. It usually seemed to come to him naturally, controlling his anger, I mean. But this time, I could tell he was struggling.

"I don't wanna be intrigued into telling you what I don't want to." I said calmly. My sentence was followed by a very uncomfy silence as Kai hesitated.

"You think I'm gonna intrigue you?" He asked, after a few seconds of hesitation, not bothering to hide the fact that I had offended him.

"That's not what I meant." I said in defense. "I don't wanna end up saying something I'll regret."

"Is that the answer to my very first question?" He raised his eye brow in skepticism and his voice rose with every word. "The reason as to why you don't wanna tell us anything? You think you'll _regret_ telling us the truth?"

Gosh, why did he turn my words around like that? Tyson's gonna have to stop watching those police serials on TV, people were getting infected around here.

"I'll regret telling anyone the truth." I said, emphasizing the word _anyone_ and ignoring his first two questions. "And I didn't mean to tell you to leave me alone, I meant for you to know that this subject is very uncomfortable for me to talk about."

There. A very formal and literal answer.

"If it's really a bother for you that we wanna help, Hillary, then we'll just let you be."

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at how angry his voice sounded. Although that was exactly what I wanted to hear, it actually hurt. I wondered why. His angry stare burned into me as he waited for a comeback that didn't come. I noticed how his gaze softened and in a voice that sounded strange, he said pleadingly, "Tell me."

Man, I wanted to. Believe me, I SO wanted to. And for a moment, I had opened my mouth to say everything that was bothering me but shut it back again. I wanted him to know what I was going through, I wanted him to know how I was feeling, I wanted him to know that I desperately needed help butI knew I couldn't just come right up and tell him everything. Yeah sure, he was my friend and for once, just once, I wanted to discuss my problems with him just like a normal person but I couldn't. I was feeling depressed. I had problems, but then again, who doesn't? Insecurity and confusion were never my best subjects but I had been facing them a lot lately. If there was any justice in the world, it was only fair that I get a savior. Was it too wrong to wish for someone who'd break through the walls I had built? Someone who would not only understand my problems but would try to solve them too? But I was known for being independent and I wasn't just gonna throw that reputation away. I AM independent, I corrected myself, just messed up right now. Like I had said, I was never someone who would speak openly about her problems. I wasn't good at expressing my feelings. That was the reason why I never really spoke to Kai but we still got along. I guess I understood how it felt to not want to talk about anything and I respected that.

_Yeah, guys I have a stalker who calls and texts regularly to ask me out and threatens to hurt my only parent- whom I love even though she calls me names and I yell at her- if I don't, he's so annoying, help me out._ That was NOT something I was likely to say.

"I can't." I said stiffly, for once telling the truth. "Just, please, drop it."

I tore my gaze from his and got up from my seat…but he grabbed my wrist, spinning me around and pushing me back on the couch again. He was so close that his breath was practically tickling my skin. I didn't look up at him. Instead, I looked down at his torso as he said something, his voice calm and hard.

"Suit yourself."

The sudden, rude reply made me look up at him but I couldn't tell what he was feeling. His amethyst eyes bore into mine with such intensity that I couldn't turn away. I gasped lightly, just loud enough for me to hear, as he inched a little closer.

Then suddenly, as if he had touched something very hot, he stood up and walked away, leaving me staring at his back as he did.

_I hope that wasn't TOO lame. It took a long time to write. Anyway, Thanks for reading! Can anyone tell me how to get Hillary with Kai? Cuz, both of them don't seem to show any interest in each other much. And I don't know where to start. _


	3. The Stalker

Chapter 3: The Stalker

It was peaceful outside in the park. People were laughing, children were playing and a few couples were walking hand in hand, whispering to each other. I was sitting under the large bridge, in the shadows, watching the happy people in front of me. Inside, it was a totally different scene. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream at everyone and although I was never a masochist but I actually wanted to hurt myself.

I put my hands tightly around my knees and rested my head on them. It wasn't long till I started to cry, the wave of fresh tears trickled down my cheeks and I didn't stop them. I bit my lips to keep myself from uttering a sound as another sob shook through me.

Why did I do what I did? He was just trying to help. I could've told him about my Mom, even about my performance in school. Who cares if he couldn't help me with Drew? I could've kept that to myself. Who cares about my stupid reputation? This guilt was killing me inside and I couldn't do anything to stop it. So what if it was against my rules of right and wrong? If it made the guys feel better, I'd do it a thousand times all over again. If a friend of mine needed help, surely I'd want to offer it. Sitting there all alone, I realized that and I couldn't help but think about how I've been behaving with my friends recently. It wasn't as if I was being nice. Don't your friends have the right to know why you've been acting so distant when none of them actually ever said or did anything? If any of the guys started behaving like I did, I'd be worried about them, right? And of course, I'd want to know if there was anything I could do for them. It would bother me if they just shrugged me off, wouldn't it? Personally, I'd yell at them to tell me. Instead, the guys had been so patient with me all through the time. I couldn't imagine how difficult it was for them to just watch me struggle with my life and they couldn't do anything because I had refused every offer, refused to even just tell them what the problem actually was.

Man, I hate myself. I hated myself for making them feel so useless just because I didn't _want _to tell them how I felt. How selfish can you get? And there I was, wrapped around myself, crying and sniffing, thinking about how stupid and egocentric I was for doing what I did instead of going and apologizing.

I forced myself not to think about the conversation Kai and I had but I couldn't. Why did I have to be so rude? I suddenly found myself wishing to tear my head off but as cowardly as I was, I couldn't even bring myself to do that. And so, I sat there crying, waiting for lightening to hit me or a truck to run over me -not that I didn't deserve worse- so, that I could feel somewhat better. But then again, this was also a good punishment.

I bit my lips hardly till I tasted the blood and stood up, wiping the last of my tears. I looked up at the sky and noticed the heavy, black clouds that were making their way towards the city from the west. It would start raining in about an hour or so, I guessed. But this time, I knew even the rain couldn't help me forget anything. Even if it was just for a little while.

No-one noticed me as I passed the highly crowded area to get inside. But then again, why would they? It wasn't as if they had better things to do. The clouds were lingering above the city, looking menacing, as if ready to shower the rain any minute. Everyone was in a hurry to return to their respectable shelters. I could've gone somewhere too but I'd rather not. At least, not for a few more hours.

The slight _ding_ of the bell snapped me out of my reverie as I entered the small restaurant. It wasn't crowded, there were just a few people drinking coffee and the waitresses running here and there. I noticed an empty table at the far end of the room, just near the window and went over to sit there. I watched the people outside from the window as slowly and gradually they left. The rain had just started to fall and I concentrated intently on the slow, rhythmic _drip_ _drop_ of the water as it collided with the window-glass. I didn't want my mind wandering off to scenes I didn't want it to imagine so I looked around the room, trying to distract myself.

The place had gotten a little crowded; almost every seat was occupied now. A waitress came and took my order before leaving me to myself again. I stared blankly at the window, not actually watching anything.

It was hard to be all alone. Silence spoke things I didn't want to hear. Things I'd rather have locked up inside me and never opened again for the rest of my life. Things I forbade myself to think about cuz it hurt so much just to do so.

I looked down at my hands, trying to distract myself from the thoughts that were starting to cloud my mind. I blinked furiously, making an attempt to stop yet another wave of fresh tears that made their way to my eyes. I couldn't help the small gasp that escaped my throat as a sob shook through me.

Not wanting to make a scene, I hurriedly made my way towards the bathroom and that was when, for the first time in many days, that I felt a fear so extreme I thought I would actually go black. I blinked furiously again, trying to see through my tears but the sight didn't change.

I would recognize those eyes anywhere. I'd pick out that face from a million others almost as if it was my own. For that one moment, there was nothing I saw but the fact that Drew was standing a few feet away from me, smiling at me politely. There was nothing I could feel except the intense horror and my heart pounding loudly against my ribs at the expression his hazel brown eyes held. And when he started to make his way towards me, I even forgot that I was in a public place and hurriedly pushed my way through the small crowd gathered in front of the restroom.

I heard a few people groan and grunt as I pushed them away angrily, trying to get to get to the other side of the room but I didn't care. All I could think was, _Drew is here, He's here. Of all the people in the whole world, _Drew_ is here_. I needed to get out. I needed to be away from him before…

It was when I was safely inside the ladies restroom and the door was shut behind me that I allowed myself to breathe a sigh of relief. I leaned against the door, trying to make sense of my situation.

I was in a restroom of some restaurant that was far away from my home or Tyson's, a psycho was just waiting outside the door for me and I doubted that the lines would work in all the heavy clouds in the sky.

This was just perfect.

I paced around in front of the mirrors before taking out my cell. I just realized that I hadn't even switched it on since Drew's last call. I wondered if Tyson or anyone else had called to check up on me. I figured that as rude as I was, they'd probably still be worried about me and that I should just text them to let them know I was fine. But the cell switched off automatically as soon as I saw the message _No Signals_.

I comforted myself with the idea that it would start working soon and that I was safe as long as I was in the ladies room. I leaned against one of the cubicle doors and concentrated solely on regulating my breathing instead of the fact that some deranged maniac was waiting for me outside those very doors.

I closed my eyes and let my mind wonder to random things. Things other than my Mom, my studies, my friends, my stalker or any other part of my life. And why was it that I was always thinking about myself? Here I was, moping around about my problems when somewhere around the world, millions of homeless, uneducated orphans that desperately needed help. I had a home (not that I had been visiting it recently), I was getting education (not that I loved it or anything) and I wasn't an orphan (even though my Mom wasn't very much of a mom) so what was I doing—

A pair of rough hands grabbed my arms violently, pinning me to the door behind. The sudden motion made me gasp and my heart started pounding loudly against my ribs as I opened my eyes to stare into deep hazel ones.

"Drew?" I whispered hoarsely. His face was merely a few inches away from mine and his eyes held the same strange expression as before.

"They should keep guards out there at the entrance." His voice was a sore whisper, close and dangerous, and I jerked back instinctively in response. "Don't you think so?"

I had to admit, I had never been more scared in my life. There I was, trapped in a ladies room with some obsessed stalker, with no-one to call and going,_ Oh my gosh, what's he gonna do?_

"Let's talk." He said, smiling at my expression.

"No." I answered, my voice still a whisper. I was already so scared that when he looked at me angrily, I gasped without even thinking.

He smiled at my terrified expression again and tightened his hold on my wrists till my hands went numb. With an evil sneer at my pained expression, he asked "Why?"

I knew I had to get out. I knew I just couldn't stand there, waiting for him to do something. But I couldn't come up with any idea of an escape.

"Tell me something." He said, not waiting any longer for my reply. "Why do you try to avoid me?"

I didn't reply. He edged a little more closer, pressing me entirely to the door behind. "Why do you even bother, knowing that I'll catch up on you anyway?"

Gosh, I hated him so much that words couldn't describe. I squirmed under his tight grasp on my hands but that only caused more pain…and another triumph smile from him.

"Why," I said, suddenly finding my voice. "do _you_ even bother, when you know the answer anyway?"

He smirked at me and tightened his grip on my hands till I couldn't bear the pain anymore and I started to squirmed furiously again but he didn't let go.

"I want you to talk to me." He whispered, making me all the more angry. I didn't know why but I knew he was trying to piss me off. He knew exactly how much I wanted him NOT to talk to me. I had made it clear every time we had ever met.

"Let go." I warned, squirming against his grasp, trying to break the contact. He didn't listen to me. Instead, he straightened up, his tall body hovering over me, and smiled. "I said, let go, Drew."

"Ah." He said, not talking in whispers now. He closed his eyes before saying, "I just love it when you say my name."

Okay, so that was when I got really angry. I knew it wouldn't hurt him at all but I was just so mad that I kicked him. To my surprise, he grunted and stumbled backwards. His hold on my wrists loosened and I felt the blood rush back to my palms. Taking my only small chance, I ran towards the door, without any glance behind.

"Hey!" He yelled behind me and with a jerk, I felt my back hit his body and turned around to see him grabbing hold of my shirt tightly. I wriggled but in vain. He grabbed my waist while I kept struggling but it didn't seem to have been affecting him at all. He pulled me close and I gasped loudly when his lips touched my neck.

I struggled angrily in his grasp but it was just so tight. Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore, I stopped struggling, letting him do as he wished. I could tell he was caught off guard by my sudden end of my physical response, cuz he pulled a little backwards and stared at me. I took the chance and he yelled in pain as my elbow hit his spine with all the force I could muster in my condition. I smiled in satisfaction before running out the door at full speed.

I pushed through the crowd and ran out of the restaurant and into the heavy rain, along the familiar roads.

"Hey STOP!" I heard him yell. His rising footsteps and his loud yells didn't stop me from running faster than ever before and it wasn't long that I could no longer hear his voice anymore. I didn't look behind me so I didn't know whether Drew was following me or not but I guess, as long as I was away from him, I didn't care much either.

I zoned everything else out, concentrating only on running along the very familiar path towards the Dojo.

_Hey, how was it? I know it was pointless, but I wanted to add a scene between Drew and Hillary, you know? To let you know how their relationship is actually like. And there are hints in this chapter that are important for the story later on. So I guess it wasn't _completely_ pointless, right? Anyway, thanks for reading it, I really appreciate it. Plz drop a review, I don't know how my story is going right now and I think it would be nice of you to tell me. _


	4. The Truth

_Hey everyone! So, this chapter is a little bit longer and there are MAJOR Kai/Hil moments for all the fans out there. By that I DO mean REALLY MAJOR. So, if you guys feel like NOT reading, don't. Again, this chapter is not pointless. It hints towards the major parts of the story. _

_Anyway, Kai's a bit OOC…not COMPLETELY, just a BIT. The chapter is long and there is a LONG Kai/Hil scene. That's the warning for now. Hope you enjoy it…:)_

Chapter 4: The Truth.

I ran along the familiar pathway towards my home, passing the shops and pushing and squeezing through the crowd. The rain hit my body like millions of piercing needle stings, wetting my clothes and my hair as it did. It wasn't long that I could feel the cold water enter my sneakers as I stepped on the big puddles while running.

When I reached the dojo, I was completely soaked from head to toe. Not a single hair on my body was dry but I could've cared less. It wasn't as if I'd expected myself to come here all dry.

Tyson was standing on the porch, whispering something to Kai when I entered. He took in my appearance before turning back towards Kai who was suddenly looking at me, right in the eye. I wondered if they were talking about me, cuz both of them were quiet now. I ignored them and looked behind me before continuing to walk.

"Hillary, where were you?" Tyson said once I reached the porch. He threw a dry towel, which hung over his shoulder, at me and I caught it rather reflexively. "I was worried."

"Sorry about that." I replied unenthusiastically, shrugging. I sat down beside Kai—who sat leaning against one of the pillars—and took off my sneaker. "I tried to call but there were no signals."

I took out my cell and placed it beside me. It was too, like most of my things right now, soaked to the last cell. I saw Kai looking at me but I said nothing. I looked up at the sky and after realizing that the rain wasn't gonna stop anytime soon, I couldn't help but feel relieved. Maybe I'll get to enjoy it in the night if not now.

"Hils?" I heard Max's voice and turned around to see him poking his head out the window and smiling at me. "Man, where were you?"

"In the park." It wasn't a lie.

Max, now turned entirely towards me through the window, took a glance at me before saying, "You should've come back when the rain started."

"Why?" I asked genuinely, trying not to sound too curious. Max didn't answer. I saw him looking back at me nervously, as if afraid to answer my question. Knowing that I'd better not make him answer something he didn't want to, I said, "I like the rain. I didn't want to come back."

Without waiting to see his expression, I turned my back towards him and took off my other sneaker. I turned it over and a few drops of water dripped on the already-wet ground, making dark spots where they fell.

"Well," came Tyson's voice. "I hope you're happy now."

He pointed towards my clothes—my sweatshirt hung loosely against my body but my jeans were practically clinging to my legs—and continued, "Go get changed before you catch a cold, okay?"

I looked away from him, down at my feet again, after nodding slightly. I laid my sneakers against the wooden floor and started to dry myself with the towel. It would've been better to take a shower first but, surprisingly, as cold as I was feeling, I didn't want that. I wanted to stay here, in the wettest clothes, and enjoy the rain for a while before taking a nice, hot bath. So, I did what I wanted to do, pretending to be drying myself but trying to enjoy the rain instead.

I closed my eyes and let my mind drift. My cold feet touched the colder, muddy ground and the sensation of the simple touch was just so wonderful that I wanted to stay like that forever. I supported my weight on my palms and faced the sky, eyes still closed, and listened to the mesmerizing sound of the rain as it hit random things…the marble roof, the wooden floor, the wet ground, the hard pavement, the small fish pond in the Dojo, the rich green leaves on the old trees, my wet jeans and everything else around me. It was so amazing to hear that. I found it hard to believe that just a few hours ago, I had thought that all of this stuff couldn't help me forget my problems. That the rain couldn't distract me.

I smiled slightly to myself as the rain drops hit my face. I didn't flinch at the force with which they did so. I kinda liked it, the cold pressing against my skin. I could never understand why rain was considered to be a symbol of disaster. It was such a wonderful thing, people were just so lucky to witness it at its full potential like I was.

I realized that when the rain would stop, I'd probably be all miserable again. Why not make this happiness last for a little more time? Even if I did catch a cold, I doubt I'd regret it.

So, I sat there, enjoying the rain. Everyone was outside now, enjoying the rain too while it lasted. Max and Tyson had an eating contest while I just drank some coffee Grandpa had made for us. It was very comfy out here. It almost felt like the old times, except, I couldn't shake off the fact that it felt as if Kai was keeping an eye on me for some unknown reason. I'd caught him looking in my direction a few times and I couldn't help but wonder why. Did it have something to do with the conversation we had this morning? Or was it something else that had happened when I was gone?

"Aren't you gonna change into some dry clothes?"

I looked up to see Kai looking at me again. But, at least, this time he had a reason to do so. I positioned myself so that I myself was facing him now instead of my back.

"I will." I said softly, not wanting to ruin the wonderful moment by giving him any impression of the awkwardness between us.

"You'll catch a cold if you stay in those wet clothes any longer."

I could tell he was just concerned, his eyes showed it. I decided I'd better do what he told me to, instead of ruining our relationship all the more. So I got up, grabbed the towel and walked up to my room.

The hot water, after spending quite a few hours in the cold weather, felt oddly relaxing and I took my time washing my hair and body thoroughly before changing into dry and warm clothes. I was just hanging my wet clothes when I heard a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" The door opened slightly and Kai's head poked inside.

"Yeah, sure." I replied, unable to hide my surprise. He smiled casually at me before entering and shutting the door behind him. I was just about to ask him what he was doing here – in a polite way, of course—when he walked over and held out something to me.

"Thanks." I said, taking my cell from him, noticing that it was already switched on. I knew I hadn't switched it on…

"Hey, did you—"

"Tell me something."

Both of us said at the same time and I smiled.

"Tell you what?" I offered, trying to be polite.

"Let's sit down." He said, pretending that I hadn't wanted to say something. He walked towards the bed and sat down at the edge and I followed suit. I looked at him to see that his expression had gone soft. Somehow, I knew exactly what he was going to ask before he did.

He hesitated, studying my face before finally saying, "Is there something wrong at home?"

I was surprised. Not because after all the declination that had happened earlier today, he still wanted to have that conversation with me but because….well, _how _had he gotten so close?

"No." I lied instantly, almost defensively, but I started to feel guilty then. Hadn't I promised myself that I would tell the guys the truth?

"Then answer this." He looked at me slightly angrily and I regretted lying to him all the more. "Why didn't you go to your house instead of coming here, considering it's closer to the park than the Dojo is?"

There was silence for a while and I could tell that my expression gave away everything that he wanted to know. I looked down at my hands in shame. How did I get myself into these messes?

"Unless," He said, still staring at me, "you were somewhere else, of course."

My head snapped up at the accusation. Not that it wasn't true, but _how_ did he know that? Had he seen me there? Had he seen Drew with me? Was that what he was talking about with Tyson a while ago?

"How'd you know where I was?" I asked, afraid to know the answer. He was quite for a while as he studied the look on my face.

"I didn't." He said, smiling triumphantly now. "You just told me."

Oh, GOSH! Very clever, Hiwatari.

"Now you can say I intrigued you." He said, smiling at my shocked expression again.

"Look, Kai." I started, feeling something hitch in my throat again. _Please, don't cry_, I begged myself, _Not now. Not in front of him._

"No, _you_ look." He said, looking serious again. "So what if you told me the truth? What then?"

I was quiet again, thinking about his question. It would hurt no-one to tell the truth, would it? I remembered feeling guilty like I had been feeling in the morning. I remembered wanting to hit myself for hurting the guys feelings. I didn't want to feel that bad again. Maybe, if I told him, he'd forgive me for what happened earlier today.

I guess he took what he saw in my expression as a positive answer, for he continued.

"Tell me honestly." He started. "Are you having some problems at home? Is that why you're distracted?"

_Be honest,_ I reminded myself. _You'll regret not telling the truth later._ So, I forced myself to do just that.

"Yeah." I said through gritted teeth. "That's it."

He nodded understandingly before turning to stare out my open window. It was quiet for a while as I stared at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. His face was emotionless as he looked out at the rain falling down through the window. I couldn't quite guess where his mind was at in particular. He looked so absorbed in the rain, yet so deep in thought about something else. So, I gave up and looked away at my feet.

A few more seconds passed by, the silence didn't bother me. It wasn't uncomfortable. I had told him the truth, hadn't I? He didn't look like he was about to ask me about anything of that particular subject any soon. It wasn't hard talking actually. I wondered why I dreaded it. But then again, Kai hadn't even asked me anything, not yet. He hadn't asked exactly _what_ the problem was. I realized that that was what I was afraid of sharing; the fact that Mom was acting like a whore and wouldn't listen to me when I told her to stop it. That _was_ gonna be difficult to explain.

"So…"

Kai's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up at him. He had his face turned towards me and that was when I realized that it was the first time ever that Kai and I were this close physically. For the first time, I actually noticed him carefully, face to face. How had I missed that his skin was so pale and marble-like? How could I have missed those perfect features he held? For a second, I actually wanted to reach out and touch him. Just to see how his skin felt against mine. Just to feel the softness of it. Was it as hot as mine was now? Or was it cold, considering he had just came inside from the rain?

His two-toned mane was just so unusual, so unique. And then there were his eyes, his big amethyst eyes that looked so gorgeous against his pale skin. I felt like I could go deeper and deeper into them and would never want to stop.

He absentmindedly shifted in his place, making me come back to reality in reaction to the sudden motion. Thank God, he took no notice of me staring at him like that. But, then again, he had been doing so, too, a while ago.

"You seem to love the rain." He stated. It felt more of a statement rather than a question and I smiled. I was relieved, cuz for one moment I thought he might get back to the original subject…

"I do." I said and he smiled in response. When he did so, a small dimple—that I had never noticed before—appeared on his cheek, just above his jaw. He looked nice when he smiled. I wondered why he didn't do it more often.

"Is that why you came late?" He asked, looking curious but his expression was an amused one. "You wanted to take a bath out in the streets?"

I laughed at the statement. It seemed odd to me that _the_ Kai Hiwatari would crack a joke. I mean, he was usually so serious and grumpy.

"Yeah." I said, when I stopped laughing, and looked up at him. He was smiling at me, his eye brow raised in question, almost as if to ask, '_What are you laughing at?'_. "I wanted to enjoy the weather."

He looked away, not noticing how clearly I had lied. I didn't want him to know that I had a maniac following me around and that was why I came so late, all drenched in rain water. I didn't wanna start a fight over it with him again.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked, turning around to look at me.

"About what?"

"Your family problems?"

Okay, what next?

"Do you wanna know?" I asked back. Part of me wanted to avoid that conversation, but part of me kept screaming the same thing over and over again. _You promised yourself you won't hurt their feelings again._

Kai looked as if he was in deep thought. Then all of a sudden, he said, "Not if you don't want to tell."

"I wanna tell you the truth." I said, without hesitation. He looked surprised at first at my statement—I guess I could tell why. Only a few hours ago, I had refused bluntly to tell him anything at all and now, I said I wanted him to know the truth—and he studied my face for a while before giving a small smile of appreciation.

"That's new." He joked, making me smile again. "Okay, tell me, then."

I hesitated. How to word this?

"Maybe I can help?" He suggested, apparently taking my silence as sudden change in decision.

"It's about Mom." I started and he nodded understandingly in response.

"I heard your parents divorced a few years ago." He said. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay, really." I said, not wanting to think of the sad memories. "It's just that I'm worried about her."

Kai looked at me, waiting for me to continue. I took a deep breath and looked away from his gaze, trying to think of ways to word my Mom's situation.

"She's dating." I said simply, then stayed quiet for some time. But, apparently, Kai didn't like waiting cuz he continued for me.

"You don't want her to see anyone?"

"It's not that." I shook my head, turning back towards him.

"You don't like the guy?" He guessed again.

"I wish I could say that." I replied. "But there isn't just a particular guy."

"Oh." He said, finally catching on. There was silence again as I let him contemplate on the situation. Then, his forehead creased in confusion and he asked, "I don't get it. Why are you worried?"

"She comes home after midnight." I explained, looking at him disbelievingly. Wasn't it a worrying situation? "And everyday it's with some other guy. You'd think she's a grown woman with a teenage daughter and all and that she'd be a little more mature and act like a grown up, you know, and stick to this one particular guy but it's like she doesn't even _care_ who she dates as long as she does. You should see her face when she comes home. It's so repulsive just to watch."

Man, that felt nice. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to backstab at my Mom and stuff but it felt _so_ nice to let things out for once.

"Thanks for the explanation." Kai replied simply, smiling at me as if he couldn't believe what he had heard. Well, I hadn't spoken for so long for quite a while, hadn't I? "I understand what your problem is now."

"And you still think you can help?" I challenged.

"Maybe." He replied. "Maybe not."

I smiled politely at him before standing up and taking out a pair of shoes from the closet. The wooden floor was so cold that I thought my feet would go numb any second. Kai looked out the window again as I put on my shoes. This time, I watched him from behind and didn't look away. He looked just as amazing from here as he was up-close. His beautiful eyes against his pale, smooth skin, the way he was smiling –I could see the small dimple on his skin from where I was standing—and the way his eyes turned a little upwards when he did…it was as if I was seeing a whole new person. It was just so interesting to watch that I found myself unable to look away.

"Hey?" He turned around to look at me.

"Yeah?"

He stood up and walked over towards me. He held out his hand, as if waiting for me to give him something. I stared at his palm, then looked up at him.

"What?"

"Let me see your hand."

I was confused. Why'd he want to see my hands? He raised his eye brow in question again and gestured towards his out-stretched hand.

"Why?" I asked, sounding defensive. I didn't get it. First, he was smiling and acting nice and _talking_ and stuff, then suddenly, he was asking whether he could take a look at my hands? But then again, I had wanted to touch him a while ago, hadn't I?

Getting annoyed at my lack of response, Kai grabbed hold of my fingers—almost too carefully—and pulled my sleeve upwards. I had thought that, with all the work out the guys did, his hands would be rough and hard but they weren't. They were rather smooth…but hard at the same time.

"What's that?" He asked, pointing towards the purple marks embedded upon my skin. I looked down at them blankly, feeling confused. What _was_ that?

"I don't know." I replied honestly. Kai looked at me before turning towards my wrist and slowly, he touched the bruises with his other hand. Instinctively, I flinched at the touch and he pulled his hand back, apologizing.

"Fingers." He said, looking up at me and I suddenly realized what they were. I made an attempt to pull my hand out of his grasp but it was as if he saw what was coming and had tightened his grip on my fingers before I could even do so. "Remember now?"

I was suddenly breathing hard, tears were starting to form. Just when I thought that, for once, things were going well, they'd come to the point I had dreaded the most. I didn't want anyone to know about Drew. I knew he would eventually leave me alone—no matter how long it took—and why tell the guys when there was a risk? I couldn't take a risk when my only family and friends were involved, could I?

"Hillary?" Kai asked, looking up at me when I looked down. "What happened?"

I didn't answer, afraid that my voice would break if I did. Suddenly, the image of Drew smiling at me flashed in my mind and I shuddered.

"Kai…" I whispered slowly, looking up at him with watery eyes. I blinked back the tears and bit my lips, trying to see clearly. Kai's hold on my hand loosened as he looked down at me with confusion clear on his perfect features. I swallowed loudly and tried to look away from his eyes. I was afraid he might read the growing fear in them as clearly as I could read his growing anger right now. Wait…why was he angry?

"What happened?" Contrary to what I was seeing in his eyes, his voice was soft and controlled.

"Nothing." I said stupidly but refused to show any emotion. He didn't buy it but he said nothing.

I waited as he looked at me for a while, making no motion. Then, slowly he looked down and let go of my hand completely. I rolled down my sleeve and looked away, hoping I hadn't offended him. I stared at a random spot on the floor, pretending to find it very interesting. He edged a little closer but I didn't react. I stared at the same spot, as he took another step towards me. He was so close now that all could see was him. I could even smell his sweet scent –lilac?—and hear every breath he took. I looked up, realizing only just now that even though he wasn't much taller than I was—five foot eleven? Or maybe six? I was five nine or something—and he stood hovering over me. I wasn't sure what he was searching my eyes for, but he was doing it; looking right into my eyes with a questioning look.

Kai raised his hand to grab my other one. Before I could react, he had already pulled up my sleeve to reveal the same purple marks highlighting my skin as there were on the other.

"Who did this?" He asked firmly, all signs of softness gone from his voice.

"Kai…" I started again but he cut me off.

"Don't you dare lie, Hillary."

And so, I was mad. And not being able to control my anger was one of my distinctive qualities.

"I can do whatever I want, Kai." I said, rather furiously, all the tears now gone. "I told you the truth once, you can't expect me to do it again."

I was expecting an angrier response, a bitter comeback at the very least, but the softness of his tone took me by surprise.

"I thought you wanted me to know the truth." He said, looking offended at my sudden outburst and I began to feel guilty. Maybe that's exactly what he had been intending to do. "I wasn't forcing you to do anything."

I sighed, trying to calm myself down. Kai looked at me, patiently, waiting for me to say something. I didn't.

"Are you gonna tell or not?"

"No." I replied firmly. "Now let go."

He stared at me for a while, searching my face again. I was still mad, but my eyes were still wet from the tears. He continued staring at me and till finally, I couldn't take anymore.

"Stop doing that!" I exclaimed, looking at him angrily again, but avoiding his eyes.

"Doing what?" I could practically_ hear_ the smile in his voice. How rude.

"Staring at me."

"Hmm." The short reply made me look back at him. His lips were still turned up into a cocky smile. "Sorry."

"You don't look so sorry."

"It's true."

"Why do you do that anyway?"

He took a small step towards me—I would've barely noticed if I hadn't already been so close—and smirked cockily.

"No reason."

"You were staring at me a while ago." I pointed, taking an involuntary step backwards at the proximity. "When we were outside."

"No reason." He repeated with a smirk. I noticed he still hadn't let go of my wrist like I had told him.

"Are you trying to be annoying?"

"I don't know." He said, pretending to be confused. "Do _you_ try to be annoying when you say that?"

_Now_ I knew what was going on. Whatever, then. It wasn't as if I wanted _not_ to tell him. I just couldn't. So there was no reason to feel guilty.

"Whatever, Kai." I said, letting him know that I couldn't care less. "Now let go."

He looked a bit annoyed at my reply, leaving me feeling smug, but he did what I told him to. Slowly –with a concerned glance in my direction—he let go of my bruised wrist and I instantly picked at my sleeve, trying to cover my bruises. They didn't hurt, that was probably why I didn't notice them. Kai must've seen them when we were sitting side by side on the porch. That would explain why he was staring at me. To know whether something had happened while I was 'out for a walk', something to be concerned about. If it was, I probably would've been scared or distracted. Maybe that was what he was searching for on my expression; fear or agitation.

"I gotta go." He said suddenly, turning around.

"Wait!" I called, making him turn back towards me. I wasn't sure why I called but I recognized the strange feeling I felt when he turned around; disappointment. I was _disappointed_ that he was leaving. I wanted to talk to him. It was the first time he had ever shown any emotion towards me. It felt like he was leaving all too soon and I wanted to spend more time with him. Why was that?

"Where are you going?" I asked stupidly, and he stared at me blankly, making me feel all the more stupid.

"Out." He replied simply, but his expression was an amused one.

"Sorry." I apologized and he looked at me with all the more amusement. "Go ahead."

So with one, last glance at me –and a small nod…of goodbye?—he turned around and walked towards the door. I stared at his back till he turned the corner, leaving me to my thoughts again.

_So, how was it? I know it was corny and all but I kinda enjoyed writing it. Anyway, feel free to drop a review. I REALLY wanna know how my story is going. Thanks for reading, you guys! Plz review._


	5. Falling Hard

Chapter 5: Falling Hard….

So I lay, staring at the ceiling, deep in thought. It was practically midnight and I could barely sleep. I felt no exhaustion whatsoever. In fact, I felt as fresh as a cucumber in the middle of the spring, right after the rain. So, I was looking at the barely-visible ceiling, listening to the rain and thinking about, for once, only one thing in particular. And for once, it wasn't one of my bothering, ever-growing problems. It was something pleasant to think of. Or rather it was _some-one_.

Kai…Did I really like him? I mean, like-like him? It couldn't be. I was _way_ past my hormonal issues around him. It had been hard to resist him, I mean, you have to admit, he's not just some guy. But then, after the two years we had spent, I realized that I could never have a chance with him. He just wasn't interested in girls. And so I had let go.

But could I be falling for him…_again_?

What makes it more confusing was his attitude towards me now-a-days. I wasn't just _some_ girl either. I was probably the closest—and the _only—_girl that he's talked to or has actually seen. I had stopped feeling for him in just a few weeks after we had met, realizing the cold, bitter truth. But could he have feeling for me? Was it possible?

I sighed, embarrassed at the thought. Why could he be feeling for me? Just because he was concerned for me and he wanted me to tell him my problems so he could help me, or at the very least, make me feel somewhat better, didn't meant he had feelings for me. I mean, it could be a mere act of friendship. The others wanted that for me too, that didn't mean they liked me more than a friend.

And I know Kai has never been very much of the brotherly, I-can-offer-a-shoulder-for-you-to-cry-on type but he was still my friend. And maybe, he felt that he wasn't being much of a friend so he offered help.

Yeah, that makes sense…for him to offer help only because he felt like he wasn't giving me enough. _Not_ because he had feelings for me.

I rolled over on my stomach and shut my eyes tightly, trying to force myself to sleep. I felt oddly relaxed, almost relieved. As if something bad that I knew was gonna happen no longer could. But even then, I couldn't sleep soundly. Why was it that there was _always_ something wrong with me? When I was depressed, I was depressed. When I wasn't, I couldn't sleep. When a person can't sleep, it affects their mental, as well as physical health. The last thing I wanted was some unwanted physical problems or brain damage. See? One problem or another.

I rolled over again and decided to go get myself some warm milk. That might help me sleep. So I switch on the hallway lights and walked downstairs, taking slow and deliberate steps so as not to wake the guys up. When I walked pass the living room, however, I realized that there was no need for me to do so. The guys were dead asleep. Max was all over his futon, hands and legs lying in random direction, as far from the body as possible. Tyson was drooling, murmuring unintelligible things. Ray was snoring slightly and Kenny was rolled over, his head hidden in the pillow. I heard soft, muffled murmurs from his direction as well. There was also a sleeping bag at the farthest corner of the room, just next to the window. I figured it was Kai's. Who else could it be? But Kai wasn't there. So typical of him.

I shrugged, making my way towards the kitchen, less carefully this time. I took out the carton of milk from the fridge, surprised that most of the food was still inside it. Hadn't Tyson come down for his midnight snack yet?

"What're you doing?"

I gasped loudly, startled at the sudden voice. The carton of milk dropped from my hand and fell onto the floor, splattering my clothes with milk.

"You goof, be careful!" The light—which I hadn't bothered to switch on as the room was clear enough in the moonlight—switched on and there stood Kai, a mock look on his face. I ignored him and bent down to pick the carton up. I grabbed a dish towel and cleaned the milk off my shirt before getting down on my knees to clean it off the floor too.

Kai walked over and leaned against the counter across me.

"Yeah, just stand there and watch me clean the milk off the floor." I said sarcastically, looking up at him with fake anger. "Why help a poor little ass like me? You're the great Kai Hiwatari, right?"

I heard him chuckle at first but he bent down on his knees, with a dish towel, and helped me clean the mess. That was really something to watch. Kai on his knees, cleaning the milk off the floor…

"You know what?" I said somewhere in between. I scrubbed roughly at a spot on my jeans before looking up at him. I noticed that his skin looked extra nice, soft and pale, this close. "My jeans are ruined and it's your entire fault."

"Whatever." He said, shrugging inanimately. "I don't care. I'm the great Kai, remember?"

I smiled at the joke before continuing to scrub at the floor again. When the floor was done, I put the dish towel aside and went to sit on one of dining table chairs. Kai followed suit and sat down just next to me.

I stared out the open window, at the dim light the moon cast over the land and smiled to myself. I could feel Kai's gaze on me again, but I said nothing.

"Can't sleep?" I asked, turning around to look at his face.

"No." He replied simply, leaning against the chair. "What about you? Why are you here?"

Was it just me, or did he sounded kinda hopeful? Almost as if I _should _be here, but not for the reason I actually was here for.

"I came to get some warm milk." I said warily. "I couldn't sleep either."

"Oh."

And now he looked disappointed. He huffed before closing his eyes and crossing his arms across his chest. I could see he was deep in thought…confused maybe? Was there something I should know?

"I want you to do something, Hillary." Kai said suddenly, opening his eyes to look at me. Confused, I waited for him to say something. He wanted _me_ to do something for him? Why?

"Would you do it?" He looked at me hopefully and I blinked back.

"It depends." I said slowly and suspiciously. "What is it?"

"I know you don't want to do this," he said. "but could you try and give her a chance?"

I stared at him, blinking in disbelieve. The silence got uncomfortable and I could see it in his eyes that he thought he had made a wrong move, that he had said the very wrong thing.

"Give her a chance?" I repeated and he nodded. "Kai, this isn't about giving chances. Don't you get it?"

He looked at me with confusion clear on his face, waiting for me to explain.

"She doesn't want me in her life." I said plainly. "She'd rather I stay out."

"She couldn't have meant that." Kai argued.

"Maybe not." I agreed, knowing that it was true. "But I'm sick of acting like I don't care who she dates and then pretending that I'm fine by my own all alone. Kai, I'm not even old enough for a license! I need her every time she's away. Other than that, I miss her. I worry about her every time she's out on one of her dates. She doesn't even answer her cell when I call to ask if everything's okay when she's a little late."

He was silent, contemplating on the words I had said. There was so much I wanted to say, so many words but I bit my lips to stop them.

"It isn't up to me." I said softly, wanting to end the conversation. "It doesn't matter how many chances I give her –and I'd give her every chance I can—it's up to her to decide of our relationship. I don't want her to pretend to put up with me when she'd rather not. I _want_ to spend time with her. I _want_ to have her as a Mom. _She's_ the one who doesn't want _me_."

Silence again. I guess he didn't know what to say to that.

"She'd rather date random weirdoes." I ended, unable to hide the remorse in my voice. He sighed and I looked away from his hopeless gaze.

"What do you want her to do?" I heard him ask and I hesitated, staring at me hands.

"It doesn't matter." I whispered and then heard him sigh again.

"Ten years later," he said, "when you have a job and you're happily married and you have kids and stuff, you'll look back and think about what could have been if you'd have had a stable relationship with your Mom."

I chuckled, looking up at him.

"You make this sound like a disease." I joked, trying to steer away the route of the conversation. He smiled…but it wasn't an amused one, rather a sarcastic one.

"Nice try." He said and I realized he had understood what I was thinking. "But I'm not gonna get distracted easily."

"I'm not gonna have kids." I tried again but I didn't fool him.

"Why don't you tell her how you feel?"

"I'm not gonna get married either." I made another attempt to change the subject. I knew it wouldn't work but I still tried. To my surprise, Kai leaned back in surprise at my statement and looked at me with confusion clear on his features.

"What?" He asked incredulously and a wave of relief washed over me as I realized I had succeeded in changing the subject. "What did you say?"

"I'm not gonna get married either." I repeated stupidly. "Why? Want me to leave so badly?"

"You want to stay single all your life?"

"Oh, like _you_ don't."

"Do you?"

"No." I replied simply. "But if I did, I wouldn't mind."

He was just about to say something when I cut him off.

"Why, are you interested?" I joked but I guess he took it seriously cuz he glared angrily at me and I pursed my lips tightly together to keep myself from uttering another word.

"I've told her how I feel." I said, not actually wanting to talk about the original subject but wanting the uncomfortable aura radiating from Kai to go away. "She told me to 'piss off'."

Even I could hear the quotation marks as I spoke the sentence.

"Is there anything I can do?" Kai offered but I just shook my head. What was there that he could do? For a few seconds, all I could see in his eyes was remorse. He was feeling sorry for me? Kai was actually _feeling_ something for someone?

Before I could say anything, however, he leaned back against the chair and closed his eyes. For a while, I stared at him, millions of unanswered questions clouding my mind. Could I actually have fallen for him again? Let's pretend for a few moments I had.

Did he feel the same way? Why could he? But then, why not? And what if he _did_ feel the same way? He wouldn't actually say anything, would he?

I actually couldn't decide whether he would. I mean, he could if he wanted it to but it went against his reputation to talk about his feelings. But then again, he'd always been so unpredictable…

There were chances he might actually feel the same way as I did –_if_ I did—but there were chances that he wouldn't. There were chances he might say something to me about it, but there were chances that he wouldn't. Gosh, he was so unpredictable…

I stared as his eyebrows furrowed together and his forehead creased. He parted his lips as if to say something, but took a deep breath instead and straightened his expression into a calm one. I didn't know what was it about his expression but, man, it was…hot?

I had never used that word before in my thought, except for certain celebrities, but I couldn't help it. It actually seemed as if I was sitting here with one of those hot guys on TV again. People that actually existed but you were lucky enough to get close to actually see them at a personal level. And here I was, sitting with someone probably hotter than them.

I blushed at the thought, remembering my earlier thought. _Could I have feelings for him?_ Definitely, yes.

I looked away immediately in response to the thought, wanting to hide the blush that tainted my cheeks now. Just in case he opened his eyes to say something. He did that a lot…and all of a sudden too.

"Don't you wanna sleep?" He asked suddenly and I looked up in response. See what I meant?

"Yeah." I muttered nervously, getting up. Oh, really mature of me to get nervous at his gaze. "Good night."

He nodded once before I turned around, feeling stupid. I waved in his direction, not actually seeing his reaction, before turning around the corner and walking upstairs.

And so that's when I realized that I had fallen in love with an ice-berg…while I had a stalker, a-not-so-bad-but-still-bad-to-me grade and an upset Mom at home who'd rather I not come back home. Life's so sweet…

_Gosh, I'm SOO sorry that this story seems so dragged. I wanted to add a scene where Hillary realizes her feelings for Kai. Once again, this wasn't pointless. It will help me later on with the story. This is gonna be a long one…I think. _

_Don't hesitate in reviewing and telling me what you think. What do you think this story needs? More anti-Kai/Hil scenes? More humor? Less seriousness? Whatever it is, feel free to tell me._


	6. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

_I'll just get this over with quickly. How come people don't review? And the people who do, say stuff like how they want me continue the story soon. Why don't you guys tell me what I ask for? Not to be rude or something, but no-one told me how my story was when I asked. No-one gave me ideas about how to get Kai and Hillary to like each other like I asked. No-one told me when I asked if the story needed humor or anti-Kai/Hill scenes. If it's bad, tell me and I won't bother to waste my time writing more. Just, for once, take your time out and tell me how the story is instead if insisting that I update soon. It's easier to update soon when I know how the story is going. _

_Reviews are the thoughts the readers have, right? Their opinion about the story? I'm not angry, just irritated. I mean, if you guys waste hours writing a story and all you get back in response are random threats of updating soon instead of honest opinions about your writing and the story, you'd be irritated too, wouldn't you? It's not much to ask for opinions, is it?_

_So please review to tell me what you thought about it or to tell me if the story needs something so that I can write easily. I hope that next time I get some actual reviews. _

_Thanks…_


	7. Preoccupations and Unwanted People

Chapter 6: Preoccupations and Unwanted People.

In my dream, I was sitting in the lush green garden of my backyard. The birds were chirping, the sun was half hidden in the clouds and the wind was blowing against me. I knew it was a dream but I couldn't help but feel intoxicated by the cool breeze. I closed my eyes, leaning against the tall tree, and faced the sky. The cold wind blew back my hair, brushing them from my face and tangling them. The dewy ground felt nice as I pressed my palms against it.

Inside, surprisingly, I felt _happy_. I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Relief had never overpowered as much ever before, proving that I was dreaming. That wouldn't happen in real life. Happiness and relief would come to me, I knew that. But not now, not when everything felt as if it was falling apart. Not when it felt as if it was getting worse every day. Not when my hopes were crashing down. I didn't even know which way to go to even _search_ for my answers, let alone be sure of where to find them. I couldn't even get to a place to escape from my problems, at the very least. There was no sign to lead me to home if not to find solutions.

And so I woke up, partly because I was beginning to feel ugly but mostly because there was loud banging on the door.

"Hillary!" Tyson yelled from the other side of the door. I flinched at the sudden sound but didn't respond verbally to it. Maybe if I didn't, he'd go away.

The banging started again and I grabbed the other pillow and put it on my head, trying to make the sound less annoying. For a while, it worked but then the banging got louder, much more urgent. Was there somewhere I had to go to?

The door opened, crashing against the wall with another loud sound as Tyson entered. I didn't open my eyes or made any motion at all in response. I heard him as he walked over to stand over me. He put his hands on the bed, sitting down…probably to yell at me. I was just too lazy to respond physically right now so I ignored him. Bad move.

"HILLARY! WAKE UP!" Tyson yelled loudly again. Gosh, headache first thing in the morning. Nice.

"Go away!" I finally yelled back in anger, rolling over so that my back was towards him.

He sighed and it was quiet for a while. It seemed as if he had left. The thought relaxed me instantly and I started to drift back to sleep.

It wasn't a pleasant dream. I could feel or see nothing but the pitch-black dark. Feeling helpless, I staggered around, looking for something I didn't know of. I found nothing.

And then it happened. One second, it was the blackness that hovered around, stretching on like the never ending sky; above and below. The next, there was an excruciating pain running through my body. It was as if countless of needles were piercing through each part of my body, each cell. I made no sound as the coldness dragged me under…

Cold?

With a loud gasp of pain, I sat up, feeling alert. My eyes flew open, all signs of drowsiness gone and replaced with a few tears that fell down my cheeks. I looked up to see Tyson standing beside the bed, looking smug and holding an empty bucket of water in his hand. My eyes darted towards the door where the rest of my 'friends' stood, looking surprised. I looked back at Tyson, ignoring the burning sensation behind my eyes.

I said nothing. Instead, I looked down at my hands and bit my lips in a futile attempt to control my anger. I shuddered as the wind hit my cold, wet body from the window and cursed myself for leaving it open.

"Hils?" Angry as I was, I made no attempt to answer Max when he called me.

I raised my hand and took off the covers that clung to my clothes and placed my feet down on the floor.

"It's the 22nd of July." Max said, walking over with a towel in his hands. He handed it to me and I took it before closing my eyes. I tried to fight off the drowsiness from them…22nd July? Why did it sound familiar?

I couldn't remember. It felt like too much work just to think. It was probably because it's hard to do so when someone wakes you up like that. Or maybe my anger was clouding everything else.

"Yeah, sure." I replied, my voice sounding thick from sleep. I got up and rubbed my eyes, still trying to fight away the sleep. I grabbed the clothes that I had left out to get dried yesterday and walked towards the washroom, ignoring the small crowd at the door.

After the shower—where I stretched my tired body like I'd never stretched it before and heard the soft _crack_s as my bones moved—I managed to shake off the sleepy feeling and change into less cold, wet and clingy clothes. But I was just as much worn-out as I had been when I had woken up.

'Morning grumpiness' (as Tyson had put it when Max had pointed out that he should apologize for upsetting me) hadn't left me yet. Everything seemed irritating; the clatter of the spoons on the marble plates as everyone ate, the silent whispers the guys were passing each other, Tyson's loud laugh, the tap water as it ran down the sink where Grandpa was washing the dishes, Kenny's constant typing in the background…

I bit my lips and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself.

"Right Hillary?"

I looked up at the sound of my name. It was Ray.

"What?" I asked, my voice still thick from sleep. Ray looked at me apologetically before saying what he wanted.

"You're gonna help us keep the press of Tyson's ass, right?"

I blinked. The press? And then it sunk in. My senses perked up; my eyes came into focus and I tried to register the situation. _Today?_ The countless times the guys mentioned it, the countless calendars it had been marked upon all over the house, all the times they had rechecked their reminders to make sure they didn't miss it… 22nd of July…

"Today?" I asked disbelievingly, my voice sounding alert, almost anxious. "The tournament is today?"

I couldn't believe it. What type of a coach _was_ I? The tournament, the biggest event of the year, was TODAY! And I hadn't even realized it! Why hadn't anyone _told_ me? Why hadn't they reminded me? Why couldn't _I_ keep track myself? I hadn't even realized that the tournament that the guys had been training for a year was due _today_! And I was busy SLEEPING!

Everything was quiet as the guys stared back at me with shock. Tyson's hand was paused in front of him, holding the fork mid-way to his mouth. Kenny's mouth was hanging open. Max looked disappointed, even Ray had failed to keep a calm expression. Even _Kai _couldn't keep a normal face. His gaze was more tormenting than the rests'. There was disappointed, like Max but stronger and clearer, and then there was anger. I deserved that. I wondered why they called me a part of the team, let alone a friend, when I could barely just remember one of the most important days of their lives.

Their faces gave me the answer I needed and immediately, I stood up and ran towards my room. I locked the door and panicking already, I looked at the clock, hoping I wasn't too late.

4:45 am…

I remembered Mr. Dickenson telling the guys some time that the ride will pick us up at five in the morning. Fifteen minutes. Enough time for me to thrust everything into my empty duffle bag. I scowled at myself for being so stupid to forget something like the tournament. Maybe the guys shouldn't have woken me up. It was only fair that I'd be left behind for doing that. Maybe then I'd never let them down again.

I threw my shampoo bottle and my comb on top of the hurriedly-shoved clothes and closed the zip. I threw the bag over my shoulders and walked downstairs, feeling guilty.

"I'm so sorry I forgot." I started half-way down the stairs. Apparently they had been waiting for me, standing there at the end of the stairs, looking impatient. All of them had their bags around their shoulders too. "You guys should hit me or something, really."

"That's okay, Hils." Max said with a smile. But his expression was completely different. Disgruntled. I guess I deserved that.

"I'm sorry." I muttered once more, reaching the end. "I can't believe this. I was so distracted! I didn't even—"

"Let's get going, Hillary." Kai said, cutting me off. I couldn't find it in myself to look at him angrily, I was feeling so guilty!

_At least they forgave me, _I thought, trailing behind them glumly as they walked out. We waited outside for the ride to arrive. I fidgeted nervously with my fingers, trying to keep myself awake. I was only human and I had had barely three hours of sleep, it was natural that sleep was coming to me. I fought against it though. I didn't want to slip up again. There was much to do today. First, we had to go to BBA in the bus that would be arriving now. We'd meet Mr. Dickenson, the head of BBA and the General Manager of the tournament, and he'd take us –and many other contestants—to the place where it the tournament was being held. I wondered idly where it was this year. As ignorant as I had been, I wouldn't have even have known that.

Grandpa came out for a short goodbye. He joked about how Tyson would eat up all the restaurants like he had done last year and how Ray could try out different hair products from different countries that might do miracles for his long mane. He wondered aloud if Max would ask Mariam out this year and if Kenny would 'make a move' on Emily.

Thankfully, the ride arrived just before Grandpa moved towards me for joking, and I thanked my lucky stars. He wished us good luck and hugged Tyson for a long time while we got inside the bus and threw our bags at the bottom of the first few seats randomly. When everyone was inside and in their respective seats, Kai motioned for the driver to start moving.

Grandpa kept waving till we were out of sight and then we relaxed. I had taken a seat in the middle while everyone else crowded in the front and Kai sat at the very back. It took about two hours to get to the BBA, from my experience, from the Dojo. I guess it could hurt no-one if I zoned out for a bit. I leaned against the comfy seat, feeling sleepy already and closed my eyes.

"Hey."

My eyes opened and I looked up, blinking in drowsiness. Kai took a seat beside me and I relaxed back again, closing my eyes. It wouldn't hurt him if I didn't speak, would it? He liked silence.

"Are you tired?" He asked and I realized that he had no apparent intentions of keeping quiet. I opened my eyes, blinking sleepily again, and looked up at him.

"Yeah." I murmured softly in reply, looking away from his gaze. "Aren't you?"

I remembered that he was up just as late as I was—probably even more late than that—and he looked minty fresh. As soon as I thought that, I blushed, remembering about how I had realized that I had feelings for him. It wasn't a comforting though, rather an anxious one with him this close.

"I am." He replied, his voice just as soft as mine had been. I looked up at him. He didn't _look_ tired. Why was that? Three hours sleep didn't seem sufficient enough. But then again, I hadn't been sleeping well lately. And maybe all those sleepless nights were finally getting to me. That was probably why I was feeling so exhausted right now.

"Did you need something?" I asked, trying to avoid his eyes. His skin, in the dim light from the window, seemed so delicate. I had never used that word for Kai, it seemed strange. He was so strong and independent, so reliable. Never had he shown any signs of softness. But it was just that his skin was so pale and smooth and…gosh, it made me want to touch him.

He smiled at me and I couldn't help but marvel over how nice it looked on him. It was distracting, so I forced myself to look away. How weird would it look if I'd be staring at him like that?

"Go to sleep." He said, still smiling politely at me. "I'll ask when you wake up."

I didn't wait for him to leave as I closed my eyes and rested my head back against the seat again. I must have fell asleep right then cuz it felt like just seconds later that Kai woke me up. I was surprised; he was still sitting next to me. Hadn't he left when I had fallen asleep?

"We're almost to the stop." Kai said in a low voice. I didn't look up to see what his expression was and neither did I reply. The exhaustion hadn't left me completely but it had gotten bearable and I wondered how long I had slept. The sun had risen completely; it should've been about seven or something.

I rubbed my eyes with my front fingers, trying to adjust to the bright light. My back felt oddly stiff due to staying at the same position for a few hours and I stretched a bit to relax my muscles. Already it seemed like a very bad day, I wondered how it would end. There was so much to do. Well, all the guys had to do was to set their stuff in their rooms and worry about the preliminaries. But, I had a lot to do. Arrange meetings with the media, keep the press away, help Mr. Dickenson with some paper work I had promised, keep the guys locked up inside their rooms to make sure that some random weirdo's don't attack them, make sure they don't consume something that might cause some trouble in the upcoming match (that was difficult, the hotel service was FREE for the contestants) and all the usual stuff. Being tired like I was now wasn't gonna help.

"What's wrong?" Kai said, noticing my frown. I just shook my head in reply and muttered a very low 'Nothing' just as the bus came to a stop. I peeked out the window at the tall building where all the BBA staff was, waiting patiently for the contestants to arrive so that they could leave for their destination. I felt goose-bumps just thinking again about all the work I had to do.

"Come-on, Hils." Kai said, getting up. It was the first time I looked at his face after I woke up. He turned his back immediately but I thought I caught a glimpse of confusion on his face. Confusion? Why was he confused? Had I said something I shouldn't have?

I didn't get time to ponder over what was wrong much. Just like I had predicted, there was SO much to do. As soon as we entered the building, where Mr. Dickenson stood waiting for us, he showed me the very, _very_ huge bundle of papers. He said that it contained all the information about the contestants that the company should know of before they let them compete. They had been checked but I had been given the subtle task of arranging them according to their registration number to 'make it easier to get them if any future problems may arise'. I eyed the humungous bundle as some guy took it away, probably to the plane, before shuddering internally.

And I had thought that today was gonna be the hard day. It seemed as if it would take me _days_ to get the task done, there were a _millions_ of people all across the world that had competed in the tournament this year!

The guys looked at me apologetically as I sighed in discomfort.

"I hope it's not much to ask, Hillary." Mr. Dickenson said. At first, I thought he was being sarcastic but then realized that he was serious and I instantly raised my hands up in defense.

"It's okay, Mr. D." I replied, smiling politely. "I hope you don't mind it being a little late though."

"Of course not!" He said as if I had asked him to kill all the people in this building for ten dollars. "I could've made my secretary do it but she's on vacation. And you know how busy the tournament gets, don't you? You only have _one_ team to manage and I have to control the _entire_ BBA! I hope you understand, Hillary. Once again, I'm so sorry—"

"It's okay, Mr. Dickenson. I'll do it." I replied, feeling sorry for him all of a sudden. Poor Mr. D.

And so that's how I got myself into the mess I was right now. I grabbed my head in frustration, staring at the countless sheets of paper in front of me. My veins twitched as I heard Tyson's peeling laughter from behind. Couldn't he be just a _tiny_ bit considerate? It was bad enough that I wasn't getting to enjoy the normally thrilling ride in the plane but he had to make it worse by showing me that _everyone_ _else_ was having fun. Why couldn't they suffer along with me?

Maybe Tyson _should_ have left me behind. Maybe then I wouldn't be stuck like I was right now. But then again, this was probably a good punishment. The guys must be getting a good kick out of this.

I continued bravely back to work. The flight was long, just as I had expected. Yeah, sure, why not make things difficult for lil' ol' Hils, right? Everyone hates her anyway. She has no life. She can't even walk properly without slipping on her own feet. Yeah, go ahead God and punish me for all the wrong things that I have done. I don't wanna ask but why doesn't Tyson get this punishment? He's probably committed more crimes than I have what with all the meat he's wasted instead of saving it for someone who actually needed it. But, sure, give me the punishment for yelling at my Mom. Why not?

I sighed again. Like I was saying, the flight was long, elongating my misery all the more. I thought it was very considerate of Ray to bring me some coffee before running off to torturing me again. And I also thought he deserved the inappropriate gesture I gave him behind his back. Good thing that there were no kids standing by. That would've been bad.

"Registration number 10045," I muttered to myself, placing the paper on the neat pile next to me. That was where all the dealt-with papers had been placed. It was also my favorite pile of all the seventeen ones.

I looked at the picture of the brown-haired girl briefly before putting it on the dealt-with pile. Just out of curiosity, I kept glancing at the pictures to see if I recognized any of them. Many people I knew had participated. The Saint Shields, The White Tigers, The All Stars, The Majestic's, The Blade Breakers and many others had been on top of the lists due to their high scores. Aside from them, I recognized a few guys from our school and a few from Tyson's and mine's neighborhood. I vaguely remembered a few from when I had seen them last year in the competition. Many of them were unknown though and I had never seen any of their faces.

I took a sip from my coffee and leaned back, sighing in frustration and deciding to call it quits for a day. I was so exhausted that it felt like I would never wake up once I go to sleep. I pitied myself. Was it so hard for my friends to help me? Was I that repulsive?

"Are you done?"

I looked up to see a guy in the BBA uniform, staring at me expectantly with a smile on his face.

"No," I replied, smiling back. "But I've had enough for a day."

He nodded understandingly before motioning for some other guards to take away the papers. It made me smile that one guy had his uniform worn inside-out but I managed to hide it. He looked oddly nervous, maybe he was new or something. The first guy gave him the undone bundle to put into some small trunk that was lying somewhere nearby.

Was it just me or was there something weird about that guy? The way he looked meaningfully at the bundle of sheets in his hands was almost like how Tyson would look at a piece of chicken that was in his hands but it belonged to somewhere else. A mixture of guilt and longing, I had no problem recognizing it. Was there something wrong here?

And then I saw him, sitting beside the fifth seat in front of me, looking in my direction. His hazel eyes stared at me like how a hunter stares at his prey. Menacing. Threatening. And that was all it took for me to feel more light-headed than I already was feeling. He looked up, his smile not faltering even a little bit and I flinched spontaneously.

I couldn't, however, even guess what my face looked like now. What I was feeling inside was just so much more preoccupying.

_Why?_ _Why? Why? Why? Why?...Why did he follow me? Why was he so obsessed? Why follow me _here_? _

It felt as if there was some big lump stuck in my throat, making it hard to breathe properly. It felt as if I had put my hands very close to a fire, what with the speed at which they were sweating.

He began to get up and I got up too in response. He started to walk towards me but I turned around on my seat and looked at the guys.

"Um…" I started nervously, wondering again how my expression looked to them. All of them were sitting around a big table, just like most of the teams were on this place, looking as if they were having a very interesting conversation with the way their faces were twisted up into small smiles. They stared up at me, considering how I was peeking down at them from the top of a seat, looking confused all of a sudden at my expression.

"Can one of you come here, please?" My voice sounded barely my own as I whispered this. Kai was the first one to respond. He got up and looked at me with a curious look before his gaze traveled behind me and his eyes turned wary. I didn't look behind to see what he was seeing. Had he caught Drew trying to do something that would look suspicious? I didn't know and nor did I want to. He kept looking behind me as I turned around to sit back on my seat. It was then that I looked up at what had gotten Kai to pause like right now.

Of course, it was Drew. But he wasn't half-way turned around as if caught altering his path like I had suspected. He was looking back at Kai boldly, staring back with a doubtful expression and standing a few steps away from his seat, closer towards me. I looked at Kai, who was undoubtedly staring back at Drew with the same doubtful look as his own, and clutching at the seat I was sitting at. Did they know each other? Was that it? Or, as intuitive as he was, did Kai suspected something bad about Drew?

It was Kai who broke the silent conversation they were having, turning away ever so slightly but not breaking the eye contact. His eyebrows furrowed and he took a step towards me, inching closer. It felt like a protective gesture but I knew Kai better than to feel the need to protect me from some guy he had just seen. Or maybe that was it. Did he feel the unexplained need to want to guard me from Drew? Was that what his instincts were telling him?

And then it was Drew who broke the contact completely. Turning his back on Kai, he walked back towards his seat and never even glanced back. It was when Drew had completely sat down that Kai relaxed. His grip loosened and he turned his head to look down at me.

_I thank everyone for reviewing! I didn't even know I had so many people who loved my story! Or so many people who read it in the first place!_

_I wanna thank:_

pokeblade-girl

Bella6292

Kbwinx

Forbidden-Hanyou

_for reviewing and for telling me your honest (hopefully) opinions. They really made my day! Those were exactly what I needed. Just a small boost to inspire me. You guys inspire me, to tell you the truth. It's weird, considering all you have to do is review. You don't know how much that means to me, I wish there were words to express my feelings. Exotic seems like an understatement for the first time to me._

_I was surprised at how many people wanted Kai to beat Drew up to pulp and 'rescue' Hillary. I hope I don't disappoint you guys by saying that it's not gonna happen. I don't like violence, like I said to many people, and I'm not gonna portray it in my story. I've got something else planned. I hope it makes up for the unwanted violence. _

_Thanks everyone once again for reading and reviewing._ _Sorry for the inappropriate stop but I couldn't find anywhere else to do so. I hope you liked it. Feel free to tell me how you feel and what you think. _

_Take care everyone! _


	8. Somebody to Love

** Chapter 7: Somebody to Love**

"Move." He said fiercely, motioning towards the other seat, the one that was across from where I was sitting. His suddenly harsh expression surprised me but I didn't respond to it. Instead, I did as he told me to do. It bothered me that my back was turned towards Drew, that I couldn't see what he was doing but I still didn't say anything, not wanting to talk to Kai right now. Apparently, he was angry.

I watched as he sat down in front of me and looked angrily behind me again before turning towards me. I sighed, knowing exactly what was coming next but feeling oddly unprepared for it. He leaned towards me from across the table, staring at me with those purple eyes of his. There wasn't much of a gap between the two of our seats so I leaned back at his motion. He pretended like he didn't notice my move and continued to look at me with an irritated expression.

"Do you know that guy?"

His voice was low but the aggravation in it was just as clear as it was on his face. I stiffened, thinking about the answer before shaking my head from side to side.

"No." I replied, looking directly back at him. I couldn't tell whether he thought I was lying or not, his expression still remained the same.

"Then why was he walking towards you?"

"He could be walking to someone else." I argued, finally turning away from his eyes. His eyebrows knitted together, as if I had just said something very confusing but he didn't voice it. For a while, it was quiet till…

"I know he wasn't." He whispered, leaning towards me. His response puzzled me and I looked back up in curiosity of knowing what he could possibly have meant by that.

Noticing my perplexed and awaiting expression, he continued.

"I still see that look in your eyes." His voice was still barely above a whisper. "You're afraid."

I could tell me silence gave away everything he wanted to hear, everything that even my words couldn't describe better and I just sat there, waiting for him to take out his anger at me.

"Are you scared?"

And so again, he took me by surprise with the soft tone when I expected an angry one. It was so childish to feel flutters in my stomach at a time like this with just the tone in his voice but they came. The butterflies inside me quivered with excitement all the more when I made the mistake of looking into his eyes…his big, purple-colored, questioning eyes. Again, I got the unexplained feeling of wanting to stare deeply into them for ages and never wanting to look away. The mysterious feeling of wanting to search for something, knowing it won't be there but still not wanting to stop began to overpower my thoughts.

"Hillary?" He pleaded, snapping me out of my trance. "Please?"

I blinked at him. A part of me felt relieved –he hadn't noticed that my lack of response was because I was too busy marveling over him—but another part, a larger part, of me was nervous. I couldn't form the words, not that there were many, and neither could I react physically. I stayed frozen in my place, waiting for something even I didn't know to come.

"Hillary?" His voice was more pleading than before. His eyes held an expression that looked so close to pain but I was sure I was misunderstanding it. Slowly and gradually, I moved my head from one side to other before looking away completely. Suddenly, the round and wavy patterns of the small table started to look very interesting.

I heard him sigh. It wasn't a sound of anger or irritation and I didn't look up to see what it was about. From the corner of my eye, I saw his fingers tighten into fists on the wooden table and I closed my eyes in fear of how he'll react next. I leaned a little bit forward, carefully hiding my face in my hair.

Everything was quiet. If it hadn't been for the uncomfortable tinge in the air, I was sure I would've fallen asleep. Wrapping my arms around myself, I slowly opened my eyes just in time to see Kai stand up.

"Kai, please!" I whispered, the fear in my voice as clear as the blue sky. I had to admit, I was so panicked that I actually grabbed his arm and pushed him so fiercely back that he fell on _my_ seat and he had to grab the table to balance himself. He looked at me sarcastically before rolling his eyes a little but said nothing.

"Don't leave." It was my turn to plead. I let go of his arm but leaned forward, somehow feeling safe near him. "Please, Kai."

His arm wrapped itself around my shoulder, pulling me closer before he chuckled.

"I won't." He promised as I inched closer to him. I was glad he couldn't see my blush. That would've been tacky.

For a while, it was quiet. It felt so nice resting against Kai's warm body. His lilac scent was so intoxicating that I could barely think of anything else. His soft hands that pushed against my waist were so…nice. But like I had once said, even happiness doesn't last forever.

"Hillary?" Kai asked in a questioning voice. I pulled away a little to look up at him. He looked distracted, almost angry and somehow, it bothered me to see him like that. "What are you so scared of?"

He grabbed both my arms before I could turn away, forcing me to look at him.

"Honestly." He was so close that even his whisper sounded loud and his breath tickled my skin. "Don't lie."

And I didn't know why it happened but suddenly, there were tears in my eyes. Everything Drew had ever said, every emotion I had felt whenever he was close, every look he had passed me, every smile, every threatening word, every single touch…everything now stacked in front of me, as if mocking me, as if yelling at the top of its voice that I could never escape it…

Kai's grip loosened on my arm when he heard my muffled sob and noticed my flowing tears. He looked down at me with what looked like confusion through my blurred vision. I looked down, away from his gaze, as tear after tear trickled down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, letting go completely but I clutched at him and buried my head in his shoulders. I felt his hands around my waist again as he pulled me all the more closer than it was possible. I didn't know why, but there was that feeling again. As if nothing bad could happen as long as I was in his arms. Security.

"I'm so sorry." He repeated as I clutched at him more desperately. "I didn't know it was so bad. I'm sorry."

I didn't have it in me to tell him that it wasn't his fault. It was so hard to control my sobs already. I couldn't form any words so I just clutched at him more tightly and hid my face completely into his shoulders. Maybe his sweet scent could help me think more clearly…

But it couldn't. I found myself coming up with negative thoughts only. It made me shudder when I realized that I had to spend the tournament trying to hide from Drew. All the possibilities, anything could happen…

I knew I was in deep crap. Maybe there was some other reason as to why Drew was taking part in the tournament, something that didn't involve me. But it didn't matter why he was here, I would have to face him no matter the reason. What then? I couldn't make an excuse and go back. The guys needed me, I had responsibilities here…and I didn't have anywhere to go. Grandpa had gone to visit some relatives in the other side of the country, saying that he'd be lonely and the guys would never agree on leaving me alone there. And now that Kai knew about my Mom, I couldn't even excuse myself using that lie.

"It's okay." Kai's voice interrupted my thoughts, bringing me to the present. Oh, how much I wanted to believe him, what I wouldn't give to do just that but it was _not_ okay.

"Hillary?" He muttered in surprise at a loud sob that escaped my lips. Good thing, what with all the noise, only he could hear it. "Please."

I looked up slightly, trying to blink away the tears. I could tell from his voice that he was freaking out. It was so wrong to have him suffer along with me so I tried to control myself enough to let him know I was fine…or _will be _fine.

But I couldn't.

I bit my lip to stop the oncoming sob before looking completely up at him. He looked at me directly in the eyes, as if searching for something. I didn't know what he saw in there but he responded strangely to it. Pain and discomfort crossed his features before his protective side took over.

"Don't be afraid." He barely mouthed the words but I made them out clearly. His fingers touched my cheeks just a little to wipe away the tears while his other hand tightened its grip on my waist.

I didn't reply. His hand moved from my cheeks to the back of my neck. I felt him pull me closer from behind, his hands entangling with my already-messed hair. I wasn't crying as hard as I had been, the sobs had practically stopped but I still felt nauseated so it was a relief when he kept inching me closer. The closer he was, the more secure I felt.

"You're scaring me, Hils." He ended in a low voice. While the idea of Kai being scared seemed weird, I could tell he wasn't lying. There _was_ some fear in his eyes. I didn't know what he saw in my expression because he pulled at my waist till we were so close that our foreheads touched. His breath mingled with mine and I closed my eyes for a while to calm myself down before opening them again.

"I'm sorry." I finally managed to whisper after swallowing a bit. His hand travelled from the back of my neck to my shoulders, then down my back again. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck gently and inched forward before closing my eyes.

There was a low chuckle that made me open them. I looked up at Kai and saw his face twisted up in a small smile but he said nothing to voice his thoughts. Nor did I ask. I was too busy marveling over him. For quite a while I'd been wanting to touch his skin and now that it was so close…

"Don't let me be alone." I whispered, pulling my hand back from his neck to touch the part of his lips that were turned upwards into a smile. "I _am_ afraid."

Kai didn't respond in any way and I knew he was curious as to what might make me say that. I could see it in his eyes, he wanted to ask me something, maybe more than just one thing, but he didn't say anything. He bit his lips before sighing as I pulled back my other hand to rest it in his lap. I tried to pull away in case he wanted some space now—I mean this was Kai after all, he couldn't want someone this close for so long—but he didn't let me. Instead, he pulled my face into his shoulder where it rested for the rest of the flight.

The woods passed me by, I ran and ran but it felt like I was going nowhere. Nothing changed except the fact that my muscles were now starting to give away. I stumbled before falling down on the muddy ground. There was a tearing sound and a small noise that made me look around. Before I could bring myself to react, a tall figure stepped around a thick tree. There was the same small sound again, the sound of a menacing smirk, before everything went black…

I gasped loudly, waking up to realize that I was drenched in sweat. The covers and sheets were tangled in a mass around me and a pillow lay dully on the marble floor.

"Hillary?"

There was a bright light and I blinked furiously, trying to adjust to it. Kai walked inside, leaving the door ajar to let some light in, and stood beside me. I tried to control my ragged breaths and increased heartbeat but I could only do that once I succeed in forgetting about the nightmare. But even though it had become very usual, I couldn't do that.

"Go to sleep." I moaned, trying to pull the sheets off by kicking at them rather uselessly. Kai opened the bedside lamp and I closed my eyes in response to the bright light that hit my eyes. I heard him sigh and felt his hands trying to pull off the sheets. By the time I had fully adjusted to the light, he had already straightened the covers around me as neatly as was possible and was now picking up the white pillow that was lying miserably on the floor.

"You're turning this into a bad habit, you know."He said, placing the pillow on the bed beside me before kneeling down on the floor. I rested my head on the pillow and turned around to face him.

"You don't have to make it a habit too." I pointed but he just shook his head at me. I looked away before he could press it any further.

Yeah, I had to admit, my head was messed up with all the worrying, I was scared and naturally, it was affecting my sleep too now. My constant dreams had been keeping me up lately. Of course they were about the deranged guy named Drew and to be honest, I'd rather face him than these nightmares. It was one thing to face him in reality, knowing that there may be a way out and it was another to have him chase you around in your dreams, knowing that there was no way you could escape it.

Hopelessness was worse than anything else I had to face.

"It's getting bad."

Kai's voice was low but, just like his expression, it was stiff. I straightened up to lean against the bed and Kai stood up to sit next to me. His back was towards me but his face was turned slightly sideways. The yellow light was dim, but I didn't need that to tell what he was feeling.

"I know." I replied with a sigh.

"If you'd just tell—"

"No."

"Maybe it'll help."

"You don't have to get involved, you know?" I said angrily and he didn't hesitate in returning the irritated glare. "Go to bed and pretend this never happened, alright?"

I could see I had hit a nerve. Suddenly, his eyes tightened and his lips formed a frown as he continued to glare angrily at me. But I didn't care.

"This is my problem, okay?" I continued. "I already admitted to you that I'm having some troubles which are causing all these disturbing nights, that there is some psychological relation and all and that I am worried about something but that doesn't mean I'm gonna tell you the actual thing or that you might feel the need to get involved in my growing problems, okay, Kai?"

There was silence as Kai contemplated my words.

"I can't do that." He said with a calmer expression, making me sigh in defeat. "You don't mean it. I know you don't."

"Why not?" I challenged, finding it hard to stay angry at him for so long. Had he been anything but helpful and supportive?

"Why don't you tell me what the problem is, Hillary?" He said, suddenly changing the subject. "It's been a whole week. It's not getting any better. I know you're afraid, I know you're fighting with something and I'm helping you. I _want_ to help you but don't you think it's easier to know what I'm fighting for? Or do you think I don't deserve to know anything at all?"

It took me a while to think carefully about his words. Feeling guilty, I closed my eyes and pulled the covers up to my chin.

"Kai, please, don't blame me for this. I'm miserable as it is."

"I'm not blaming you for anything." He argued. His voice rose a bit and I opened my eyes to glare angrily at him. "I just wanna know what's wrong with you."

"You already know more than I can tell."

Suddenly, with the speed of light, his expression turned from contorted to furious. He squinted his eyes angrily and gave me a very cold glare.

"Why do you say that?" His voice was suddenly so loud that I almost shook with surprise. He had never yelled at me. Yeah, sure he was angry and he'd even show it as clearly as it was possible but he had never raised his voice at me. "Why is it that whenever I ask you what your issues are, you just shrug me off?"

I could see he was waiting for me to reply but I didn't, afraid that I might make him all the more angry. His hands were on either side of me before I could even comprehend the situation any further. He was now fully turned towards me. He moved closer, his expression the same angry mask.

"Why do you make it sound like it's not your secret to keep?" There was silence as he looked at me expectantly, waiting for the answer. When I didn't reply, he continued, his voice barely above a whisper this time.

"You're not doing me a favor by telling the truth."

I was caught off guard by the sudden change in tone and so it was a little slowly that I realized what he meant. He was right, of course. For a second, I forgot the actual reason behind my actions. What if I was in Kai's place? It must have been so hard for him to watch me break down like I had a week ago in the plane. It must have been so difficult for him to know that I had some problems that could be solved, once told to the right person that is, something I wouldn't let him do. He must feel so helpless, watching me like this.

I had already told him about my minor problem—minor but continuously growing—with my Mom. Judging from Kai's reactions around Drew—growling underneath his breath whenever he looked at him, clenching his fist whenever he passed or just glaring coldly behind his back—I could tell Kai already had some instinctual feelings against him. All I needed was for Kai to know that he was the one I was having troubles with.

For a tiny second, that seemed like a huge relief. If Kai knew, he would keep me away from him. He would protect me. He wouldn't let Drew come close enough to even smile menacingly at me, let alone do any harm. He'd be happy that I'd told him, he'd get his wish and I'd be safe.

But then, with a sick feeling of severe disappointment, I realized that Kai could actually do no good. So what if he knew the truth? Now that we were under constant security, Kai couldn't actually go and pick a fight with Drew. If I told Kai the truth, he'd let his anger take over and then he'd do something regretful. Something that he would have to take the blame for. The least he could do was protect me from him. And I'd already told him to not let me be alone and he'd been keeping an eye on me ever since. And I was just as safe with any one of my friends as I was with him so it really didn't matter if he kept an eye on me. I just said that as an extra measure, just in case. Who knew what might happen?

And if I told him the truth, it wouldn't change things much other than the fact that if Drew found out, he might do something to cause harm.

I held back a curse and clenched my fist as a new realization struck. Why had Drew followed me here? I knew exactly why. I had thought about it just a few days ago: running away wasn't a choice. I couldn't go back to Japan because I didn't have a place to stay to now that the tournament had started and no-one was where I usually hid from him…Drew knew that. I had everywhere to go back in Tokyo to escape from him. And although it was never difficult for him to find me, he couldn't actually say or do anything. I couldn't even begin to imagine how easy it would be for him to sneak up on me once we were in the same building. There was every possibility that we might actually have the lockers or bedrooms next to each other's.

And maybe that was exactly why he came. He knew he had me trapped here. He would know where I was staying, where I was eating, where I was sleeping…

Aside from the fact that he had me confined to one place where he would know exactly what I was doing and where I was, he could easily keep tabs on me. He would know my routine. He would know when I was with my friends and when I was alone. And it just made things so much more easier for him that I could tell no-one about him. So convenient…

And then, —just the thought made me shudder—if I could tell someone, if he was ever to know that I had told someone, he could easily harm them…If he found out that Kai knew about him, I couldn't imagine how he'll react. It was one thing to take it out on me but it was something else for him to be in such a close proximity to someone I cared for, someone he could decisively harm. Why would he even hesitate, anyway?

A strange mingle of emotions coursed through me; fear, anger, disappointment… But the worst—and the clearest—of all was hopelessness.

"Hillary?"

It was just the sound of his suddenly-worried voice as he took in my expression that brought me back to reality. My eyes came into focus slowly, but with the tears that were flowing, it wasn't helping my vision at all.

I barely noticed Kai when he grabbed my shoulders and shook them violently. Just like it had when I had woken up, my heart beat and breathing were so loud that they blocked out everything else and my hands were beginning to sweat again.

"Hillary?"

I blinked, my eyes finally coming into focus in reaction to the sudden panic in Kai's voice. I breathed heavily as I stared back at him. He was searching my expression again. I didn't care though, I was just way too much preoccupied by the way my life was turning out. Was anything ever fair? Isn't it fair that I get to decide who I get to spend my time with? Was it too much to ask? Did God have to confine me to such extreme limits like this? Was there some sin I had committed that I deserved a punishment that took away my free will?

"I'm sorry, Hillary." He whispered, tightening his hold on my shoulders. "I'm so sorry. You're right. It isn't my problem."

He moved closer, I could practically hear his rasped breath over mine.

"Don't cry, Hillary." He whispered painfully, searching my expression again. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again if it hurts you, okay?"

And then I don't know whether it was the fact that I was panicked—what with the sudden realization and stuff—or that I was afraid or just touched by his words, but suddenly, I pushed myself into his arms and grabbed him in a tight embrace.

I couldn't say I regretted it. Aside from the fact that I felt secure—just like I had the last time—in his arms, it felt as if I was in desperate need of a reassuring hug. I clung to him tightly, telling him things that my words couldn't express. That I was hurt, that I was lost, that I was desperate, that I was angry and that I was afraid. There was something else, too, when I touched him. The way I clung to him…as if I hadn't hugged anyone in my whole life before and that I was liking what I was feeling. Almost as if I was…lonely?

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. It had been the story of my life. I wasn't something that anyone needed. I had always been the supportive one, never the one to take any serious action on behalf of someone—not that I wanted to. I was someone who'd –in a millions of uni-colored dull ribbons—would look good in the background. Once I was out of place, it didn't matter much. I was someone who'd support the brighter people, never getting involved in the actual action.

No-one supported me—cuz it felt as if I never really needed it, that I was too busy supporting the others—when actually, even I need something to hold on to. I had problems, not that I had been so open about them, but that didn't mean they weren't there. It was so usual to feel out of place, to feel like I didn't belong. All my life, it felt as if I had been screaming inside myself, too afraid to let anyone know that I needed help, too. All my life, I had been so confined. At times, I was sick of everyone around me, sick of the strange world I had made for myself.

I was lonely, I always had been. But the strange thing was that it was a nagging feeling now. Why feel it so badly right now when it had always been a part of who I was?

It didn't take me long to figure out the exact answer to that.

"It's okay, Hillary." He whispered, breathing into my hair. I sighed into his neck and pressed my wet eyes to his comparatively cold skin.

_Kai_ was the answer. I needed somebody to love. Someone who'd hold me close and tell me it'll be alright. Someone who I'd call my own and only my own. No-one else's. Was that too much to ask? To as for someone who'd be all mine?

Could Kai be the one? I knew I had feelings for him but I was still a teenager. My hormones were still active. Just because I had feelings for him didn't mean he was the one for me. The realization was even more disappointing than anything else. He was mature, he was strong, he'd been every bit supportive of my every decision, he accepted me, he _cared _for me…

I had even seen the proof in his expression. He was_ afraid_ for me. He feared that I was so down. Was it possible that he liked me too? I mean, in the same unknown way I liked him?

He pulled me close against his chest where I stayed for a while, thinking over the complicated situation. It was when his lilac scent over-powered my senses, intoxicating me, that I felt something; a low shaking feeling. Like the after effect of a morning coffee cup, like the feeling after walking beneath the sun in the dawn, like the refreshed feeling after taking a shower. It was like worry never existed anymore. It was different from feeling secure…it was like feeling careless. It felt like it didn't even matter that there was a tower of worries hovering over me. Why should it matter as long as I was where I was?

And then I thought about all the times he had said my name, all the times he had touched me, all the times he had pulled me close against him, all the times he had reassured me, all the times he had told me that he'll help, that he _wanted_ to help, all the times he had told me that it'll be okay…

And maybe, just maybe, there _was_ a chance that he could be the one…

_Done! Whoa! That_ _was a long one. But it was worth it! I hope you guys like it. I enjoyed writing this chapter the most. It should've been clear by the end…_

_Anyway, thanks for everyone who reviewed and let me know their WONDERFUL ideas. I really appreciate them and I hope you'll keep them coming in. I wanna personally thank…_

Okami1001

Natascha-chan

Forbidden-Hanyou

Bella6292

Kbwinx

Allconspirer

skyd

…_for inspiring me by reviewing on the last chapter. Thanks for your great ideas, I was running out anyway. Thanks EVERYONE! Hope you let me know what you thought about this chapter too._

_Hope it wasn't TOO mushy or something._


	9. The Strange Encounter

** Chapter 9: The Strange Encounter…**

I yawned silently and sluggishly opened my eyes. It took a while for me to take in the situation and I instantly looked around the room, suddenly alert. Judging from the dim light coming from the window, I guessed it was probably nearly seven in the morning. This was early, considering how late I had slept last night.

My gaze turned towards the half-opened door spontaneously at the sudden reminder. I didn't hear any voices so I guessed that everyone was probably asleep. My eyes then darted towards the covers were wrapped tightly around me and I guessed that I must've fallen asleep in Kai's arms last night cuz that was the last thing I remembered.

I blushed, wondering about my strange reactions. I tried not to think about the bad parts, the instant realization I had for example, and concentrated solely on all the things Kai said.

It felt nice to think about something pleasant first thing in the morning. Remembering his voice, his skin on mine made me want to smile. And so, just to start the day nicely, I thought about him a little more. It was when I heard some shuffling outside the door that I decided to get up.

After taking a shower and changing my clothes, I entered the lounge where Ray and Kenny were sitting, watching some show on the TV.

This year, the tournament was being held in Beijing, China. Everyone was happy, especially Ray. His hometown was just a few hours away and he went there with The White Tigers whenever he got the chance. Part of me wondered if it had anything to do with Mariah but I hadn't asked. It was his life, who was I to bother anyway?

So, somewhere in Beijing, there was a place where Mr. Dickenson had made the contestants stay. Only the people involved in the tournament were allowed to stay here and no-one else. The building was _huge,_ with a big dining hall where everyone ate and the food _never_ seemed to lessen, a few large training rooms where the contestants trained and I avoided them for apparent reasons, a dispensary room the size of a large clinic and separate suites for every team.

The suites were no joke either. Ours was on the third floor. There was a living room, where the guys usually discussed some strategies with Kenny. It was all messed up, papers scattered across the floor and computer wires lay in random directions. It was kinda apparent why I avoided that room. There was also a big TV lounge, where Ray and Kenny were sitting now, that had a big-screened TV in the corner and a few couches around it.

Other than that, the suite had five bedrooms, each having their own bathroom (thankfully). Everyone except Max and Ray had their own bedrooms. Kai said that he kicked in his sleep, even if the person had a separate bed. Kenny's excuse was that he made a huge mess of papers in the room (which wasn't a lie like Kai's) and everyone knew how loudly Tyson snored so no-one was willing to share a bedroom with him. At the end, all that left was one bedroom and two guys, Ray and Max. The last bedroom went to me and I had to admit, mine was the best. It even had a very clear view of the big garden behind the large building.

Every week, the contestants were taken to the big stadium for their matches. So far, the preliminaries were over with. All of our friends' teams had scored enough to get through. Apart from them, a few teams (that included Drew's too) had made it through as well.

"Hey, Hillary."

Ray greeted, turning away from the screen to smile at me. I automatically smiled back at him before walking over to sit by him.

"Where're the others?" I asked, someone particular in my mind actually.

"Still asleep."

"Everyone?"

Of course, I meant Kai but he couldn't tell that, could he?

"Yeah."

He turned back towards the TV after answering me and I said nothing else. Half-way through the show though, I got bored and so walked out of the suite for a short walk. After a short ride in the elevator, I made my way to the beautiful garden that I wanted to go to ever since I got here, the one that I could see from my bedroom up on the third floor.

I pretended that I was sorta content now, but it kept bothering me that some unwanted thoughts kept making their way to my head. I knew I had some issues that needed thorough examination as soon as possible and I was just putting them off. As much as I wanted to keep thinking about Kai, I knew that my problems with Drew were much more urgent.

I kicked anxiously at the small stones as some certain thoughts made their way to my head but didn't stop them. I thought about all the reasons I thought Drew was here once again and I couldn't help thinking that I was missing something. Was that why Drew was actually here? He was taking part in the tournament just so he could get to me? He was competing in an international tournament so that he could get me to give him what he wanted? The idea, even for Drew, seemed ridiculous.

Yeah sure, there were advantages here that he couldn't have back in Japan. He knew where to find me, for example, but he also knew that I would be with someone all the time. And just like it was difficult for someone to pick a fight with him on my behalf, Drew himself couldn't just go ahead and lunge at me either. It was so stupid to think that he came here in hopes to get me alone…

I _was_ missing something. Something very important…

Deep in thought as I was, I didn't realize that someone was walking in my direction till they bumped into me. I grabbed my shoulder and turned around with an apologetic look on my face…that is, till I saw who it was.

His lips were turned up into a fake smile and his brown eyes held a smug expression. I could easily tell he hadn't 'accidently' bumped into me. His brown hair bore a messy look and even though he was still the same size, he stood towering over me. I involuntarily took a step back, maintaining my personal space. With Drew, it was miles away but I was just gonna have to do with this. He would have no trouble catching up to me once I started running, what was the point anyway? It was better to stay put and show him that I wasn't scared. Which I was, actually. And it must've been apparent on my face.

He looked down at me with some unknown expression and it was then that my palms started to sweat and I found myself struggling to get some air into my lungs.

And then the strangest thing happened. Drew, instead of walking towards me, looked away from my fear-stricken expression and took a step back. Then slowly, he turned his back towards me completely and walked away without even glancing back once.

I blinked at his back, not actually believing what had happened. I looked around but found no-one who Drew might have seen that caused such a different response. As far as I could see, the garden was completely abandoned except a few bluebirds over at the small bird fountain.

I just watched as Drew entered the building in hurry. For a while, I just stood there, staring at empty space in shock. Then slowly, I made my way towards the other entrance. Even after what had happened now, I was still afraid of running into him.

_What the hell had happened?_

The thought kept making its way towards my head again and again as I walked towards the dining hall. Just as I had guess, the guys were already there, eating their breakfast. Everyone was up by now, even Tyson. As I made my way towards the table where the guys were sitting, I couldn't help but feel self-conscious under Kai's concerned gaze. He must have been worried, considering how the last time he had seen me, I was crying my heart out over something I refused to tell him. I sat down on the only empty seat across him and gave him a small smile. He responded to it by looking away from me and down at his food again.

"Hey, Hils." Tyson's voice interrupted before I could consider Kai's small gesture. I turned towards him before muttering a small 'Hey'.

"So, I was saying," Tyson said, continuing the conversation I had missed. "there are gonna be three different teams we're gonna have to oppose, right. One match with each team?"

This was, according to Mr. Dickenson, the new rule this year. In order to get to the semi finals, each team had to compete with three others. _The Blade Breakers_ had to compete with _The Majestics, The All Starz _and some team called _The Dynasties_. If we won even two of those matches, we'd make it through to the semi-finals. The off-point was that, considering that you had to win at least two matches to get to the next round, only two teams could make it. It wasn't possible for more than two teams of each group to get through. (AN: You'll get it somewhere later in the story)

There were small murmurs of agreement around the table and a nod from Kenny. Tyson continued with a smug look.

"So, who's gonna be the one who doesn't get to compete this week?"

Only one match was to be held between two teams and no more than that. That meant only three of the_ Blade Breakers_ would get to beyblade in this round.

"No way is it gonna be me!" Max yelled, practically looking like he was asked to jump off of Mount Everest. "I wanna battle with the _All Starz_! No way!"

"Alright then," Ray said as if he hadn't noticed Max throw a tantrum just now. "Tyson?"

"But, you _know_ how much I wanted to battle the _Majestics_!"

Tyson closed his eyes and groaned in disbelief.

"Maybe," Kenny said, speaking for the first time. I noticed how tired he sounded and I wondered what he'd been working on last night. "Kai should bail out this week."

I was surprised by the suggestion. Even more surprised when I glanced at Kai who looked as if he didn't care what happened.

"Why, Kenny?" I heard myself say. It was unusual. Kai never missed a chance at battling. "He's the strongest of all."

"Thanks, Hils." Tyson muttered, leaning towards me. "I'm flattered."

"No, seriously!" I exclaimed. "Why not, Kenny?"

Kenny sighed and looked at Kai. Kai looked genuinely worried but it didn't look like he was gonna through some tantrum soon.

"It's kinda bad." Kenny muttered to Kai. "It's better if you don't push it, Kai."

"What's going on?" Ray was the first one to ask something. Kai didn't respond. Instead, he looked at me before closing his eyes completely. What was going on?

"It's Dranzer." Kenny replied for him, sighing again. "It's gonna take some time to repair it."

"Repair it? Why? What happened to it?"

"Just training." Kai said, cutting off Kenny before throwing him a meaningful look. Then, he turned to look at me, his amethyst eyes holding a strange expression.

"Kai!" Tyson groaned in complain. "Why'd you do that? I don't get why you train so hard but please stop risking our chances of winning the tournament, okay?"

But it was as if he hadn't even spoken. Kai continued to stare at me with the same hidden look. He even leaned a little forward. It made me uncomfortable so I looked away, down at my hands.

"Okay, Kai's out, then."

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Kai was hiding something. And no doubt, the secret involved me. Why would he look so meaningfully at me if not? I mulled over the situation, feeling overwhelmed. It wasn't right to say that I was safe from Drew even after what happened. It would be hard to keep the secret, could I do that? Could I keep pretending that Drew didn't scare the shit out of me? The thoughts I had a while ago crept back again. Why did I get the feeling that I was missing something? It was possible for Drew to take part in the tournament just because he wanted to, wasn't it? Maybe that's why he was here in the first place. And not because he was following me. But, he had been doing that for months now. Follow me, that is. Why did he turn away when we were finally alone? Why did he rip himself off of that chance?

I rested my elbows on the table and grabbed my head in my hands, staring down at my lap in frustration. Kai already knew most of my problems. Could he have put two and two together when he had seen Drew walking towards me on the plane last week? Did he know exactly what was troubling me? And why had he looked at me like that just now? Should I know something I didn't?

I looked up at Kai, mesmerizing his picture in my head, before turning away immediately. His head was bent low over his plate, his expression was blank but I was sure he was thinking deeply about something, his shoulders were slump and, contrary to his smooth expression, one of his hands was clenched into a tight fist on the table. It bothered me to see him like that. I didn't want him to be worried about anything. I wanted to see him smile, to know that he was happy and nothing was worrying him. This time,_ I_ wanted to be the one to ease his pain.

But I couldn't actually ask him anything right now, not with everyone so close. And so I waited, thinking only about him. It took my mind off of everything else but I really didn't mind.

It was when someone shook my shoulder lightly that I looked up from my lap for the second time.

"Aren't you gonna eat anything?" Max said, motioning towards my empty plate.

"Um…"I started, "I'm not really hungry."

"Why not?"

Maybe because my obsessed stalker, who just won't let me be, is here in this very building. Maybe because he knows where my room is and there are slight chances that he might sneak up in my bedroom and do GODKNOWSWHAT. Maybe because just a while ago–as if he wasn't already disturbing my sleep, as if he wasn't already creeping me out—I had a very unusual encounter with him…alone. Maybe because I'm madly in love with your best friend and I'm not even sure he feels the same way. Maybe because he just gave me a meaningful look whose meaning is a secret that only he and God share. Maybe because there is a possibility that he might know about my secret which is bad because once the guy found out, he could actually hurt you guys.

Maybe because this was a very big list of "All the Possible Reasons Why I'm Not Hungry".

"I already ate." I lied but he seemed to have been buying it. He looked away and continued eating. Kai, however, looked up at me instantly, almost as if I had called him, and gave me a wary look. Feeling awkward, I looked away.

I waited patiently for the guys to finish eating while I turned around and anxiously looked around the room. Mariah waved at me from her table and I smiled and waved back. Lee, who turned when he saw Mariah wave, smiled politely at me and from the table right next to them, I caught sight of Tala looking at me blankly. I searched the room, seeing many people except this certain one I was looking for.

Confused, I hesitantly turned back. We left the lunch-room when the guys finished and while I walked silently behind them as they headed for the training room, Kai suddenly came up beside me.

"Hillary?"

I looked up at him and realized that he was still worried.

"Hey." I mumbled, looking away from him and at the guys. They were having some conversation and seemed to be unaware of us whispering to each other right behind them.

"How are you feeling?" Kai asked, angling slightly towards me. I dug my hands in my pocket nervously before answering him.

"Thanks…" I whispered, "…for last night. I'm sorry for snapping at you like that, though."

For a while, he was quiet. It felt as if he wanted to say something so I waited.

"It's okay, but…" He looked ahead of him, checking whether the guys were looking or not, probably. "I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

He turned back towards me, his eyes wary now. His pace slowed and then, came to an abrupt stop. The guys had already entered the training room I hadn't realized we had reached. He reached out for my hand and led me down the hallway till we reached our suite. Kai closed the door and turned to look at me with a rather worried look on his face.

He sighed, his hand still on the door handle.

"Do you know anyone named Drew?"

OOOOO

_I just wanna say that in the last chapter, there were two separate scenes. I drew a margin above the part where I wrote Hillary's nightmare, so that was a separate scene that took place a week after the one in the plane. I don't know why the stupid margin didn't appear! None of the lines I add ever do…can someone tell me how to separate two different scenes please? I'd really appreciate that…_

_Anyway, hope you liked the chapter. It was kinda boring, I know but, it was essential to write too so…yeah. But do review to let me know what you thought about it, alright?_

_The next chapter (or the next-next) could be the one where Kai and Hillary get together (I'm excited too…__) so do let me know any ideas you might have about how to get them together cuz I have none…_


	10. The Beginning of the End

_Hey, everyone! Sorry for such a delayed chapter. My exams were going on. Anyway, I just wanna warn you that Kai is a bit OOC in this chapter. I really didn't want him to be but, what can I do? I wanted another stupid scene…_=P

_And, I'm sorry to say that I won't be making Kai and Hillary get together any soon. I seriously had no ideas about how I should do so, someone did give me one but it was just too late as I had already come up with some other plan that didn't involve them getting together to keep the story going. So sorry for any disappointments but, you know, the story'll be more interesting if both of them fight and there are some misunderstandings between the two before they finally sort things out and get together so…you won't be too disappointed. Actually, you'll be sorta relieved that I didn't get them together…_

_Anyway, just as the title says, here's the beginning of the fight…_

**Chapter 10: The Beginning of the End…**

And who was I to think that I could ever keep a secret as big as this? They were bound to find out, weren't they? What would I have said to them then? I couldn't have kept this a secret forever. Especially not from Kai…

"I do." I pretended that I wasn't afraid of answering his question, trying to keep a straight, emotionless face. It seemed to have been working. Kai's wary expression changed. His brows, which were furrowed, relaxed and he let out a small sigh.

I wasn't ready for his next questions but, of course, he couldn't tell that. But he was silent for a while, looking at me in the eye with something I recognized as confusion.

"There's something…"Kai hesitated, looking for the right word. "…_off_ about him."

And then I felt relief so huge, I thought I was floating. Kai didn't know anything. He hadn't found out the truth about me and Drew. I was just jumping to conclusions. He was just talking about him _in general_. Instantly, my heartbeat, which had increased, became normal again and I couldn't help the small smile that crept across my face.

"You noticed, too?" I asked him, covering up my smile.

"Yeah." He said, not seeming to notice anything unusual about my expressions. He walked towards me and stopped only when he was a few inches away. "Hillary, I want you to stay away from him."

Although I pretty much did that all the time, I didn't point it out. I noticed that he looked sort of anxious.

"Why, what happened?" Something seemed to have happened.

His lips turned into a frown and his eyes were all of sudden fierce. Reflexively, I took a small step backwards.

"It was him." He said in a whisper. "He challenged me to a match last night and…"

He trailed off but I knew exactly what he was gonna say.

"I won but he damaged Dranzer to bits." Kai continued with a sour expression. "Even Kenny is finding it hard to fix it."

Suddenly, I was angry.

"He did that on _purpose_!"

"The Dynasties." Kai said, ignoring my suddenly angry response. "It's his team. They're up against us this week, that's why he did that last night."

I took a deep breath, trying to control my surging anger. The Dynasties? That was _Drew's_ team? And we were gonna oppose them _this _week? It seemed too much of bad luck on my behalf.

"That's not fair." I replied in a low voice but it rose when I spoke the next sentence. "Kai, why'd you battle him?"

Yeah, I was panicking now. I felt my legs shake beneath me as I realized something.

"Hillary, stop that." Kai inched slowly closer before grabbing my wrist in his hand.

"What if tries to do the same to the others?" I asked, looking up at him. "Kai, what if he succeeds? He's trying to mess with your chances of wining—"

"Hillary!" He said nervously, inching so close that it intimidated me a bit. "Don't panic, alright? It'll be okay."

"You can't say that!"

"Hillary, listen!"

He grabbed both my arms before I realized it and almost just as swiftly, he pulled me so close that his breath mingled with my ragged gasps.

"Stop stressing out, okay?" He whispered gaily, tightening his hold on my arms. I clenched my fists, trying to control the panic I was feeling and failing miserably.

"Why'd you _do _that, Kai?" I asked, blinking a little when I looked into his eyes. There was something there that confused me. He was hiding something again. Suddenly, his expression changed into an angry one and his voice rose just as suddenly as mine had.

"I had no choice." The sudden fierceness startled me and it didn't help that he was standing so near. But I wasn't gonna fall back and let him talk to me like that.

"You could've turned him down!"

"I couldn't!"

"And why not?" I squinted my eyes at him in suspicion. "If this is about your stupid pride of not wanting to turn down challenges, then I hope you're happy!"

"Ugh! Listen to me, okay?"

I looked angrily at him and he looked back at me directly in the eye. That was when I realized that I didn't like what I saw there…questions. Questions _I_ would have to answer. Instantly, my anger evaporated and turned into anxiety.

"Do you think I'm so stupid that I would accept random challenges from strangers just a few days before the preliminaries?" His voice was firm but I could easily read the hidden tone in it; it reflected clearly in his expression.

"I'm sorry, Kai." I apologized immediately when I got the chance. It felt as if something bad was coming. "I'm just…freaked out."

He let go of my right arm only to angle closer and grab my waist. He was so close…his lilac sense took over my senses again, his skin was warm as compared to mine but it felt nice when he grabbed my wrist with the other hand again.

"Stop it, then." He said softly. "And stop making me feel bad, Hillary. I really had no choice."

"I'm so sorry, Kai." I whispered guiltily.

He nodded slowly before smiling a little at me. I sighed a little and, for a while, it was quiet. Then…

"I refused when he challenged me but then…" He said, summing up what seemed like a longer tale. Then there was that questioning expression again in his eyes as he looked anxiously down at me. "He told me that if I didn't battle him, he'd do something that would make me regret that decision."

I waited for him to continue…he didn't. Instead, he just closed his eyes and leaned into me, pulling me against him by the waist. I was too surprised to respond but that didn't seem to have been bothering him. I felt his cool breath against my forehead and in my hair and my heartbeat shifted to fourth gear directly from the first.

"Hillary…"His voice was just barely above a whisper but it triggered a reaction I had never felt personally before; lust. I had been wanting to touch him for a while now but that was just out of either curiosity or plain and simple desire. What I felt now was to just hold him and to never let go…to feel the touch of _his_ fingers within mine, to know that he felt the same way, to know that he, too, wanted to hold me close and never let go…to know that he wanted me just as I wanted him.

And I was happy. In my head, everything vanished and then replaced by one, dominating thought: Kai _likes _me. And not in the friendly-way but as more than a friend. It was just his proximity, the way he touched me so freely…you don't do that to a friend, especially if she's a girl.

"What, Kai?" I asked in a whisper. As much as I wanted to just let him hold me like that till he said what I wanted to hear, I could tell that he had something important on his mind. I couldn't just let myself be distracted like this by my desires, could I?

He pulled back a little till he could look me in the eye.

"He told me he'd hurt you, Hillary."

And I just stared at him in shock. Drew was _deliberately _dragging me in. DELIBERATELY.

"Me?" I pretended to be surprised, which wasn't hard cuz I already was.

"I wanted to ask you why he did that."

"_You_ tell me!" I tried to keep up the false pretense.

"Why'd he say he'd hurt you? Why were you involved?"

"How am_ I_ supposed to know?"

He sighed. I struggled against his hold on my waist, trying to break free. I only managed to take a few small steps backwards, though and Kai just closed the practically unnoticed gap by stepping towards me again. I was now beginning to see that he was just trying to make me feel intimidated so that he could get his answers. Disappointing…

"How'd you know him?" He asked once again, looking down at me with intensity.

"I don't _know_ him, Kai. I just know what his name is and what he looks like."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at me, looking through my lie.

"Look, Kai." I attempted to explain. "I'm the only girl in the team and he probably thought you'd feel more protective of me or something when he said that."

For a while, he was quiet, staring at me with yet the same intensity as before. Then, slowly he let go of my arms and stepped back a few steps.

"I don't even know why I try, Hillary." He said through clenched teeth. "You're never ready to tell me anything I want to know."

His eyes held a sorrowful expression and immediately, I began to feel guilty.

"Kai, please!" I practically begged, walking a few steps towards him. He imitated my strides, though, walking backwards and almost turned around when I pleaded again. "Please, don't be mad, Kai."

He turned his back on me and just as he did so, I wanted to cry. He couldn't be mad at me, he just couldn't.

"Kai, I _really_ want to tell you but I can't!"  
"Don't give me that excuse, Hillary." His voice was calm, which made it all the more threatening.

"Kai, please, _try_ to understand. I-" I hesitated, looking for the right words to replace the former. "I can't do this…_please_."

But he didn't listen. Calmly, he walked towards the door, opened it and walked out before closing it silently behind him, leaving me to myself.

OOOO

"…and the match will start in just a few minutes."

We sat at the bleachers near the dish, waiting for our opponents to arrive. I looked anxiously up at the benches where millions of faces watched us, waiting for the match to begin. Yeah, we were here for the preliminaries and here were the rules…

There was gonna be a group of four teams that were to compete against one another. In our case, the three (excluding the Blade Breakers) were _The Majestics_, _The All Starz _and _The Dynasties_. We were to battle each team only once, that is, Max will get to battle The All Starz, Tyson gets to battle the Majestics and Ray gets to battle the Dynasties. The two teams with the highest score will be the only ones who'd make it…

So it was pretty tense as we waited for our first battle. Who was it gonna be that'll have to leave? The Majestics? The All Starz? Or maybe even us? One of the three will be leaving today…

I watched nervously as Drew's team made their way in the arena and stood in the farthest corner. I couldn't help the shiver than ran down my spine as I noticed their somewhat smug expression. Immediately, I looked away and back at the arena entrance again…

What was taking them so long? Neither the All Starz nor the Majestics had arrived…the match was to start a while ago. I looked nervously around at the impatient looking announcer and the judges. The crowd was whispering amongst each other, wondering out loud what might have caused such an unexpected delay.

"What's taking them so long?" Max, who was the most impatient of all, stopped pacing and exasperatedly voiced his thoughts.

I didn't say anything to that. Somehow, I had a bad feeling about this. I just watched as, helplessly, Max continued pacing in front of the bleachers where I sat along with Kenny and Tyson. We sat, waiting for what seemed like hours but were only a few minutes.

Then, a man in the BBA uniform came up to the announcer, Tyler, and whispered something in his ear. What seemed like shock passed Tyler's face and I noticed the tension in the environment build up. The crowd went quiet. Max stopped pacing right in front of me and looked anxiously around.

"Ahem." Tyler said, though he didn't need to. Everyone was already so alert. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the Majestics enter the stadium and stand across Drew's team.

"There has been an unexpected…news." Tyler continued, looking nervously over his shoulder at the judges, then back at the crowd again. "I'm sorry to say that you won't be seeing the All Starz in action today. They forfeited."

There was silence in the whole stadium as everyone contemplated the new piece of news. _Forfeited? Forfeited? _

"Apparently, one of their teammates is in the hospital due to some severe injury." Tyler answered our unasked question and just as soon as he did, I saw Max shift nervously in front of me, a look of horror clear on his face.

"We're going to start without them, so…can the Majestics come over here, please?"

What the hell was going on? They _quit_?

"Max?" I stood up to stand beside him. He looked up at me with a fake smile and I threw him a fake smile, too. "Don't be too disappointed."

"I've been preparing for this for so long…"He whispered. It was just the fact that he wanted to battle his friends so badly that seemed to have been upsetting him? Wasn't he worried at all that one of his friends was hurt?

"Do you think something bad happened?" I asked just as the announcer called out for our team.

"I sure hope not…" Max trailed off, a look of fresh worry crossed his face. He looked behind me at the rest of the team, who were, I just noticed, looking directly at the both of us.

I said nothing, nor did I respond to their meaningful gazes. I took a seat beside Kenny and waited for the match to start.

"Blade Breakers?" Tyler called out again, sounding impatient. And then, Tyson, Max and Ray left for their matches. Kai, who wasn't gonna battle today, took a seat just next to me…

Okay…awkward…

Ugh, ever since our last _talk_, we hadn't spoken to each other at all. I had thought about apologizing quite a few times but then, what was I supposed to apologize for anyway? So, things had been a little uncomfortable in the last two days. He never really looked at me, he pretended like I wasn't even there. It actually bothered me, no need to say that though. Why couldn't he appreciate my personal space? If I didn't want to talk about my problems, he couldn't actually force me to do so, now could he? He had no right to.

I shifted uncomfortably on the seat, angling slightly towards the left where Kenny sat.

All of these situations…it seemed my problems were growing instead of just coming to an end. It was really stressing me out. I hadn't even been able to sleep right what with all these things bothering me so much. There was Drew, as if he wasn't enough to worry about. Everyday I would catch him staring at our table with an impatient gaze. Then, I still hadn't figured out what were the reasons for his unusual behavior a few days ago. And then there were these strange nightmares that kept waking me up at night. Sometimes, I couldn't quite remember why I'd wake up in the middle of the night many times, covered in sweat. A few times, I'd remember seeing ridiculous dreams about crying somewhere…one was about running from something again…The stress was really starting to affect me mentally now.

As if that wasn't enough, the tournament was about to get tough. Even Tyson was worried now that the semi-finals were this close. Everyone had started training now…it starts to affect you, you know, when everyone else is so stressed out about something.

And seriously, the last thing I needed was for Kai, of all people, to be so mad at me. It wasn't the fact that I was crushing on him that stressed me out now that he wasn't talking to me, it was just that I really had started to rely on him. You know the feeling you get when you just want to die, then someone comes to your mind and you just want to live and keep thinking of that person and all the things that had or will happen between you two?…okay, so it _was_ just because I was crushing on him…

I just wish he'd talk to me…I'd love to hear his voice now. I really _needed_ to hear it. I didn't know why but what I felt for him was kinda different than anything I had experienced before. It wasn't that I liked him because he was so good-looking. It sounded cliché but I really didn't care. It was just like adding a cherry on top of an already-delicious cake. His good looks, that is. It didn't matter whether there was a cherry on top or not, considering that it just added to what I was already attracted to.

It was a stupid example, but that was just it. I was addicted to him. I would love to hear his voice, not because it was nice and I would love to see his face, not because it was absolutely perfect, but because both of them were a part of him and I really liked him. It kinda made me happy to have him near, and not just physically, and I really needed the feeling right now.

And now that my personal aid was no longer speaking to me, it just stressed me out all the more. I sighed, pushing some air into my lungs and dragged myself into reality. Tyson was ready to launch his blade and so was Robert…

OOOO

_Gosh, FINALLY! All done! Feel free to share your opinions…_

_PS: I forgot to say that I had edited the 1__st__ chapter a few weeks ago. I took out the school-part cuz I really couldn't make anything of it for the story. So, I won't add that in the story like I had planned to._


	11. She's not doing okay

_**Hey! So I hope everyone's doing okay. I haven't uploaded in, like, almost six months…I apologize for the delay, my finals ended just two weeks back and I've FINALLY found the time to catch up on my stories and write more….I hope everyone would still wanna read it…..**_

_**Chapter 10: She's not doing okay…again**_

"How is she?" I asked, walking towards Max as he exited the room. We were in the hospital, where Emily was being looked after, after that attack last week. Max had been visiting her continuously, and today, I had decided to tag along. I had left the room though, when I noticed that they wanted to be alone. Apparently, they had a thing going on. How nice….

"They say they'll let her out tomorrow." He replied, looking slightly flushed….and kinda happy.

"So, did you kiss her?" I asked Max teasingly as he pocketed his hands. I smiled a little when Max looked away and walked ahead of me. I caught up to him immediately. "Don't pretend. You were _all_ over her."

"I like her." Max admitted a little while later, when we reached outside the hospital and into the parking lot. He looked down, hiding the blush across his face as I motioned for a cab to stop and pick us up.

"Don't be embarrassed." I said, getting into the cab. "I think you're very sweet. And Emily would be lucky to have you."

"Thanks." He replied, his face still red.

I looked out the window as he seated himself, my thoughts shifting to less pleasant avenues as soon as the cab started. Like how I knew what had happened to Emily, how it had happened, who had done it, and how it was _my _fault.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

I sat at the table, silently picking on my food. The buzz in the cafeteria had silenced, what with the large amount of teams that had left. _The All Starz_ had forfeited, due to Emily's injuries, _The Majestics_ had lost to us last week and had been sent home the next day. Many other teams had lost, including Ozuma's, and the only ones now left were _The White Tigers_, the_ Blitzkrieg Boys_, the_ Dynasties _and _The Blade Breakers_.

I looked up, searching for someone in particular across the only four crowded tables. Tala, once again, was looking blankly at me. I ignored him, I didn't get that guy. It was the third time I had caught him looking at me this week. I idly wondered why. Did he know that I was hiding something? Had Kai told him? It bothered me a little. His gaze made me feel uncomfortable. I sniffed a little at the thought, praying that he didn't know, before looking back down at my plate again. I picked some more at the noodles, and unconsciously rolled them around my fork before taking a bite.

"Hillary?"

I looked up at Tyson, when he said my name and tensed a little when I saw his worried expression.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, leaning over at me from across the table, looking straight at my face. I felt nervous all of a sudden, cuz everyone was now looking over at me. Well, everyone except Kai, that is, who just glanced once and looked back down at his plate.

"No." I said in a very low voice, looking down at my food, feeling embarrassed. I didn't like attention and I wish they'd just turn away.

"You've been kind of upset lately, Hils." Max said. "Like you were back at the dojo."

I stiffened, as Max spoke more.

"You were okay for a little while, but we can tell you're worried again."

I didn't look up, knowing that everyone was still looking at me, and I didn't reply either. But then again., even if I wanted to, what could I have said?

"Hillary, I know you're listening." It was Ray this time, and apparently, even he wasn't trying to be understanding. How helpful.

"I'd rather not talk about it." I finally replied, without looking up, but the discomfort in my voice was clear, even to me.

"Do you think you'll hide it forever?" Ray asked, sounding a little annoyed. "We're gonna find out someday, you know."

"I said," I replied, speaking through almost clenched teeth, "I don't wanna _talk_ about this."

"So what do you wanna do?" I jerked my head upwards to look angrily at Tyson, who looked almost as annoyed as I felt. "Hide from your problems like you're doing? Or do you wanna be mature and talk to someone about it?"

"I'm not _hiding_ from anything!" I stood up, hands on the table. Everyone was looking at me now, every team in the cafeteria, even the lunch lady, even _Kai_, but I didn't care. Why couldn't they mind their own stupid business, anyway?

"Yes, Hillary." Tyson continued in an angry voice, also standing up. "You _are_!"

I saw Max pulling on Tyson's shirt, tugging, motioning for him to sit back down but Tyson was ignoring him, just as I was trying to ignore everything everyone was saying. They didn't know what they were talking about. They didn't know how I felt. I had come _so_ close at telling everyone everything but I couldn't. I just _couldn't_. I wanted them to know, I wanted them to help me, I wanted to make things right but it was too late now. They couldn't do anything about Drew now.

"You don't understand anything!" I yelled at Tyson, ignoring how glum I suddenly had started to feel. Being angry was better than being sad, yelling made me feel better. It was awful but I couldn't help it. I've been quiet about everything for so long, so many emotions, fear, disappointment, gloom, anger, guilt, stress, panic, regret….I'd kept them all bottled up inside, no-one knew how I felt, no-one understood anything. It just made me madder that they were expecting me to tell them every single thing I felt; and I had every right to be mad.

"I _would_ if you just tell me!"

"Why don't you mind you own business?"

"I _am_!"He replied, raising his voice so that it echoed. Everything was quiet and I wished we'd stop yelling before Tyson said something that told everyone else how I was feeling. I didn't mind anyone…but Drew was in the room. I didn't want to satisfy him. "You're so stressed out all the time—"

There. I could practically imagine the look of relief and satisfaction on Drew's face, but I didn't turn to look.

"Don't you know how it makes us feel?" His voice lowered, but only by a little bit.

"Oh, so it's about _you_, I guess. Isn't it?" But he continued as if he didn't hear me at all.

"—We should be worrying about the tournament, but you keep distracting us!"

A few gasps echoed around in the cafeteria, and I tried to breath….in, out…in, out. He did _not_ just say that. _I_ had been distracting them? _I_ had been _distracting_ them? _Me_? What…what a …shock? I didn't even know what to feel. All throughout the room, I could feel eyes upon me, waiting for me to react, waiting for me to say something. But, for the first time, I was at loss, I didn't know what to say. I wanted to cry, to tell you the truth. All this time, the partial reason I had avoided telling them the truth was because I knew they'd be distracted, I didn't want to burden them with my problems when they had enough on their plate as it was. But apparently, I should've _told _them my problems so that they might not get distracted. How convenient. Wish they'd told me sooner. Which just takes me back to the start, he didn't know what he was talking about. He still didn't understand.

But that didn't justify what he had said.

"You're an _ass_, Tyson." Someone –Spencer?—spoke in a loud, clear voice but I ignored him.

"Well," I started, blinking a little and grabbing my plate off the table, "I'm _sorry_ that I got you worried, Tyson."

My voice rose, and I felt like hitting him. My pulse increased…I wanted to run away from the room. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be away from him, away from everything and everyone that reminded me of what I felt, of where I was wrong….

"I'm sorry that I've got problems. I'm sorry that I can't tell you. I'm sorry that you feel the need to invade into my personal space to get to know them. I'm sorry that you can't concentrate on the tournament cuz I've not been myself lately, and I am really, very sorry that you're so worried, Tyson, but…"

I was loosing it, I could tell. My voice was breaking and….I'd exit the room from the back, I decided, where less people would see me.

"…but, I think it's _your_ problem. I've got enough on my mind without worrying about what you guys feel, Tyson. Enough is enough, and frankly, I don't even care."

There, that was a calm answer, but that didn't mean I felt calm. I immediately turned around and dumped my tray of food at an empty table before exiting the room. I didn't look at anyone, but that was probably cuz I didn't want anyone to look at me. I know it was wrong, but I wish he was more worried. Cuz, he'd made me break down again.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

For the first time that week, I lay down on my bed, locked the door and cried. I thought I was getting better, not that I was expecting things to turn up but I was handling things very calmly, like I was getting better at keeping my stress levels in check. So much for that….

There was this feeling of hopelessness again, like the way I feel every night after I wake up from yet another disturbing dream. But this time, it was worse, this time there was this nagging feeling…guilt?...that accompanied the eerie hopelessness. Cuz I knew, that some of it, if not all, was my fault. I suddenly flashed back to the time when I was in the plain with Kai again. What had I thought? Yeah, like everything that had happened ever since I got here, even _before_ that, everything that was my fault, and everything that wasn't, everywhere I had gone wrong over and over again, and everyone I had hurt….just everything that made me feel like I was trapped in this uncanny terrain of emotions, was stacked up in a pile, teasing me and taunting me, rubbing it in my face that I'd never escape it.

I had to do something. Drew had hurt Emily, I couldn't prove it, but I just knew, from the way he smiled when they announced that the _All Starz_ had forfeited…it was as if he was satisfied, kinda content that they had. And when I asked Emily that day, if she had seen what had happened, she just said that she was forced into a battle, and that had seriously damaged her blade and while she was trying to stop her opponents blade from causing any more damage, his bit beast had attacked her. And just like that, she'd ended up at the hospital, seriously wounded.

I couldn't help wonder that that was _exactly_ what had happened to Kai, hadn't it? Sans that being injured part. He was _forced_ into a battle, causing his blade to be brutally damaged, and it was just his luck that he hadn't tried to stop Dranzer…cuz I couldn't even imagine what would've happened if he had. I couldn't bear with the thought of Kai getting hurt in any way.

Wasn't it the same, though? I _knew_ Drew was up to something, I _knew_ he had attacked Kai, I _knew_ and I didn't tell. Why? And I _still_ had no intentions of telling anyone, anything. Not that they needed to. I mean, Kai had wasted no time in telling the guys about his encounter with Drew and how he thought, like I was thinking, that it was somehow connected with Emily's story. But I knew before-hand, how severe steps that guy would take to get what he wanted. Yesterday, it was me…today, it was something else entirely. Not that he'd forgotten me. I'd seen him smiling at me twice when he thought no-one was looking. But that was it. Should it bother me?

I just wished I would've caught up to what he was doing, and warned everyone before Emily got hurt. I wished I had _tried_ to put the two and two together…I mean, I knew what Drew was like…I knew what he could do. _Why_ hadn't I thought about it, anyway?

I turned over in my bed, thinking. Why was I so stressed out? Laying things out like I had right now, that Drew thing, I felt as if there was _nothing_ wrong. Seriously, I was completely out of the picture now. Why should I even care what he did to anyone else, as long as he was away from me? I mean, it wasn't as if no-one knew that he wasn't to be trusted. And everyone was keeping their distance….so why should I even care about anything that was related to him, when everyone was keeping an eye on him anyway?

I know it was very stupid of me to feel this way, but I wasn't entirely sure he had given up. By now, it was apparent that he intended to win the competition, fairly or not, and he was doing everything to get people out of the way, like he had tried with Kai (luckily, we had a replacement for him) and Emily (unfortunately, the _All Starz_ only had three players, so with Em gone, they had to forfeit). And I constantly felt as if he was up to something. I know I could be just paranoid, but this feeling, that something bad was going to happen, was what was stressing me out.

And then there were my so-called friends….I didn't even wanna think about it. Why couldn't they respect my privacy? I didn't go around asking _them_ what they had for dinner, or what they thought about last month on the plane. I hadn't pushed Max into telling me what he and Emily talked about, or did when he visited her. They must do SOMETHING, I mean, he visits her EVERY day. And I hadn't gone asking Ray what he felt about Mariah, let alone about what they were doing when I had walked in on them in the gym last week. I had seen something, definitely, but had I pushed Ray about it? Had I told everyone about it? Had I gone asking him every chance I got what he was feeling about Mariah, or every time I caught him thinking, did I ask him if he was thinking of Mariah? Had I ever done any of those things? Had I ever told _them_ what to do? Of course I hadn't. So why, I might ask, were they telling _me_ what to do?

And don't even get me started about Kai, I was so angry at him…I thought he liked me, I thought he wanted to help me. Where the hell was he when I needed a hug the most? Where the hell was he when everything was more than just wrong, double than it had been last week, or before? Where was he when I needed to smell his lilac fragrance, and feel his skin upon mine? I was angry at him, and at the same time, I wanted him here, holding me.

I silently cursed myself for feeling this way everyday…

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_**Hey, so tell me what you thought. I know the chapter seemed pointless, but for once, I'm not gonna argue cuz I'm flat out of ideas. It's been six months and I've yet to catch up with my stories.**_

_**So feel free to give me ideas…in fact, I URGE you guys to give me ideas, cuz I've really forgotten what I had had planned and there are holes in the story that I just can't seem to cover up….I would've made the chapter longer by writing the next scene but I thought it'd be better if I get more ideas and then write more….**_

_**Drop a review and let me know how it was, kay? The next chapter is where I'm planning another encounter with Drew, plus, a Kai/Hil scene…**_


	12. Me And My Knack For Getting into Trouble

_**Chapter 12: Me and my knack for getting into trouble**_

I stood impatiently at the bleachers, looking from the crowd to the judges, then to the guys, then to our opponents, then to the other teams…everything was getting more anxious by the second and when I looked over at Tyson, all I could do was marvel over his ability to eat at a time like this. We weren't exactly on speaking terms ever since that incident in the cafeteria, so I didn't say anything. He could do anything he wanted, I wasn't his mother.

I think I was doing pretty well, though. I was standing there, looking calm (even though that was the last thing I felt) but I guess I was getting a little better at hiding what I was feeling, hopefully. Cuz the thing was, that I was tired and I was sleepy, but I was glad that the nerves were doing their job in keeping me awake.

"Maybe you shouldn't eat too much, Tyson." I heard Max say, and looked behind to see Tyson opening a large-sized Cheetoh pack he had brought with himself.

"Don't tell me what to do, Max." Tyson, being a pig that he was, snapped back at Max before filling his mouth with a handful of the chips. Max sighed loudly, a little exasperatedly before turning to the crowd, where I am sure he was searching for this red-headed girl.

"Alright everyone!" Tyler spoke into his mic so suddenly that it startled me. I sat down on the benches, just next to Kenny. "Settle down, settle down."

When the crowd hushed, Tyler continued.

"So, yesterday was a shocker wasn't it? I mean, who would've thought that The White Tigers, who've been so consistent this year, would leave?"

The crowd made some noise as they were reminded of the news. It was true, yesterday was the first semi-final match between Gary's and Drew's team. As much as I hated to admit it, but Drew's team really had put up a fight, and when they won the tie breaker, everyone had been more than just disappointed. All of us had gone to their suite to talk about, and everyone was so upset. The guys had wanted there to be a match between us and the White Tigers in the finals.

"They're sitting there, in the crowd, right now." Kenny pointed out, motioning towards a familiar group of people who were waving over at us. I smiled as they gave us a thumbs-up.

"But the Dynasties did great and, congrats to them." Tyler continued, smiling and looking over at the Blitzkrieg Boys, who were our opponents today. When I looked over at them as they calmly leaned against the wall, or sat at the benches with such serious faces, I shuddered inwardly. I, among many other people, knew how deadly they could get in a battle.

"So, we're gathered here today, for the second semi-final between the Blade Breakers," Tyler motioned towards us, before turning towards Tala's team again. "And the Blitzkrieg Boys."

He waited for the crowd, who had gone wild with excitement, to quiet down before continuing.

"So, could the players of both the teams, step out?"

Tyson got up, smiling smugly as he did, and walked over to the bey-stadium. Tala, who was standing ahead of everyone else, looked back at Ian, and nodded. Ian, with his uncanny appearance, looked more menacing than usual wearing that cold, serious-looking mask. When he walked over to stand in front of Tyson, I fought the urge to shudder again, and wondered how Tyson was taking the pressure….cuz, honestly, I felt like I would puke. But as angry as I was at Tyson, I trusted him enough to know that he'd give his best. I just hoped his best was enough.

I clutched anxiously at the seat and bit my lips, as I watched both of them ready their launchers. When the countdown began, the crowd went silent, as it usually did and I tensed a little bit more. It was the semi final….this match would take the guys to the finals…if they could just win two matches…..

"Let it rip!"

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

"And the winner is…."

It seemed as if everything was immobilized, and everyone paused as they held their breath, waiting for the smoke to clear, so that they could see what had happened, to see who lasted….Tala or Kai.

It seemed to take on forever, and I could barely breathe properly…I just wished it would end soon, both of them could barely stand as it was. They were looking at each other, just waiting, as they gasped for breath, for the fog to clear….then suddenly, Tala smiled.

I watched with horror as he smiled, my heart beating so loudly against my chest, and my knees suddenly started to feel week. It couldn't be….

Kai, who was a little hunched, with his hands resting on his knees, straightened up just a little before I heard it; a low, metallic sound…sort of like a ripping noise, and before we knew it, something flew out of the bey-dish and squarely hit the wall opposite to the judges, and a blue-colored blade, appeared tearing out of the thick mist, landed firmly on the marble corners of the dish.

It took a while for everyone to fill in what had happened, and when the news finally set in I could swear I would've gone deaf at the noise.

"KAI!" Tyler announced unnecessarily, but no-one could hear him anyway. I smiled at Tyson as he literally shot up in the air with happiness, at Max who joined Tyson just a second later and couldn't help but laugh a little as they went over to hug Kai. Of course Kai just gave them a look, but did they care? No, cuz right then, they were in the finals and that was all that mattered. And for once, in weeks, I felt happiness this great. I was so proud of everyone.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

Even though we had won, the first place we had gone to was the hospital, cuz Kai had a couple of cuts that were bleeding, and he said he was feeling a little lightheaded. So, there we were celebrating our victory by eating a large-sized pepperoni Pizza, (with extra mustard, courtesy of Max) and drinking Pepsi while watching Kai get bandaged up. How joyous…

"I hope you get better soon, Kai." The nurse said, smiling at Kai who, even though was looking at his bandaged arm, seemed like was smiling back. At least, that's what I thought, cuz his face was turned up around the corners. I wanted to believe that Kai was smiling at his victory over Tala, but the way that nurse was flirting, I found that hard to believe….even the others were finding it hard to not crack up at her.

And even though I knew she was doing the most useless thing she's ever done (useless, cuz there was no use flirting with the great Kai Hiwatari) I felt this pang of jealousy, which I know was very stupid and immature of me, but ONLY GOD can control how and what I feel anymore, heavens know that. Maybe it was because, I had been the only girl up till now that Kai's really opened up to so much, the only one who he smiles at…and he had stopped doing that, smiling at me that is, and I guess it kinda bothered me that the reason he was smiling was someone he barely knew.

When the nurse left the room, everyone just burst out laughing, even Kenny. I just smiled a bit and shook my head before sitting down on a chair with a bottle of my drink. Now that the adrenaline and all the nerves were gone, I was starting to feel sleepy and tired again.

"She was _all_ over you, Kai." Tyson said, finishing the last remnants of his drink.

"I just wish," Kenny said, swallowing a bite of his Pizza, "that I was that attractive to woman as you are."

"Thanks." I heard Kai reply, but I wasn't looking at him at all to see how sarcastic his expression was.

Everything in the room was quiet suddenly, and as I unconsciously picked at the straw as I tried to ignore the awkwardness. It kinda struck me that I wasn't on speaking terms with neither Tyson nor Kai, and I'd have to speak to them eventually to congratulate them but I tried to not let that bother me. What would I say to them, anyway? Would they hear me out? Would they still wanna talk to me? They'd probably listen and then ignore what I had said.

"So," I heard Ray say after coughing a little and I looked up. "Congrats Kai, Tyson….both of you did a great job."

"Especially you, Kai." Max said, smiling as he playfully punched Kai's shoulders. "Though, you almost gave us a heart attack at the very end."

"But it was a great match." Said Kenny, "I'm sure you enjoyed it."

"I hope we can do the same in the finals," Tyson suddenly looked serious again. For a while, everything was quiet again, a little less awkward but a little more serious. Everyone took in the news that next time they had to battle the Dynasties, which was a very strong team by the looks of it. I didn't want to think about it, about anything….Why couldn't I be happy for a change?

I sulked a little more in my chair. Maybe I just needed to sleep.

"Aren't you happy for us, Hils?" I looked up immediately, when Tyson said my name. He was looking at me with this hesitant expression.

"I am," I spoke for the first time that day, noticing only then how tired I really sounded, and how my voice was kinda quieter than it usually was. "Of course, I am."

It wasn't helping that everyone was looking at me now, even Kai. Didn't they realize how I had grown to feel uncomfortable at so much attention?

"Well, why aren't you _saying_ something?"

I was offended. What was he pointing at, anyway? Did I really have to say something all the time? But then again, he was talking to me, wasn't he? Tyson, I mean. He was addressing me; which meant that he probably wanted to forget about everything that had happened that day, didn't he? I was determined not to mess things up anymore than they were.

"I'm just tired, Tyson." I replied, getting up from my seat. Everyone's eyes followed my movement, and I wished they'd just turn away. "I haven't had much sleep lately."

"But," I continued, cutting Tyson off as he started to speak. "I'm so proud of you guys. You did a great job today."

I saw Tyson smile smugly again, the same way he had when he was called for the match, before I turned towards Kai.

"You, too, Kai." I smiled at him, but he never returned it. He just gave me this calculating look so I turned away immediately, and towards the door. Suddenly, I wanted to leave the room.

"Would you guys mind if I leave?" I asked, looking back at them. I wanted to get away from them, away from their strange gazes and over-concerned behavior, away from their judgmental assumptions about what I should say, or shouldn't, away from their opinions about my actions or words.

They looked at me disapprovingly, and I noticed the frown Tyson was giving. What was _wrong_ with me, anyway? Leave it to me to make them frown on one of their best days.

"I'm sorry," I said defensively, "I didn't mean it that way. I'm just tired. Hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," Ray sighed and Tyson exchanged a long, meaningful glance with Kai, who I couldn't see cuz my back was towards him.

"I'll be in my room." I turned away from them before I had to look at any more disappointed faces anymore, and left the room without saying anything else.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

"…just fix it in, like this."

There was a soft sound that I recognized as metallic, and I turned to look behind my back to see if anyone else other than me was here. I know it was wrong to eavesdrop in on a conversation, but I couldn't help it….cuz I had distinctively heard a very familiar mysterious tone in an equally familiar voice that I knew was Drew's. So, while half of my mind wanted to maintain that miles-away personal space I had with Drew, half of my mind wanted to see what he was up too. Cuz there really had been something suspicious about the tone in his voice.

And so, there I was, standing in a deserted hallway, that was barely even lit up if it weren't for the sunlight coming from the windows, but even that was dim. I wondered whether it was safe to stay here any longer, but then I heard his voice again.

"Okay." I was right. It _was_ Drew.

I looked around once more, before turning ever so slightly towards the right, from where I kept hearing the voices, careful so as to not make any sounds, and I saw him. He was wearing this red jacket that was visible, even in the dimly lit area. I positioned myself so that I was standing, just outside the slightly-ajar door to the room that he was in. From outside, I could see he was talking to someone. That person had his back towards me, but he was very huge, even taller than Drew and had these muscles that were bulging out from the tight shirt he was wearing. He was…kinda scary, I had to admit.

"So, when you launch your blade," the man spoke in his thick voice, "…let me show you."

There was slight shuffling as Drew looked for his launcher and fixed his blade in it. For a crazy second, I don't know why, he looked at the doorway where I was standing, almost as if he knew I was there but I thought I had turned away quickly enough…or I hope so…

I started panicking, now. He probably saw me, I should go. I should leave right now.

"So tell me, Jack." It was Drew's suddenly clear voice that stopped me in my tracks. "If I launch the blade, it'll tear _everything_ in it's way, won't it?"

Jack, the guy he was talking to, probably must've nodded because I didn't hear a voice except Drew's slightly self-satisfied, "Okay," that followed. I was panicking, thinking that he _knew_ someone was outside the door. But through the panic, I wondered…

_He's cheating!_ Was my first thought, and I didn't find it in me to argue to that….I had to do something.

I shuffled slightly from one foot to another as I heard Drew fix his blade into the launcher, and wondered again if it'd be better if I just leave. I had a bad feeling about this. Maybe if I walk fast pass the door and make a run for it, there was still a chance I'd get away.

I angled slightly towards the left, towards the way I had come from, maybe Drew wouldn't even notice. But I was just too late.

"NOW!"

I gasped as something sharp hit my shoulder when I tried to run, and immediately, I took a few steps back, holding a hand up to my bleeding wound. Drew's blade went gliding across the wall in front of me, indenting every inch of the wall it hit and then landing smoothly on the floor.

"Oh, crap." I whispered as it circled a little before returning to its owner, who was all of a sudden, standing just beside me, looking dark, menacing and angry.

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

_**So, what I'm gonna do is dare you guys to guess what'll happen next and tell me. I'm so excited to write the next chapter, it's gonna be….eventful, that's all I can say.**_

_**So, tell me what you guys think will happen next and …I know I shouldn't be saying this, but I've not been getting any responses lately, so reviews will be appreciated. I know how hard it is to actually write a review cuz I can't do so myself, but I'm not gonna bite….just tell me what you guys think, it's good, it's bad…let me know.**_

_**Thanks to all the readers for **_**still **_**reading my stories…R and R, please…:) **_


	13. What Happens Now?

_**Chapter 13: What happens now?**_

Petrified and paralyzed, I could only stare in horror as the blade flew towards Drew's outstretched hands. My hands were starting to sweat, and my heart was pounding so loudly in my ears that I could barely hear or make sense of anything. All I could think was that I had to run away, but I was trapped; behind me was where the hallway ended, in front of me, blocking my way, was Drew, smiling at me menacingly. He quirked his head sideways and pocketed his blade and I felt this sudden urge to punch him straight in the jaw.

"Well, looky," He spoke, and shivers ran down my spine at how cocky his voice actually sounded. I had to get out, if only I could get a chance to run away. Maybe if I pushed him… "It's Hillary."

Before I could react, someone blocked my sight of Drew and suddenly, I found myself being slammed against the wall so hard that it knocked the breath out of me. I couldn't help the tears that filled my eyes as my head hit the solid wall behind.

"Why do you have to take everything to violence, Jack?" Drew asked calmly, though he seemed annoyed. I squirmed under the tight grasp but the guy was well-built; it didn't make any difference. I regretted my hesitation to run in the first place when I had a chance because it seemed as if there was no escape now. Maybe if I scream…

"She knows!" Jack spat in my face, and I distinctively smelled alcohol. I couldn't help but cringe. His tan face was as deadly looking as his muscles were, and his eyes were almost slits; small, yellowish and unhealthy looking slits. When he had growled at me just now, I felt a strange sense of fear that even Drew had never made me feel…he could do loads worse than Drew could even imagine. He was suffocating me with his deadly tight hold; I didn't want to even think what more he could possibly do.

"Let her go." Drew replied nonchalantly, looking over from Jack, at me. "I'll make _sure _she doesn't tell."

The sureness in his voice petrified me.

Drew grabbed my upper arm in the most brutal hold and Jack let me go. My breathing became ragged, labored and I gasped as I tried to get more air into my lungs. Jack spat on the floor and gave me a fuming look before turning around and walking away. Drew waited till Jack was out of the hall, and I could only hope that someone find me before something bad happened.

As I watched Jack turn around the corner, Kai's face came to my mind and I couldn't help but gasp for some more air. Tears threatened to come and I had to bite my tongue to stop them; I didn't want Drew to think I was afraid right now. But at the same time, I couldn't stop my thoughts…did Kai know where I was? He was lying there in his bed, celebrating today's victory and he had no idea what was going on.

"So," Drew let go of my arm but grabbed my jaw instead before pushing me so hard, that my head slammed against the wall. I held back a curse as my already-injured shoulder started to ache, and the pain in my head started surging. "What happens now?"

Once again, I could feel my skin burning where the blade had hit me, and I tried raising my hand up to it by instinct, but Drew had no problem in stopping me by pulling it downwards. I couldn't stop the small tear that fell down my cheek this time as he squeezed my wrist in the most vile of all ways.

"Now, now." His voice was teasing and he leaned in just a little bit closer, "Don't cry just yet."

I gasped loudly as his hold got unbearable.

"There's a lot more to come."

I just wanted to run away, to my room, where I knew no-one would get to me; to the guys, who'd protect me from this...to Kai, who'd make me feel okay in his arms.

Adrenaline ran through my veins, and I tried, once again, to free myself. He squinted at my feeble attempt against him, and then he smiled.

"But first," He continued as if I had done nothing at all, "You told them, didn't you?"

His tone was so acidic, but the calmness of it scared me. What irked me all the more was that when I tried to speak, his grip on my face made it so hard to do so. So I just shook my head.

"You're _lying_!" The empty hallway carried his voice around, and once again, I wished someone would hear it. I clenched my jaw, trying to stop the tears from coming, as I shook my head to answer him once more. I was scared, but I was trying my best not to show it. I could tell I was failing, because his confidence never faltered.

He let go of my jaw, putting that hand on the wall instead, just behind my shoulders.

"Don't lie to me," He smiled cockily, and I struggled more as he pressed his body against mine, pushing me against the wall.

"I'm not," My voice wavered, and I regretted speaking at all because he was smiling threateningly at me again, now that I had proven that I was scared.

"You told them," He spat, his smile never leaving his features, and I had to look away to the side. He was so close, it intimidated me. But then again, maybe that's what he wanted in the first place; to make me feel threatened.

"I did _not_." I spat right back at him, and this time, I was proud that my voice didn't crack.

For a short while, he looked down at me angrily, his eyes searching mine for any indication that might qualify my truths as lies. I'm not sure what he saw, but it angered him all the more.

"Then tell me why, Hillary," I hated the way my name curled off his tongue, so smoothly, and yet so harshly, "did your _friend_, know?"

I knew he was talking about Kai, and I had to admit, for a while, that sentence made my heart skip a few beats. But then I realized that it was probably one of his attempts to intimidate me or something.

"I did _not_ tell anyone, anything." I repeated, clearing every single syllable so that I might not have to repeat them once more.

"You didn't make an attempt to hide anything, either!" He was yelling again, but I said nothing. I barely moved, or cringed at the loudness of his words.

"And now, Hillary," His voice lowered to a dangerous tone, "You know you've got to pay for that."

"No, I don't." I replied calmly. "I didn't d-"

His hand, which was on the wall, was suddenly in my hair, pulling them so forcefully that it hurt. He pulled them downwards, yanking so much that I had to bend to keep myself from crying out in pain.

"You're _lying_," He whispered, and somehow, the intensity in that barely audible whisper scared me more than his yelling. "When I fought Hiwatari, he told me to stay away from you. Why?"

"He doesn't know." I protested, in Kai's defense more than my own. I didn't want him to get hurt too. "I didn't tell him."

"Oh, but he does know." He yanked at my hair and I felt some of them break contact with my scalp. I bent a little more, my hands gripping uselessly at the wall for support. "He's been around every single time I wanted to make a move, keeping that watchful eye on you, on me..."

He trailed off, as he let go of the wrist he was holding, only to grip the skin above it, with equally as much force.

"Even Ivanov knows."

I was surprised at the new name that joined the one-sided conversation...Tala knows..._Tala_.

Suddenly, his annoying looks took on a different meaning. Had Kai told him or was I being so obvious that he guessed it himself?

"It's your fault," His voice turned into a whisper, so slow and so ominous, "I can't get to you because they know about us."

Us...? There _was_ no _us_...Only him, and his imagination telling him the set-up that would never be possible.

"I don't like being told what to do, Hillary." He whispered in my ear, pulling me down to the ground, and I didn't oblige; I didn't have the energy to stand up, or protest anyway, so I let him do as he wanted.

I was already thinking of giving up.

"Let _go_..." I tried to yell, but it came out as merely a small whisper because I had barely just caught my breath. He smiled.

"Now that," He moved his face so close that I couldn't see anything else, "is not an option."

"Just let go." I pleaded, once more.

He chuckled, closing his eyes and slowly, he inched his face forward.

"Maybe later." He whispered huskily.

"What are you _doing_?" I said, finally finding my voice at the new horror that overcame me. I squirmed and I tossed but it was so useless with one injured shoulder, one held back hand and feet that don't have the energy to hold you off the ground. He gripped my hair and pushed my head towards him. When I felt his lips against my skin, for a while, he seemed to be caught off guard that I wasn't protesting anymore. I took this to my advantage and pushed him as hard as I possibly could with my free hand; it hurt so much, the shoulder ached as the muscles got pulled at the sudden moment; but that moment worked. He fell a little backwards, and I kicked him off me with all my force. Gripping my shoulder, I pushed myself off the ground and it was when I had just stood up, that I saw it…the small, black colored beyblade that had fallen to the floor when I had pushed Drew off me. Adrenaline running through my blood, I darted towards it at the same time he did…and succeeded in grabbing it off the floor.

"No, you don't!" Drew growled, grabbing my shirt and yanking me backwards towards him when I attempted to run away. I tried elbowing him, but this time, it didn't work. He forced me to turn around and pushed me towards the wall again. I was out of breath and I when my head hit the wall once more, I started to feel light-headed all of a sudden. I doubted if I could stay conscious for more than a while.

But I wasn't giving up…I had came here, and got myself in trouble, it was only fair that I get back what I wanted in return, and in this case, it was Drew's blade. There was _no _way he was getting away with trying to cheat with _my _team.

However, determined as I was, it was only my will that kept me conscious now…I was losing energy, I could barely stand, I was feeling dizzy but I wouldn't let my hold loosen on the blade any time soon. I knew I wouldn't let go now, and I almost smiled. Through half-wet and barely-able-to-focus eyes, I saw Drew's panicked expression and felt huge pride at being the one who caused it.

"Give it _back_!" He yelled, pulling me before pushing me back into the wall by my waist again. I didn't know how much physical pain I could stand anymore, I didn't know if I had the energy to run away.

"No." I replied softly but firmly. His eyes gleamed a little with something, and for a second, it scared me but while he was staring at me like that, I carefully picked the bit chip off his blade, without making any noise, and pocketed the blade in my jeans…now all I had to do was run. I looked behind him, at the wall that his blade had indented, and suddenly became conscious of some warmth as something wet oozed down my skin, onto my neck….wait…..

"Fine." Drew's reply brought me back to reality and I when I looked back at his face, I saw something strange in there….something I recognized as trouble for me. Because I knew that expression, I knew it very well. It was the very same one he wore whenever I saw him before this tournament thing had started. Oh no…

"Maybe later." He smiled, and with that crashed his lips to mine. I struggled and squirmed but it was no use…My will crashed the moment his lips touched mine, and I knew I'd lost it. I had lost it, just like every time. Suddenly, Kai's face popped into my head again, and this time, I didn't even try to stop the tears from falling. If only I'd told him, if only he knew….I wouldn't even _be_ here…If only I was less of a coward…

I was beginning to feel light-headed again just thinking about it and I had to cling to the wall behind me to support myself. I gasped for breath, finally succeeding in turning away from Drew, and yet again, saw him smile.

I was loosing my hold on reality…I could barely keep myself on ground. Everything was starting to go blurry around the edges and soon, I realized, I would go black. I could hear my loud gasps as I tried to get some air into my lungs once again. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, pulsing fiercely through my veins; I could feel its vigor…I knew I had to get away…but I couldn't…I didn't have the strength…I couldn't even move…

Through all of this, I heard a crash that would've been loud if I could hear clearly. But when I _did _hear that feeble sound, through the corner of my eyes, I could see that Drew was no longer standing in front of me now…

"Oh, damn." I looked up, still gasping for breath, still fighting for energy, into crystal-blue eyes I took no time in recognizing…relief washed over me, over-powering every other emotion I was feeling.

"Tala?" I whispered so inaudibly, I barely heard it myself. I put my palms on the floor, where I now laid, and tried to push myself up. Instantly, he had his arms under mine, and when he pulled me upwards, I dropped the bit-chip I'd been holding in my hand the whole time.

That was the last thing I could clearly remember though; dropping the bit-chip on the floor. Everything that happened next, barely passed my mind…It was like watching through some translucent sheet; half of it reached some place I didn't even know and the other half that reached me….I wasn't even sure if it was real.

"…..get your ass down here _now_!" Some unfamiliar voice yelled from right beside me. It was probably Ian, or Spencer. "She's bleeding, you—"

Kai…they were talking to Kai…I wanted to hear the rest of the conversation, but I was gasping so loudly, I couldn't even hear Tala when he tried to say something to me….I could barely stand and as Tala lifted me up in his arms, I knew I must've zoned out because the next thing I knew….

"Hillary?" Kai…it was Kai…he was here…in front of me. I tried to look up, I wanted to see his face, I wanted to hear his voice again…

My vision was getting blurry again…tinged at the edges. I realized I hadn't stopped crying, I realized I was still in Tala's arms and that I could barely hold myself up right, I realized how urgently I was trying to get some air into my lungs, I realized how fast my heart beat was….But right now, none of it mattered. Kai said something I barely caught, and the last thing I could remember, before everything went black, was feeling the warmth of his skin as he wrapped his arms around me, and the look of panic in his eyes when he did so….

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

_I was running, away from something I didn't know. Away from something I feared. There was a shadow lurking behind me, following my every move it seemed, because no matter how much further I tried to run away, I just kept feeling it was still there…holding me back…strangling me…_

The first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was the suddenly bright lights that entered them…I instinctively shut my eyes and waited till I adjusted…

"Hillary?"

The whisper was the second thing I noticed and it caught my attention immediately…Someone was here in the room with me…

"Are you okay?" Another voice, still a whisper though, asked. How many people were here anyway?

I wanted to say something…I wanted to say _No_, because heaven's knew I was _not_ okay; especially after how things started to become clearer now… I suddenly became aware of the low, surging headache that I was feeling. I started to hear my increasingly ragged breathing. I felt something very stiff up my shoulder, which was making it hard, not to mention painful for me to put my weight on. Other than that, I heard a very slow, but continuous beeping in the background that confirmed my suspicion about the mess I was in right now.

I tried opening my eyes again when I had adjusted to the lights, and hoisted myself up by the elbow, not being able to take the pain in my shoulders anymore. It hurt a little, but someone –Max?—helped me up.

I saw that everyone was here; Tyson, Ray, Max, Kenny, Kai and even Tala. They were all crowded around the bed I was lying in but that hardly mattered. Because when I saw their faces, when I saw Kai's and Tala's faces, their bloody and dirty clothes, I regretted opening my eyes at all. It was then that reality struck me, and it hurt more harshly than anything else. It hurt the worst…

"Are you okay, Hillary?" Max asked, his voice more clear to me than it had been before. I looked from his worried expression, over to Ray's anxious one. Tyson was looking at the floor, seeming sort of upset and Kenny had his head bent low. Tala was leaning at the wall, staring with a blank expression, though I did think I saw something else in his rigid pose. He didn't look as calm as he was trying to portray.

"Fine." I whispered unconsciously, before looking at Kai. He was sitting the closest to me, I noticed, and everyone but him was standing. His white scarf was covered with blood that was more apparent on it than on his other darker pieces of clothing. There had been blood on Tala's clothing as well, _my_ blood; an unwanted reminder of yet another event I'd rather not have thought about.

But that wasn't why I had looked at Kai. I wanted to feel a little bit better so, just like every time, I turned to him. When I looked at him though, I assumed he'd give me this worried look and I'd be sure everything will be okay, but he surprised me. He just looked away. I didn't see his face to tell what he was feeling at all.

It was quiet, except for the slow beeping that had now increased in pace. It was embarrassing to let people know how fast your heart was beating with panic. I wish it'd stop. Or better yet, I wish they'd just go away and leave me to die on my own.

"What's going on, Hils?" Tyson looked up, anger showing clearly in his eyes. I blinked at him, surprised at his reaction. What was he talking about?

When I didn't reply, his eyes flashed with some more anger.

"What were you _thinking_?" He was almost yelling, and I cringed at how loud his voice suddenly sounded. I started panicking again suddenly, and this time, my hands started to sweat. But I didn't want to fight with anyone anymore, so I said nothing.

"Tyson." Ray whispered warningly, and I looked over at him to see that even _he_ didn't mean for Tyson to stop. He was looking at him expectantly, almost as if he wanted Tyson to continue.

"_What_ were you thinking?" Tyson repeated again, and this time I wanted to yell back at him. Couldn't he see I already had a headache?

"I wasn't." I whispered, speaking consciously for the first time.

He rolled his eyes. My head was starting to throb again. Why wasn't anyone stopping him?

"Nice move, there." He said sarcastically, and for the first time, I didn't have it in me to reply. It didn't help that I kind of agreed with him, myself. What had I been _thinking_ getting myself into trouble like that, anyway?

"I didn't know." I finally whispered, trying to defend myself. Not from just him, but from me as well. "I didn't know. I was just…passing by."

No-one said anything. No-one replied to me and I noticed how disappointed everyone looked. No-one, not even Max and Ray were looking at me. They looked so let down, and upset and just frustrated….it was hurting my feelings, not that I think I didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry." I tried one last time, but failed to make even one of them turn to look up at me. Why were they so disappointed, anyway? It wasn't as if it was my fault…I mean, I know I shouldn't have tried to eavesdrop, but I was just going back when he saw me, wasn't I? I was trying to get away, they shouldn't be disappointed in me like this…they couldn't. Besides, if it had been someone other than me, Drew probably wouldn't have done so much damage. What right did they have of criticizing me when they didn't even know the whole story?

Guilty...Well, it _was_ my fault that I hadn't told them…

Slowly, when the silence got ghastly, I heard the door open and Max, Ray and Kenny walked away. I could only stare at them as they did so.

"I'm leaving," Tyson said, grabbing his vest off the chair, not looking up even once before turning completely around. "Nice job at turning the day around like that, Hillary."

_Ouch…_

The door shut behind Tyson with a soft click….

I tried to make sense of the situation but I never was good at that now, was I? Just like I was never good at being a friend to them, just like I never can stay out of trouble for once…just like I was the most stupid person alive…

Before I knew it, I was crying again. The sobs that started out as silent, accompanied with some salty tears, became more audible, and I hitched my breath in an attempt to stop them.

"Hillary," Even when Kai spoke, I couldn't hold myself. You'd think I'd try and not be such a baby around him…

"Calm down, okay?"

But it was so nice to hear his voice again…not just his voice, but his voice addressing _me_…Gosh, I'd missed it. I had missed it _so_ much….

I sniffed again, trying to control my tears. For a while, I seemed to be succeeding, but then, I felt his hand around mine and I couldn't help but cry a little more. He was probably mad at me like everyone else was, I couldn't help thinking. He was probably more mad at me than anyone else. If anyone had the right to know, it was Kai.

"Don't," I said, pushing away my hands from him hesitantly and then raising them up to my face to wipe the tears away. "Please, don't."

I'd rather he help me because he wanted to instead of just out of sympathy. I didn't want that, especially not from him.

I snuffled, trying to think a little bit more clearly…but my head kept hurting and, then there was that awful pain in my shoulders, where they'd gotten cut….I couldn't _help_ the tears. I just wanted to rest. Maybe I'd ask a nurse to sedate me or something.

I heard the door open, and then close but it was probably just Tala leaving, because through the corner of my eyes, I could see that Kai was still sitting in his place, his hand still outstretched, as it waiting for me to put mine over it…

"Why not?" He asked, his voice plain and emotionless and I just _had_ to look up. Through my foggy vision, I saw him frown a little before moving his chair closer to the bed, nearer to me.

I wiped what I hopefully thought was the last of my tears till I could see him clearly. I couldn't read his subtle expression.

I drew in a deep breath, and let it out.

"I'm sorry, Kai." I whispered, looking away from his face, afraid of his reaction. "I'm so, very sorry."

He didn't reply, and for a second, I thought I'd tear up again. I clenched my jaw and pressed my fingers tightly against my cheeks in discomfort.

"It's not your fault." He finally said, his voice sincere.

I still didn't look up, and from the corner of my eyes, I saw him inch a little bit more closer. He sighed.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked in a slow voice and the sudden change in the subject made me divert my eyes from my lap, to look up at him.

"I'm fine." I could tell that he knew I was lying, because he looked at me disbelievingly. His eyes searched mine, trying to discern the truth, but he never said anything to voice his thoughts.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" He asked again, and immediately, he looked over at my wounds. My shoulder had been bandaged where it had been cut, and I was glad he, or me, couldn't see the intensity of the wound...but then again, I realized he probably had.

"My head." I admitted and raised one hand up to the back of my head, which had been, like my shoulder, bandaged. I remembered hitting the wall quite a few times, and concluded that it was probably that wound.

Kai didn't look as calm as I felt about it though and I realized that he didn't have any idea about how the worst was over.

"It'll get better." Was all he said and it was only then that I noticed his lack of response. I raised my hand up to my face again, folding my fingers against my cheeks, nervous. He wasn't replying to anything like he used to, he was ignoring it instead. It bothered me a lot, no surprise.

I suddenly realized why.

"You can leave if you want to, Kai." I said, feeling angry at myself for unconsciously hoping that he wasn't feeling the same way the others were; disappointed and furious. "I'm not stopping you."

He heaved a sigh again before looking at my face….I was reminded of the time when he'd last done that, back at the plane, when all of it had started...well, the mess had started long before; I just thought I'd get away from it as soon as I got on that plane. It turned out that boarding that plane led me straight into the clutches of the source of my mess; Drew.

"Tell me, Hills," He spoke softly, as if I hadn't said anything. He raised his hand to pry mine off my face and held them beneath his, in a very comfortable gesture that, even though I felt the need to, I didn't protest against. "Do you _want_ me to leave?"

It doesn't matter, I thought. But at the same time, my eyes darted across the room, towards the door. Was it really safe in here, in the dispensary, to which everyone had access to? I moved my gaze towards the floor beneath the door, to see if I saw someone standing outside; I didn't see anyone, but that never comforted me. Then, I looked over to the other side of the room, towards the window.

"This is the first floor, right?" I asked, a new worry overcoming me and I abruptly realized that the worst probably wasn't over yet.

"Yes," I heard Kai reply over the increased beeping again; he looked over to the machine. "What's wrong?"

I panicked, and searched the room for my clothes; I spotted them lying on the chair, on the other side of the bed. I reached over to pick them up.

"Hillary," Kai whispered in worry, but for the first time, I didn't care. I turned my clothes over in my hands. My white Tee was tainted with my dried-up blood all over, and torn at the back where the blade had slashed me. My jeans were okay, but there too, was blood tainting them; though it wasn't as apparent as it was on my light-colored shirt. I turned my jeans over, and touched the slight bump on the back pocket, assuring me comfort.

I sighed in relief and the beeping slowed down to normal. I took out the black blade, and put it under my pillow, careful so as to hide it from Kai. I didn't need to though, because even if he _had_ seen the blade, and I'm sure he saw _something_, he wouldn't have said anything. I put the clothes beside me on the bed, and turned back to him.

He was looking at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to explain to him; I didn't. And he didn't question me either. It was getting uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say.

"You want me to leave, don't you?" Kai asked, his voice was blank but I thought I saw anger in his eyes. That offended me slightly.

"If you want to go so badly," I snapped, "then I'm not stopping you."

"Do _you_ want me to go?" His repeated, his voice turned to a whisper and he leaned his face in a little bit. That caught me off guard, and not knowing what to say, I looked away. I knew the answer, it was a negative; No, Kai, I don't want you to leave. That was it. But that was just me, yearning for comfort.

"That hardly matters." I stated impassively, without looking at him. Once again, I realized that the blade was with me, and I wasn't sure if it was safe to keep it here; here on the ground floor with the open windows, here in the dispensary every participant could freely enter. He will come, I was sure of it, to pick up the thing I had taken from him. So, what I wanted was not that was the question here, I _needed_ someone here with me. Either that, or I needed to know it was safe here alone.

"But it does," Kai's voice got more reflecting, and I noticed the slightly annoyed tone in it. "Why don't you just admit it, and save yourself some more trouble?"

A small aching and my heart skipped a beat, or two, or three; I couldn't remember.

"What are you trying to say?" I snapped angrily, and although I didn't want it to, but my voice rose, and kept on rising at every word. "That suddenly, I need _you_ to keep me safe while I lie in bed like this?"

I ignored the irony of the sentence, but he didn't know that, now did he?

"You needed _someone_, while you walked back to the suite, didn't you?" His voice mounted over mine, and I cringed.

"I know you're angry at me," It was the first time I was this resentful towards him, and I resented him more for making me feel this way, "And I know I should've told you everything, right from the start. But I didn't, I _couldn't_, and I regret it every single day. I don't need you guys making me feel bad about it, okay? I don't need _you_ reminding me that I'm so helpless, that I've always been so helpless about everything!"

I closed my eyes as the tears started to fall. I leaned back on the pillow and pulled the sheets over me, ignoring the pain as I put my weight on my shoulders. I felt so pathetic, crying over such a trivial thing. But I didn't want to face him right now. I was so disappointed; I had expected him to comfort me. I wanted him to make me feel better, but he just ended up making me feel so much bad. Could I really not count on anyone, anymore?

A feeling of helplessness overpowered me, and I pulled my knees upwards, burying my head into the pillow. What was I supposed to do, now? Everyone was so mad at me, they was being so inconsiderate; it hurt. I thought back over my actions, over every word I had said, and I understood how they felt. I was like a child, who was so helpless, she needed everyone else to solve her problems; who was so stubborn, that she wouldn't even state her problems, so that she may have a chance at solving them; she was so emotionally hopeless, that she didn't know what to do, cry or worry or smile…and she was so self-centered, she didn't realize sooner where she was doing wrong.

But it still hurt that the guys were just giving up on me. Wasn't that what they had done when they'd walked out without asking for an explanation about _what_ had happened, instead of _why_ it had?

Had I ever given up on _them_ when they seemed to be going through their time?

"Hillary," I heard Kai whisper, it was soft, almost muted if it hadn't been so close. I sniffed, the sound being muffled by the pillow, and balanced my weight off my shoulders. They were still aching.

"Hillary," There was that soft little moan again, and I thought I heard a smile in his voice. It confused me.

I felt a tug, as Kai tried to take off the sheets from my head but I refused to let him. I removed my face from the pillow, turned it sideways and heard myself say,

"Go away." And I'd said it in the rudest way I'd ever used while talking to him.

"I'm sorry, okay?" He replied in a pleading tone, and I froze, suddenly angry. Why was _he _apologizing?

I heard a small sound as Kai dragged the chair against the marble floor, and then I felt his hand touch my back through the thin sheets covering it. I flinched.

"Will you look at me?" He asked, his voice reflecting a little amusement, and then a little tension.

This time, without even waiting for a reply, he pulled the covers off me. The moment was so sudden, I didn't have the chance to react, and suddenly, I found myself staring into his deep-purple eyes.

"That's better." He smiled, but in response, I just shrugged him off. His hand, which was on my waist, was now pushed off it so forcefully, it hurt _me_. But he didn't seem to care.

He raised his hand and brought it to my face. I thought about pushing him away again, he was being so persistent, but I found that it was so against my will. He wiped away the remnants of my tears…

"I'm not mad at you, Hils," He whispered, leaning his face closer to mine. My lips quivered at the lie, and I felt the tears come back again. I raised my hands up to my face again, pushing his away, before leaning back against the pillow, in a rather comfortable position than before.

He frowned.

"I'm not lying." He stated blankly again, but even then, I said nothing. If he wasn't lying, if he was, somehow, really not mad at me, then he wouldn't have yelled at me like that.

"I don't believe you." I whispered, my voice cracking in the same sentence, twice.

I expected him to argue, but it surprised me that he didn't. He just sat there, his hands pulled backwards, gripping the edge of the bed, his face tensed and contorted...somewhat confused.

"I'm sorry," He finally said and when I saw that the confusion in his expression was replaced by sorrow, I tensed.

"But it's not your fault." I repeated what he'd told me a while ago, but only this time, it true for him like it wrong for me. I didn't want him to be upset about anything again; angry, sure, that made sense, but not upset.

He shook his head.

"I shouldn't have..."He trailed off, looking confused again. "I should've been there when I knew..."

He trailed off again, waiting for me to react, apparently, to the words he thought I didn't know; but I knew them, and I didn't react. He didn't know that Drew had told me everything... right before the bastard slammed my head on the wall.

"I _am_ angry," he continued in a whisper and it scared me that he felt this way, it scared me that he felt so much. "No, I'm outraged, Hillary."

He had positioned his chair so close that all I could see was him. And when he leaned in close, just now, and put his hands on my knees in this tender manner, I felt my heart melt.

"But it's not you." He said, "He hurt you, and I couldn't do anything till he did."

I tensed…_Guilt_….He was feeling guilty….

His hand went from my knee, up to my uninjured shoulder, to shake me slightly when he noticed my edginess.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you, when I swore to myself that I will." He looked down at me, and I noticed how he wasn't meeting my gaze, "I'm sorry that I knew everything, and yet, failed to keep you safe."

Suddenly, I was crying again. I don't know what it was, confusion (_he _wasfeeling guilty?), remorse (I had yelled at him) or I was just touched by his words; but there they were. A few tears gushed miserably down my cheeks, wetting the sheets where they fell. But I was glad that was it, only a few tears and not an uncontrollable gush of emotions.

"It's not your fault," Was all I could say to him once more, as I hid my face in my hands again. He wasn't mad at me...? It was hard to admit but I knew, what with that expression of his, that it must be true. And I felt so guilty again for yelling at him; it must've made him feel awful…When will I ever get anything right?

"It is," He denied, and leaned back towards me again, and suddenly, I felt a little better. It was so pathetic, this weakness I had for him, but it was there and I decided to take its full advantage.

"Then I forgive you, Kai." His name slipped off my lips effortlessly and I found myself moving towards him. Suddenly, my feet were pressed against the cold marble floor as I turned completely towards Kai. Suddenly, I was in his arms, my head was buried in his chest and my arms were around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Suddenly, I felt loads better…

"Thanks," He smirked, probably at my hasty reaction, "But I'll bother you again about this; I don't think you're fully conscious, yet."

I chuckled through my tears, surprised at how effortless it was to do so.

"What makes you say that?" I mumbled, not really caring what he said, as long as I got to hear his voice, his sarcastic comments.

"You're tired." He stated; not a question, just a statement. I noticed the seriousness of his voice and raised my head to look at him.

He was looking at me straight in the eye, inquisitive and curious. I realized why, just in time and stopped him before he asked anything.

"Not now, Kai." I pushed my face into his neck again, wanting actually, to hide it from him as a few tears fell down my face at the memory of what had happened just a few hours ago. "Please don't remind me."

He said nothing in response and I realized that it was because he had decided not to push it; I was relieved.

But I still dreaded what was about to come. Trying not to think about what had happened, forced my attention on the very same thing. I pursed my lips.

"What is it?" He noticed me go rigid against him, and tried to pull away but I didn't let him. Two reasons; I didn't want him to see my expression because he'll freak out. The second reason was that right now, I needed the comfort I'd gotten addicted to.

"Nothing." I muttered. My voice was quiet and almost blank, but it made him react as if I had said something terribly expressive. He pulled away, ignoring me as I gripped his bloody clothes in protest. He grabbed my fingers and pulled my hands downwards; it wasn't a forceful action, but I still didn't like what he did.

"What?" I asked, when he started searching my face for something again. It made me uncomfortable when he did that, and I made a mental note to point that out to him some time again; he seemed to have forgotten the time I'd first told him that. That night when I came from the rain and we talked in my room seemed so long ago. So much had changed...

"You're scared," He stated, and I was stunned at the accuracy of his answer. I composed myself; was I really _that_ readable?  
"Aren't you?" He asked again, and I made an attempt to be vague.

"Maybe." If I told him, it would only worry him; the last thing I needed was the guilt of that happening.

"What is it?" He asked again, and it bothered me that I had to lie to him like this.

_Then tell him_, I told myself. I wanted to, I needed to, but _should_ I?

He averted his stare from my face, and looked down at my lap, where he had placed my hands, under his firm hold. I saw him purse his lips and, for one crazy second, I thought I saw that calculating look in his eyes….as if he was seeing something that shouldn't have been there. I watched as his contemplating expression turned to a suspicious one, then to something unexpected; anger.

"What did he _do_ to you?" He suddenly asked, his voice rising with every word, and he gripped my fingers in a tight hold. He pulled up my sleeves to reveal large, purple finger-marks blotched on my skin. I blinked at them.

"It's," I shook his hold off my fingers, "just a bruise. He's done worse than _this_."

I regretted saying that as soon as I had, because Kai, who had looked angry once, was now looking furious. His hands had curled up into fists and he clenched his jaw.

"What happened to your head?" His anger scared me; I was afraid that if I say the wrong thing, he'd make a wrong move and in my current position, I wouldn't be able to stop him.

So I answered him truthfully.

"Hit the wall." I felt ashamed, like it was suddenly all _my_ fault.

"Your shoulder?" He asked in the same blank tone, though his eyes reflected every emotion clearly. I breathed in.

"Cut by a beyblade."

"And he's done _worse_?"

I didn't know what to say. I just looked at him, feeling confused.

"I want you to tell me everything." He clenched his teeth, "Every _single_ thing. And don't _lie_ to me now."

"I want to tell you everything," I stated, looking down at his lips, then his blood-tainted clothes; avoiding his eyes.

"Then speak." I cringed at the harshness in his voice, and started to feel angry.

"You're making it hard for me, Kai." I said in a calm voice, despite my growing annoyance.

He squinted a little, and stared back at me without a change in his expression. I didn't changed mine either and, after a while, he relaxed. He closed his eyes, leaning away from me and drew in a deep breath; I just watched him, curious as to what he was doing, disappointed that he was doing it, and confused if I should say something or not.

"I'll tell you everything, Kai." I tried again and he opened one eye to look at me. "But I don't get why you have to be so emotional about it."

He opened his other eye, and I saw that he looked offended but he wasn't saying anything; which made me more curious as to what he was thinking. He leaned in forward, his expression going soft and while I stared at him at the sudden change in his emotions, he raised one hand up to my face again.

"Is this why you're afraid?" He motioned towards my bruised wrist. The question caught me off guard and I was silent. He judged my silence again; taking it for a 'yes', it seemed, because the next thing I knew, his hands were tracing my cheeks as he moved more close to me. It seemed like an act of comfort, and it really was working, apparently.

He closed his eyes.

"He won't," His whisper, along with his fingers as they trailed random patterns on my skin, ran shivers down my spine; he was so close. "I won't let him hurt you again."

I sighed, feeling relieved, because I knew he wouldn't; he wouldn't let Drew get to me. Slowly and hesitantly, I pushed myself back into him, pressing my face to the skin of his neck; it was warm and I realized how much I missed him. Overcome by emotion, I felt my arm go around his neck, while the other –the injured one – lay on his chest. I sniffed; the metallic, muddy smell of blood on his clothes prevented me from smelling the lilac one I longed for, but I was satisfied with the way it was being covered up. Kai wasn't holding back. He was tugging me closer to him, as if he, too, craved for consolation; as if he, too, was longing for absolution. It confused me, for a while, but no matter the intention, I was pleased with how he was reacting.

"Okay," I finished, looking down at the floor. I felt his free hand move towards my waist, while the other one continued tracing my cheeks, and then my lips; he put one finger under my chin and made me look up at him, from where I was staring down. He smiled, and I froze where I was.

"And that's a promise I plan on keeping this time." He searched my eyes for something again; I don't know what he saw in there, but it was what made him lean a little bit more close, till our foreheads touched. His breath mingled with mine, and that was enough to make me feel dizzy. I could barely take the emotions as his hand moved from my waist, and from there; upwards, to lock itself in my tangled hair. He was careful with his hold this time, not wanting to hurt me anymore than I already was, but even if he wasn't, I barely would've felt the pain over this happiness.

I smiled, only so that my lips curled a little upwards, and closed my eyes. I didn't know what he was feeling exactly, but from my hand on his chest, I could tell that his heart was beating as quickly as mine was, and for the small, wonderful second that our lips touched, I felt him relax against me.

I did nothing other than marvel over that little touch, and it was disappointing that he pulled away just as quickly as he had made the move. I opened my eyes to see him staring down at me, pleased.

"I've wanted to do this ever since I saw you," He breathed in my ear, and closed his eyes, leaning his forehead back against mine. I smiled, closing my eyes as well. For that moment, I forgot all my worries again. I felt that refreshing feeling again whenever he was close; the after-affect of a good, warm bath. I felt calm, content that I was in the most secure of all places; with him.

Slowly, I felt my eye lids get heavy; slowly, I felt consciousness loose hold of me. The last thing I remembered was feeling Kai's skin against mine, his hand tracing my back, his breath in my hair, before I felt myself drift into what seemed like a very peaceful slumber, for the very first time in ages…

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

_**Okay, so before anyone judges me...I was SO bored last week (wrecked my PC...AGAIN) that I picked up a book to read from my shelf...the choice was completly random, and the book turned out to be...Eclipse: The Twilight Saga...**_

_**So, while I deny every single day that I'm in NO way a fan of Twilight, the book is still on my shelf because it cost me some money (USED-to be twilight fan) and since it's thick, I tell my 5 year old to 10 year old cousins about how I much I can read (since no-one older than that listens to me anyway)...So, while I read the book, I picked up the cheesy way the author writes. That's why Kai's been acting like Edward Cullen in this chapter...This was by far, the CHEESIEST chapter I have EVER written...So, anyone who plans on telling me that, shouldn't, because I already know that. **_

_**So, now you guys (hopefully) believe my excuse for all the corny stuff, let me start apologizing for how long it took. First, my PC got busted, then, there was this AWFUL writer's block, and then, there were my other stories, practically SCREAMING for attention... I've been working on them for a while, and although I wrote this chapter a long while ago, it had to be edited here and there exactly twelve times (And I'm not exaggerating)...**_

_**But whatever, it was worth it (to me). And if it wasn't worth it to you...then don't tell me.**_

_**Especial thanks to kai-hil-lover (who made Kai say my user name in her story..LOVE you) for beta-reading this crap and actually saying it was WORTH putting up...I can't believe you're excited about this KHL...*sigh***_

_**Till the next chapter, then….:)**_


	14. Half The Revenge

AN:

Hey, everyone. So, I'm pretty excited about this chapter. I've had a few other ideas, but I settled for a Kai's POV. I've been waiting for this chapter ever since I started the story, so I hope you guys enjoy it.

I know that once, I said I didn't believe in violence, but really, you don't know how much a person can change in a year….I'm getting more sadistic by the day… So, a warning is, that there is SOME violence in this chapter….not very much, but a clash between Drew and Kai (I know EVERY single person has been wanting that) was to be expected.

Oh, and to a very sweet reviewer 'thegoldenlocket': I know I promised to write that scene where Hillary went unconscious, from Kai's/ B-Boys POV, and I swear I tried working it out, but the whole thing seemed pretty pointless. I mean, it wasn't contributing to the story, and there wasn't much to write, anyway. So, I'm so sorry I couldn't keep that promise I made, but while reading, you'll realize that there really was no need. I hope this chapter covers up for the disappointment you must be feeling. Once again, I'm sorry; I tried, but it didn't fit….:(

On with the fic, then:

_**Chapter 14: Half the Revenge.**_

_**Kai's POV:**_

When I came back from our suite, dressed in rather cleaner clothes, Hillary was still asleep; just as I'd left her. I nodded towards Mariah wordlessly, I'd left her with Hillary while I was away, and she smiled back at me in response. Then, without another word, she got up and left.

I sighed gently, as the door closed behind Mariah, before walking over to the other side of the bed where Hillary rested. Taking a seat, I glanced down at her face, so blank; neither very peaceful, nor very troubled, and somehow, I found comfort. She had a lot of things to do one she woke up; explaining everything being one of them. And, if I know her correct, then she'd probably want to talk to the guys and make things right as well.

I leaned against the chair, and looked upwards, towards the ceiling; I wanted answers, and I wondered how long I'd have to wait till she woke up and I get them. Not that I minded waiting, or anything; she was pretty exhausted and she really needed her rest. She'd gone asleep at about five in the evening. It was night now, completely dark outside but she'd been sleeping for just four hours….it wasn't sufficient enough but it was making me anxious. Her eight hours would be over at around midnight. What if she woke up and found no-one here? Would she be scared again?

I blinked at the ceiling, recollecting my previous thoughts, trying to bring some order to the many questions I needed to ask her before I went along and kicked that guy's ass. Drew…he was going to get it; just wait till I had enough excuses to actually put _him_ in a hospital.

Rubbing my temples with my forefinger, I tried to calm myself down; I didn't need the anger, she could wake up any second; she didn't have to see me like this. It'd scare her, it had always scared her; seeing me angry. She had had enough fear by now…

"Hillary?" I whispered, without looking at her. There was no reply; the only sound I could hear was the rhythmic beating of the machine, as it showed her pulse. It calmed me a little, knowing that she was fine….physically, at least.

Because, emotionally, even _she _had no idea how wrecked she was. She was bruised and injured, but that'd heal itself on its own. But emotionally, she needed someone with her. I'd seen her at every step, I've kept an eye on her right from the very start and she was _everything_ but fine. My muscles tightened at the memory of how it'd all started, how I'd finally caught everything.

If she thought she was succeeding at keeping stuff from me, if she thought I was going to _let _her do that, if she thought that she would _always _keep it a secret, then she was miserably mistaken. She'd _never _been able to hide things from me at _all_. Somehow, I'd always found her so readable, and somehow, I'd always felt protective when I found something that shouldn't be there in her expression. Of course, I knew why that was, and I've never been the one to hide from my feelings. Accepting the feelings I had for her, I went out of my way to help. She was one of the most stubborn people I'd ever met and when she'd _refused _to accept assistance, I didn't know what to do; I felt helpless. And I realized that's how she must have felt when I refused _her_ help. I regretted making her go through the same pain and anxiousness I was going through. She'd done so many things, to help everyone. She'd gone out of her ways to stitch the team back together when it felt hopeless; she'd done things I myself would've refused to do….

How could I _not_ help her, how could the guys _not_ help her, after the countless times she'd done things for _us_?

I thought she'd get better, I thought it was just a minor setback, the way she was feeling. She was distant, more reluctant, less determined. I thought it was temporary, but when I realized that it wasn't going away, it got me worried. When the others realized that, it got _them_ worried too. And we asked, but she never told us anything. That bothered everyone else all the more. They thought she didn't trust them, they thought –what with all the times they've shared _their _problems with her, and allowed her to help—she didn't want to share her problems with them because she didn't think them worthy.

That's when I stepped in. I knew it wasn't like her, she _did _trust them and she was the first one to talk if something was wrong. She wasn't herself. There was definitely something wrong, and I knew she was…_scared_ of telling us. It turned out, I was right. The first time I tried talking to her, in an attempt to make her realize that she could turn to someone –that she could turn to _me_—for help, she said the words that proved my theory right.

_"I'll regret telling anyone the truth."_

Concerned, I did something I shouldn't have –_wouldn't_ have –done under normal circumstances; I snooped through her cell. Not that I regretted it or anything, because I probably wouldn't have found out anything at all, if it hadn't been for my snooping. I'd watched her go and talk privately on her cell for a while, she never used to do that; her cell had always been used for emergency purposes. Besides the guys, and her parents, she had no-one to keep contact with. And then, when Max had lied for her on the phone, I'd realized something; A person, a call, privacy….Some_one_ was she didn't want to talk to, some_thing_ she didn't want to talk about.

A guy….

It had bothered me more than it should've and I knew exactly why that was. I felt…protective, again.

So, the day she'd come in from the rain, she'd emptied her pockets while she dried off and accidently left her cell downstairs when she left for a bath. Curious, and extremely apprehended, I switched on the cell, and looked through the last people that she'd called. The list was empty, she had called no-one, but I was surprised by the many unknown numbers she'd _received_ calls from. And, what I found really suspicious was that she'd never answered most of the calls, and the few that she _did_ answer, had the duration of only a few seconds…Then, there were numerous unopened messages from the same unknown numbers. I read all of them, and they were just random dates, and 'Be There's. Some of them, though, were really threatening and I took them into consideration, before I came up to a conclusion…

Someone was _stalking_ her.

And, this time, I hated that I turned out to be right. I saw the bruises on her wrists when I had handed her the cell, even though I tried to hide that I did, and it made gave my theory about someone stalking her, more support. It bothered me all the more, no need to say that. I talked to her about something else, of course; something Tyson had planted in my head while we waited for her to come back. He had thought that maybe she was having trouble dealing with her mother, and that's why she didn't want to talk about it. Her life at home, he had said, had always been a sensitive subject. I understood how she must've felt, I had a very sensitive subject of my own, after all.

Turned out, she _was _having trouble at home. And I was glad she'd told me about it, because I felt like I could fix it, if nothing else. But my priorities were her other problem. The one she _didn't_ tell me about.

When I had looked at her bruises, up close and front, it mad me mad than I had ever been. Because, for one thing, another one of my theories had been proven right, and for the second thing….she was _hurt_. That _person_, that _guy_, had actually HURT her…

She just had to say the words, she just had to tell me the name, and I'd do everything she wanted to happen. But when I asked her about it, she'd started tearing up, she was afraid again…So, very afraid. It confused me; what was she so scared of? Me? I wasn't going to hurt her.

I still had persisted, and when I had, she had been angry about it. I just wanted to help, and I knew that forcing her like that wasn't going to get me it. So, I let it go. These things were never easy, but I knew how they went; I had to earn her trust, first, before she told me anything. I had to make her realize that she had _me_ to turn to, that she had _me_ to talk to, that I could _help_ her more than willingly and that would take some time, but I was going to do it. She was worth the try, even I knew that. She didn't need to go through the hurt, if I could help it.

She only had to learn to accept the help she needed. The help _I _could give her. The help I could give _only_ if she told me everything herself, because even though the signs were all there, I needed to have _her_ accept it, before I took any steps. I needed to have _her_ admit to me, the problem, herself; the full story.

So, I waited. And I tried asking her every chance I got.

The first opportunity, I remembered, was in the bus, on our way to the plane; she'd been tired, so she'd fallen asleep, and I didn't get to ask her. Yet, I'd found something very helpful in exchange. She'd been sleep-talking, muttering apologies and random imperatives like 'Don't' and 'Stay away' and the occasional 'Let go's. She was having nightmares, and I wanted to wake her up. Why couldn't she at least sleep soundly, if she could barely be awake and calm at the same time? But then, I heard the most suspicious of all the things she'd yet said. The word had been low, almost muted, and after almost an hour of hearing her whisper unconsciously like that, I would've ignored it but I heard it clearly, and most audibly, because there was a very familiar edge to the word, the edge I recognized as fear. It was hard to ignore, when it was something I'd been searching for in her every word, trying to decipher the reason behind its existence.

The word had been a name, a name I'd been unaware of when I heard it. It wasn't just the word, like I had said, it was the tone in which she'd said it. Even in her unconsciousness, there was pain and fear, clear as ice in her expression. Her brows had been furrowed, there had been cold sweat on her face—which was contorted a little upwards in discomfort—and her lips had parted, as if to yell…and I just couldn't take it anymore. Without hesitation, I grabbed her shoulders, and shook them slightly, waking her up. Her ruby eyes were half-open in less than a few seconds, and drowsily, she'd looked around. I had been confused, but I hadn't said anything to her about it; I didn't need to anyway, because I got my answer when I saw the same fear in her eyes, on the plane.

She had just asked for someone to come over to her seat, but there it was again; the terror in her eyes, the panic in her voice. I'd gotten up, confused at her expression, and immediately, my eyes had darted behind her. I didn't like what I saw; a tall, brown-haired guy staring at Hillary. She had her back towards him, and when she saw me take a few steps towards her, she'd sat back down on her seat. I remembered staring warily at the guy, thinking of snapping his neck for looking at Hillary like that; a mixture of satisfaction, and a little bit smugness.

The guy, when he saw Hillary relax, turned towards me; at first, I saw anger in his eyes, and then, I'd seen doubt. He looked as dubious of me, as I was of him. We stared at each other, and when he took a step forward, glancing at Hillary, my protective instincts took over again. I'd inched closer to her, hovering over her; I'd only just seen that guy for the first time, and already, he seemed untrustworthy. Not only that, but Hillary was afraid again. Just like how she'd been when I tried asking her about her problem, just like how she'd been when I'd caught those bruises, just like how she'd been when she'd been having nightmares a while ago…._this_ guy was her problem.

_Drew_….she'd whispered in her sleep.

I'd asked her again right that moment, and she denied knowing him at all….She was afraid, still. I could see it in her eyes. It was scaring _me_, now. Why wouldn't she just admit it? Why couldn't she just _say_ the words? What was she so afraid of?

A week later, and it hadn't gotten any better. The third time that I came to her room after I'd heard something fall, I'd tried asking her again; still she denied telling me. And when I pressed, she had started crying again.

It was almost always like that; she'd deny the truth if I asked her, and then, if I pressed any further, she'd tear up again…

She was hurting…and I couldn't do anything about it. It made me angry, and it confused me all the more. I wanted to help, but I needed the full story. And when I'd encountered Drew that night, I could only just threaten him. I didn't know the whole history between him and Hillary, and so, I didn't know what the guy wanted. I was afraid I'd end up saying the wrong thing, and he'd hurt Hillary like the many times he'd done before. The encounter had been a quiet one, I'd refused to battle him at all, at first, what with the preliminaries so close, but that guy knew my weakness, he had found it back on the plane, on our last encounter; Hillary. I remembered the words that had my anger boiling to an uncontrollable extent.

_Do it, Hiwatari_, He had started with a smirk, _You wouldn't want me to hurt Hillary, now would you? _

I knew he wouldn't hurt her, he _couldn't_. As long as I was around her; I wouldn't _let_ him do it. But when he'd said her name, I felt the rage I'd been holding back, come to the surface. Hillary's face flashed in front of my eyes; a before-after image. A happy, carefree and determined Hillary, compared with the completely disturbed, anxious, and…withered Hillary. I had growled when I'd realized that it had been _this_ guy's fault; the guy, who was standing so close I could actually, physically hurt him.

And then, I'd lost control, and kept thrusting my beyblade into his with the power I never knew I was capable of, lashing out my anger in the only way I knew how to. The battle hadn't been even; I had the better hand and even though I had won, Dranzer –what with the many times she collided with the walls all around, as the other blade kept succeeding at dodging her – was damaged pretty severely. Though, I couldn't say I didn't feel better after the battle…And I did the only thing I _could_ do; I threatened him. I told him that I knew, and I told him to stay away from Hillary. There had been something in his eyes, something strange, and before I could tell what it was, he'd already turned around and walked away.

I had, once again, tried to ask Hillary about Drew. And, once again, she'd refused. I had a million things to say to her, I had a million more to hear, but I couldn't tolerate her excuses anymore. I tried my best, I even used that dirty lust-trick on her, but she didn't give in. She'd made me cross my boundaries, I'd given it my all in helping her, but she just wouldn't return the favor; that had infuriated me. What had I ever asked from her, anyway? Just the truth that would only do _her_ good….

So, I let go. It had been one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made when it came to friends; letting her deal with this drama herself. It was probably _the_ biggest ever. Of course, I'd kept an eye on her, an eye on Drew. I wouldn't let her be alone. It had been hard, what with the semi's so close, she'd go around for a walk when everyone would be practicing, and that scared me sometimes. So I asked Tala for help…

I told him everything; right from the start. I felt like I was invading Hillary's privacy, but that didn't matter anymore. She needed to be kept safe, I needed to know that she would be alright. Tala and the other, after a few corny jokes about my feelings for Hillary of course, had agreed to help. I felt better, I could concentrate more now that, whenever she was gone for a stroll, I knew she'd be safe.

But that was my mistake there. She didn't just need physical protection. I realized that a little too late, when she was yelling at Tyson in the cafeteria. I'd heard something in her voice when she'd yelled; hurt. She was _still_ hurting, she was _still_ scared. Protecting her never took that away. She didn't know that she was safe; she didn't know that I was looking out for her, like I had always been.

Feeling guilty again about what I'd done, I could just stare at her in silence as she yelled at Tyson, her eyes teary and her whole body shaking with sobs that I knew would come to their fullest when she was alone again.

And I was right once more. Standing outside her door a little while later, I could hear the muffled cries as Hillary poured her pain out again. She was terrified, and she was helpless about it, I knew that. And the guys needed to be more understanding of her, Tyson shouldn't have yelled at her; it wasn't her fault. She must've been disappointed at everyone's behavior. She must've felt betrayed. And, I only had myself to blame for not seeing this coming…I should've stuck by her side….

I meant to apologize, but I never really got the chance. She wouldn't come out of her room, she'd call in room service if she was hungry and she'd keep her door locked always, so that no-one could enter. If someone would call out for her, she wouldn't even reply. That had made me more anxious than I already was….She needed comfort…

The guys had apologized the very next day and she said she'd forgiven them. I knew she'd meant it. However, she kept her distance. She still wouldn't come out of her room, and she still wouldn't take openly to anyone. She was _still_ hurt by Tyson's words, everyone could see that.

The only time I _did_ see her out of the suite, though, was the day of the semi-final. I had been reluctant to leave, when I didn't spot Hillary around the living room when we were about to go, but then, she'd come out of her room and walked with us out to the stadium. She was tired, and everyone could see –what with all the stress –that she hadn't been sleeping well lately. I'd decided to apologize, to make things a little easier for her, as soon as the match was over. That had been my intentions, but injured as I was, I had to be dragged off to the dispensary first.

She had been a little happy, her face held a smile I couldn't get my eyes off of. It had been a while since I'd seen her like this but as soon as everyone had started talking, I'd seen her hunch into the chair, her frown growing by the second. She didn't want to be there, I could tell. Her eyes had been drowsy; she was tired, she needed to sleep. And, with that excuse, a word and a look in my direction which was accompanied by a fake little smile, she just left.

I thought, what with the suite so close, she'd have no trouble getting there. We were going to go back in a few minutes anyway, and I'd expected her to be asleep in her room; safe and unharmed.

I felt guilt consume me again; she'd forgiven me so easily, I didn't deserve it. It was stupid, to feel so remorseful, but how could I NOT think I was responsible? I knew every single thing, I had proof –her bruises, all the messages I saw – and I shouldn't have waited for her to confirm anything. I knew she was scared already, I shouldn't have had burdened her even more by getting mad at her like I had. I knew Drew had his eyes on her, and I shouldn't have let my guard down for the few minutes that I had….

I should've just…stayed with her. Let her know that I was there for her, that she didn't need to hide anything from anyone. I shouldn't have bailed on her like I had…

If I had known that she was going to be in trouble, I'd never have let her go. If I had known that she was going to run into Drew, I'd have snapped his neck long ago. If I'd just known…If only I'd _known_…..

But I hadn't….and when Spencer had called me, explaining in a rush that they'd found Hillary, and she was injured, I didn't know it would be so bad. For a while, I could just stand and stare at the petite figure in Tala's arms, much too shocked to respond. Anger had boiled up inside me, reaching its peak till it felt like I would explode. I was almost afraid when Tala handed Hillary to me; scared that I wouldn't be able to hold her, to give her enough protection. Had I ever succeeded at doing that before? Ever? Of course, I hadn't. And what with the uncontrollable fury that was raging inside of me, I was afraid I'd scare her again.

But she had been reaching out for me, her hands raised and her body tilted sideways, as if asking me to hold her, as if she _needed_ me close. And then, I realized, that despite myself, I'd always give her what she wanted, what she needed. Hadn't I always asked her for this? For her to call out for me if she ever needed help? How could I deny her that?

I remembered how I'd instantly reacted to her body language; touching her hands, before letting Tala shove her into my arms hurriedly. She was clinging to my chest, and that was the last thing I felt before she suddenly started to feel heavy in my arms, losing consciousness.

When I'd set her onto the white sheets, for the doctors to treat her wounds, I'd just watched from behind; my fists clenched, and my body shaking all over, as I stared at her bleeding form. There was sweat, combined with the crimson colored liquid, dripping from her forehead, down her neck, onto the white sheets. Her lips were swollen, and her face was paler than usual. Her body, so limp against the bed, looked almost lifeless, and she neither stirred, nor woke up during the motions the nurses were making her do…too much blood-loss, I'd heard someone whisper.

They'd turned her over, slipped the blood-covered shirt off her wounded shoulder to reveal a cut running from her pectoral, to the back of her neck… Anger; pure, surging rage was the only thing I was feeling right then— I wanted to see blood…_his_ blood –and it had taken a lot of effort to stop myself from going back to finding that bastard, to making him pay for what he had done. I had known that going off at that moment wouldn't be the best thing to do; I needed to be there if Hillary woke up. I'd made the mistake of running off on her once, and I wasn't going to let myself repeat it, again. So, I had kept myself composed; intending to actually be there for her this time, not wanting her to be any more afraid than she actually was. I had known that the others wouldn't understand what situation she was in; they would not be happy with her. I had to show her that she was safe, that Drew wouldn't get to her…..

I sighed, bringing myself to the present moment; there were a dozen unanswered questions in my mind, a dozen more that merely needed confirmation. I needed to her to tell me everything, everything I didn't know, every single thing I'd missed out on, in the fear that I was invading her privacy, that I was expecting too much, assuming that it'd be better if I waited…everything no-one was there to save her from. I wanted more reasons to hurt Drew; not that what I had weren't enough for me to break his face-bones, but I wanted enough reasons for me to break every single bone in the rest of his body. I wanted for my fist to connect with his face, and to see the same pain there, which I had to see in Hillary's eyes every day. I wanted to make him pay for every single time Hillary had been scared, for every time he'd threatened her, for every single phone call, for every touch, for every ache he'd made her go through…. I was going to avenge Hillary. Drew wasn't going to live his life in the peace and satisfaction of doing what he'd done, and getting _away_ with it. The time for repentance was now over; Drew would get his chastisement, I would personally make sure of it.

I was snapped out of my reveries when I heard the door creak open. Tala entered the room, barely making a sound. Following him inside were Bryan and Spencer. They looked at Hillary with penitence. They too wanted— but not as much as I did— to hurt Drew for all he had made Hillary go through. I sighed, despite my rage, before looking away from them all.

It had been a few hours since I was in the room with Hillary. Night had fallen; I could see the dark sky through the gaps between the blinds of the windows. She was still sleeping soundly and, once again, when I saw her, I felt composed. How many sleepless nights had Hillary spent in fear of that bastard, anyway? If only she'd relied on me, if she hadn't thought of trying to bottle everything up inside…

Just then, I heard the small creak of the door as it opened again, disturbing me from my thoughts once more. A nurse stood there with a notepad in her hands. She told us that it was time for us to leave, refusing with the validation that it was already very late when Spencer tried to reason with her to allow me to stay. Disappointed, I sneaked one last glance at Hillary. Would she be safe? Reluctant as I was, I decided that no-one would hurt her here. Though, I'd made sure to close and lock the windows to the room before I left.

Tala, Bryan, Spencer and I made our way back to our suites, barely speaking on our way back. The silence was, for the first time uncomfortable; because, right then, all of us had the urge to talk, yet we didn't know how to express ourselves. What were we supposed to do, anyway? Nothing, till we knew the entire story…only then, we would be able to justify entirely to Drew's vile. This time, though, I intended on handling things my way; no matter what Hillary said…

As we made the last turn for the corridor of Blitzkrieg boys' room, my eyes fortuitously fell on a figure leaning casually against the wall at the end of the corridor. All my thoughts – every calm, sane decision— left my mind the instant I saw that pleased smirk plastered across his face. The fury I'd been feeling a while ago came rushing to the surface and this time, I didn't quite know how I could control it. The only thing I _did_ know, however, was that if he didn't disappear from in front of my eyes in the next few seconds, I would do something – which under normal circumstances— I would regret.

"Don't, Kai." Tala, who knew me all too well for my own liking, said when he noticed my change of expression. He knew I was thinking about doing something lamentable but the calmness in his tone surprised me; he was _stopping _me now?

I barely gave his words more thought, though; my mind kept revolving around the verity that Drew was here in front of me, and this was the time for the reprisal I'd been waiting for him to get. Images began forming in my mind; Hillary, with bruises on her wrists… Hillary, going limp in my arms… Hillary, bleeding… Hillary, in the hospital…Hillary…Those images fueled my rage, my thirst for revenge and I suppressed a low growl.

Drew, when he saw my altered expression, let out a malicious laugh before taking a step towards me.

"You wanna know what I did, Hiwatari?" He smirked, his eyes glinting in amusement; I realize what he was trying to do. He was testing my anger, now; seeing how far I'd go without snapping. There was that surging rage again, blinding my vision, clouding my judgment; the ever-growing covet for revenge was fogging all my rationality again and even though I knew that I was falling into his trap once more, I didn't care this time. Loosing control would mean getting to see his blood on my fingers…

Spencer, who instantly sensed the dark aura radiating from me, inched closer. He knew I'd snap any moment, and apparently, he wanted be close enough to intercept. In my rage, I almost thought about hitting him for siding against me, but before I could react any further….

"Eh, Hiwatari?" Drew teased, and I snarled at him loudly. I felt my hands clench into fists in response to the anger that was boiling inside me, and somehow, I just waited as it did. I wasn't going to attempt to stop it, anymore. Drew was pushing his luck, and he was going to run out sooner than he'd thought if he kept this up.

"Don't listen to him, Kai." Tala warned, but once again, I completely ignored him. My eyes lingered on Drew…. Was Tala really thinking that I was just going to let that bastard off?

"I scared her," He continued as lightly as if he was talking about the weather. I saw the same glint in his eyes as before, and somehow, it now seemed brighter. I felt my anger reach its climax again, and this time, I didn't think even _think_ of oppressing it. I lunged at him, my fist landing on his face before anyone could stop me. Flashes of Hillary breaking down kept sweeping through my mind, her pained cries kept running through my head; almost as if _pushing _me to hit him even more…and that was just what I did; I kept punching him in the face, unfalteringly and wordlessly, blinded by the rage which consumed me.

"Kai, stop that!" I heard Bryan yell, his voice too close for my liking. Before I knew it, a hand encircled my arm, pulling me backwards. Drew fell down to the floor, once I'd been held back.

"Control yourself, would you?" Bryan said, his voice low but I just snarled in response, yanking my arms free of his hold. I had intended to punch the guy again, but Bryan grabbed my arms.

"Have you lost your mind?" His voice rose, now, echoing along the empty corridor. Drew, from where he kneeled down on the floor, smiled smugly at me, blood dripping from his mouth.

I suppressed another growl. _Lost my mind?_I had lost my mind when I left Hillary to deal with this drama herself, I had lost it when I didn't stop this guy the moment I'd found out, I had lost my mind when I decided to wait for Hillary to ask for my help; I was definitely in a sane state of mind right now! I was_ finally_ doing what I should have done a long time ago…

"How _dare_ he…" In my anger, I didn't even know what to say. I tried struggling against Bryan's hold once again; it felt like I hadn't hit the bastard enough, I was barely satisfied with what I'd done to him.

"I _warned _you to stay AWAY from her!" I yelled abrubtly, my voice showing every ounce of anger I was feeling, yet it didn't show enough. Bryan, in an attempt to hold me back again, tightened his hold.

Drew leered arrogantly at me, raising himself so, that he was half-way up. Instinctively, I reached out for him, intending to push him back down, but Tala beat me to it; he grabbed the bastard, and pushed him back, away from me.

But Drew's smirk only widened at Tala's actions. He looked up at me, as if he was about to say something, but Tala kicked him from behind. I watched as he fell back to the floor, spitting out some blood; that made me more furious than ever. It wasn't THEIR battle, that bastard was MINE to hit….Who gave Tala the right to hit him anyway? And who gave Bryan the right to hold me back?

Blinded, once again, by the fury, I made another lunge at the ass but Spencer's voice interrupted it, "Calm down."

Calm down? I growled inwardly again, _Control_ myself? I've been doing that for all this time, hadn't I? And look where it has led; Hillary was in the hospital battered and bruised. It was _this_ guys' fault, and he was going to pay for it_ so_ bad….

"I didn't _consider_ your warning, then." Drew started again, as if nothing had really happened. He had that same proud smile on his face, and he got up from the tiled floor, only to smile more widely at me. "She wasn't supposed to tell anyone…"

He trailed off, cocking his head to the side. He was completely up by now. I realized what he was doing; testing my fury again. Once again, he'd discovered my weakness, and he was using it against me. But where would that get him? He wasn't going to survive in one piece if he continued this…

"So I made her _pay…"_

Before I knew it, I had already sprung at him; the moment was so unexpected that even Bryan –who'd lost his guard a while ago – couldn't hold me back. Before anyone could react to what had happened, Drew was already pinned to the wall, with me in front of him.

"Don't listen to him, Kai!" Bryan yelled, grabbing my hand as it went for Drew's face.

"Let me go, Bryan!" I yelled at him, pushing him away. An image formed in front of my eyes; Hillary, pinned up against the wall, scared, bleeding…How far had he gone with her?

"I slammed her up against the wall," Drew continued, despite his position; did he not realize that he was completely under my mercy now? "Till, she had nowhere to run away to, and then I messed around with her a little bit…"

"Don't let him get to you, Kai!" Tala's voice interrupted, but I ignored him again; it seemed too easy. I knew he was right, but the rage that was boiling inside me was completely out of my control now. I could feel it explode; like a volcano, when it didn't have the capacity anymore, bursting out everything it kept inside itself.

I kept hitting Drew on the face, lashing out my anger in just the right way; I should've done this long ago.

"Stop this RIGHT now!" In my temper, I couldn't even tell who was yelling at me to stop.

Drew tried to break free, but I was too strong for him. I didn't know if I'd get my chance again, Hillary wouldn't let me do this. I wanted to leave no regrets for myself. The guys had also decided to back off, I didn't know what had convinced them to do so, but I hardly cared right then.

"What's the point now?" Drew leered when I pulled back a little bit, his lips bleeding from all the times I had hit him. "I did all I wanted to do in the first place."

I didn't have to try hard to ignore what he was saying; my thoughts were only revolving around ending his miserable existence. It was vague in my mind, how much time I spend hitting him. I obviously had the advantage here, training in hand to hand combat for years in the abbey, Drew wasn't able to free himself from my grasp. Though, he had managed to land a few kicks to my guts, and a punch straight to my jaw, in an attempt at defense.

As I was about to hit him once more, I felt someone pull me back forcefully. I was standing a few feet from the wall, panting from all the adrenaline rush. Drew – in agonizing pain— fell to the floor on all fours. He spat some blood out again, before looking up to glare at me; his eyes still had that malicious glint and — after all I had put him through— he was still smirking.

"That's enough, Kai," Spencer said in a foremost tone, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I just kept glaring down at the Drew, as if Spencer had said nothing. Even though every fiber of my being wanted to end his life then and there, and break him beyond recognition, I only just stood there, trying to catch my breath. My anger hadn't left me yet, I felt like whatever damage I'd done wasn't enough to justify his actions; this was just half the revenge I'd been hoping for him to get. I bent a little, ready to pick up where I'd left off...

"What is going on here?" I heard the authoritative voice of Mr. Dickenson, breaking me off. I removed my gaze from Drew's beat up figure on the floor, and turned around slowly to see the horrified expression on his face. I wiped some blood from my lips, waiting for Mr. Dickenson to catch up to the scene in front of him. A flash of anger passed his features, followed by a glint of disappointment. Apparently, he hadn't expected this type of blasphemy from me. I doubted he'd be this disappointed though, once I told him my reasons.

My eyes turned warily back at Drew –who was now too injured to hold himself upright—and then to the Blitzkrieg Boys. Mr. Dickenson was still staring at me expectantly… I suppressed a groan, thinking about the explanations I had to offer now. Hillary would _not _be happy if the others found out…

XXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

_**So, pretty unexpected, eh? ;p Now, looking back, every single thing Kai has ever done and said, in this story, is taking on a different meaning, right?**_

_**Anyways, once again sorry to thegoldenlocket; I hope this covers up and that you're not TOO disappointed. **_

_**Thank you Kai-Hil-Lover, who put her sadistic mind to help me out with this chapter; the whole scene between the B-boys, Kai and Drew was written by her. Well, not completely, I don't want anyone to think that she wrote half the chapter for me. That makes me sound evil…lol! Well, she IS the one who made Kai throw all the punches, and the one who'd made Drew bleed. The dialogues were mine and as you can see, KHL, that I've changed that scene, you know, just rearranged it and all. But, still, no denying that this chapter wouldn't have been possible without you. The whole credit of the brawl, the scene EVERY single person has been waiting for, I'm sure, goes to you….:) I can't thank you enough for this, ever….**_

_**Review and tell me how it was people! Was it emo? Was it dark? Do you guys want another Kai/Drew scene (Personally, if KHL is up for it, I'd love to read and write another one…;p But that would be too lame, then.). Just let me know…:)**_

_**Signing off…**_


	15. Confrontations

**Chapter 16: Confrontations**

"Do something about this before I end up losing my mind!"

There was an angry thud as my hand slammed down on the wooden table, and Mr. Dickenson winced.

"And _he's_ not going to be spared if I do!" I spat, mindless of the shock that Mr. Dickenson's expression radiated at the venom in my words. I was infuriated, to say the least, and had it not been for Bryan and Tala on either sides of me –ready to pull me back if I tried—I'd have run down to the hospital wing and beat the crap out of the bastard there and then, all over again. I had given up trying to control myself the moment I'd laid my eyes on Drew, and it seemed too much of work to attempt and do it now. The fact that the said-ass was, at the moment, in the room just next to Hillary's, getting stitched up, didn't exactly help my temper. Sure, he wouldn't be able to cause anyone harm what with the injuries I'd inflicted upon him, especially not with Spencer there but the very thought of him even within a ten-mile radius near Hillary—with _me _not being there— made me edgy.

"Sit down, Kai." Mr. Dickenson motioned towards the chair across him. The calmness of his tone –compared to the spite in my thoughts—made me growl but, after a look from the BBA Chairman, I did what I was told.

Mr. Dickenson heaved a sigh, looking over at Tala and Bryan, before retracing his gaze back towards me again.

"How long has this been going on for?"

His voice was resolute but something in his eyes contradicted his tone. I had told him Hillary's condition—he'd seen her on our way here—and the fact that Drew was the only one responsible for it… I guessed that he, too –like me—had a soft spot for our coach because after that, I barely saw a single trace of the disappointment in his eyes that I'd seen an hour ago, when he'd caught me in my act of vile fury.

But that didn't mean he wasn't concerned….In fact, when we told him about Drew attacking other players, he seemed downright angry.

"The very beginning." Bryan replied when I didn't, "The All Stars forfeiting, it was his team. Even before that, he had damaged Dranzer enough that Kai couldn't compete. But the BladeBreakers had an extra team member or they'd have forfeited as well."

Mr. Dickenson rubbed his temples, looking equally as frustrated as I felt. His gaze landed on me, and in a reprimanding tone, he spoke,

"Why wasn't I informed of this sooner?"

But I was already in a rush to run back to Hillary, so I couldn't help the exasperation.  
"We had no proof." I spoke, "The All Star's never saw who attacked them. End of story."

Mr. Dickenson, however, was equally as impatient as me.

"But _you _did!" He retorted back, "You saw who attacked you!"

"I had my reasons not to tell." I clenched my teeth. I had assumed that the entire thing concerned no-one but Hillary—till, of course, Emily had been attacked—so I had no reason to even _think_ him of doing anything else till he was already done.

"If you suspected someone," Mr. Dickenson continued, "It was your _responsibility_to inform me, Kai."

Just those words of his…and the heat in the room suddenly rose. It sounded as if that was all he cared about…the tournament the bladers. Now that all the teams had lost and left, wasn't Hillary's more of a pressing matter?

"I apologize that I didn't." My voice was forced, but it rose a bit at the end. "Can we please just deal with the actual crises here and get this over with?"

For a while, no-one spoke. I ground my teeth together in frustration again. Here I was, wasting my time offering explanations while Drew—of all people—was merely a few feet away from Hillary. Spencer being there wasn't enough, I needed the guy _away _from her.

"How long has she been enduring all of this?"

Mr. Dickenson's voice was low. Very low. Almost a whisper. And the uncomfortable tone of it caught my attention, making me look up to see the sudden remorse on his face.

"I don't know." I replied. I had to look away then, because his expression- right there- somewhat irked me; made me realize how much Hillary had been hiding, how much was _still_ hidden. And if there was anything that would make me angrier then, it was probably the realization that Hillary had _never _told me anything, that I _still _didn't know much, and whatever that I did, I'd found out on my own.

"Is there something I can do?" Mr. Dickenson said with the same tone, "Anything to help?"

It didn't take me long to come up with a reply, there was one thing that had been on my mind all along, but before I could speak however…

"Get him out." Tala interrupted, speaking for the first time."Disqualify him."

It took a while for me, and Mr. Dickenson, to register to his words. Suddenly, the penitent exchange was forgotten.

"We can't–"

"No way!" I cut Mr. Dickenson off, turning angrily towards Tala. "He's staying! Mr. Dickenson, I–"

"You wanna battle him, we know." Bryan clicked his tongue. "Typical."

I growled, standing up in my seat, the anger from before resurfacing.  
"He needs to be taught a lesson!"  
"And you think _you're _the one to teach him it?" He scoffed. "Is revenge all you care about?"

My jaw tightened, my fists clenched. Bryan didn't even move. I was about to retort but-

"He's right, you know." Tala inferred. "Battling isn't going to fix anything. The guy, Drew….him being here isn't exactly safe for your friend."

"I'm _keeping _her safe!" I argued, but even I expected what came next.

"Like you did today?" Bryan's retorted. "Like you did _before_ that? Please! As long as he's here, so close around, it is _not _safe for her. And there's nothing you can do about it."

I was quiet, then. And I was glad Mr. Dickenson decided to break the silence because I didn't have anything to say.

"He's not going." I realized the apology in his voice, the resolution in his tone but was too caught up in his words to dwell upon in.

Someone must've been about to say something, because Mr. Dickenson raised his palm up, a gesture of demanding silence.

"It's too late." He stated, his lips forming a thin line. "His team's already into the finale. Disqualifying, or even penalizing the member of a team in the finale is not an option. Not a single person in-charge would agree to it—"

He raised his hand again to stop me from protesting.

"_Even_ if they knew the truth about Hillary and Drew..." He looked apologetic then, "It doesn't change anything. And I can't make decisions like these alone. If I _did_, however, then the media, vile as it is these days, will surely find out. My fellow judges may argue that it won't do good for the BBA image. But—"

He paused, but continued before any of us could speak.

"—more important is the fact that millions of dollars, and bunches more of efforts have gone into organizing this tournament. We'd hate for that to go to waste, which it _will _if the previous teams started demanding rematches for having been cheated out of their chances of winning. After all, had the disqualified-team been disqualified before, another team would've had the chance to win."

He stopped his speech, only to look sternly in my direction.  
"And it isn't as if we _can _say something against him in the first place, now that Kai's done."

It took me a moment to realize what he'd meant.

_Right_. I thought, feeling guilty. No point in involving the authorities when I'd already evened both the sides out by giving the ass the bloody bruises all over his face. Now, he had evidence against us too.

"So, Kai, what do you want me to do?"

I blinked at the plump man, my mind racing too fast. My previous apprehension suddenly returned at the expression on his face.

Guilt or no guilt, there was no stopping the battle against Drew. And only one rampaging thought was creating the tempest that my mind was right then…

"Hillary." I muttered distractedly, already at the door before anyone could help it. I looked at Mr. Dickenson's anxious face. "Help me keep her safe."

Before I closed the door and headed straight towards the hospital wing, I saw Mr. Dickenson nod—almost as if he completely understood.**  
**

* * *

I had the misfortune of meeting the object of my fury one more time that night, and I wondered how many time it would happen before I finally snapped—if I hadn't already. Drew stared at me from across the room, hidden carefully behind Spencer's large built; I replied with a blank look. From where I stood at the door, my eyes kept drifting back at the end of the hallway, at another door which was half open, a dim light emerging from the inside.

"I see you had a _chat _with the old man." He spoke, eyes glinting maliciously, despite the fact that he was in a hospital, injured and bleeding with a nurse still tending to his broken nose. He had no shame… "What lies did you feed him to try and get me out?"

Something about the way he voiced his words told me he knew the entire outcome of our 'chat' already. He sounded amused and I couldn't help but narrow my eyes at the disrespectful spite in his words. Still, I didn't speak. He'd played with me enough before, and it wasn't going to happen again. As soon as he would be bandaged up, and out of the ward, I'd go back to Hillary. I'd have gone sooner, but I didn't want him knowing where she was…so I'd stayed put when I'd seen him.

"Hmph." He snorted, "You sure had a lot to say a while ago." His eyes met my indifferent—or so I hoped—gaze and his smirk widened. "It was the rage talking, I see. After all, I did-"

He paused, cocking his head to the side, my fist tightened and I could swear I heard Spencer growl at his next words.  
"…._hurt _Hillary."

I couldn't meet his eyes then, because, dare I say it, I was afraid he'd see the wildness in mine; I deliberately directed myself at the nurse dabbing some antiseptic at an open wound on the side of his face, and felt great satisfaction at having been the cause of it.

"I'm wondering what it'll take to make you speak," He continued, mindless of both—Spencer and mine—of our expressions. We knew he was playing with us, and he confirmed it; "It's kind of fun watching how wildly you react to everything I do."

I was surprised at how calm I was being through the entire ordeal. Really, I'd have snapped his neck a while ago. But, what good would that do to anyone? Me, committing what I had a earlier, it had only made things a bit worse than they already were. Maybe there was a chance, a small chance, a small penalty; anything to make him suffer even a little bit, had I not interfered in the process…But then again, I thought looking over to his bleeding figure, this was probably much, much better. I couldn't say I regretted it.

"And now I'm wondering how Hillary's doing…" My eyes landed back on his again, my head unmoving but he paid me no mind, "I hope I didn't _hurt_ her_-_" He smiled at my cringe, "too much. Although, for several reasons, she knows she deserved much more than what she got."

That made me snap my head towards him almost instantly. Several reasons? Much more? He was making me want to search an empty site on his body for inflicting another bloody injury again.

"Silent, aren't we?" He smirked knowingly, but thankfully, didn't say more. Seriously, the guy was pathetic; trying to get me to snap. I didn't know what he wanted, but honestly, if Hillary's name rolled off his tongue _one _more time…

It wasn't until the nurse backed away from him, having done her job, did I look at him next. For the first time that night, I saw what I had really done. I could see, by the way he moved, that the kicks to his guts had done their part in harming him quite justly. Various parts of his face—a swollen and bleeding lip, a broken nose, a purple eye, and a bruised cheek bone—satisfied me more than I would've liked to admit. Pleased, I watched him limp his way towards where I was standing at the door way. The smugness on his face remained, but I hardly cared…He'd be out in a few seconds, and then I could go back to Hillary.

I stepped sideways, towards the right, allowing enough space for him to pass through the door but hovering protectively over the direction which led to Hillary's room. I knew he wasn't going to go sprinting about there, not that he even _had_the strength to sprint, but it was a rather instinctual action. It made him smirk again when he realized it, staring behind me for just a few seconds before halting just in front of me at the door.

"Don't worry," He said rather calmly than I'd have liked, the corners of his mouth turning upwards in a twisted smile, "I'm not going to cause any more damage. She-" He pursed his lips, as if thinking, "—has a thing of mine that needs returning. Just pass on this message to her, will you?"

Hillary, I thought, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary….It was all I could do to keep calm. She wouldn't want me doing what I was thinking of doing. She was too close by. The situation was already messed up enough…_I _had messed up enough.

"Are you done?" I said, speaking for the very first time. My voice was a steady drawl, bored and apathetic yet, even _I _could hear the threat carefully hidden underneath. I wondered if that was made his eyes glint in amusement.

"Overprotective much?" He remarked, raising an eyebrow, "Be that way, Hiwatari. Just remember-" Thankfully, he'd turned around and was already walking towards the exit so he couldn't see my face twist into a deathly snarl at his next words. "—you can't always protect her. I hardly ever miss getting what I want."

* * *

It was around five in the morning, and I'd spent the entire night at the seat next to Hillary's make-shift bed, trying to get myself to go to sleep. It was hard, and I couldn't say I was succeeding. My thoughts were a hurricane of blaring emotions, raging on and on with not a single sign of the winds reducing their vigor. There was guilt, there was intense anger, there was the strange covet for revenge all over again…

It made me cringe and, unknowingly, my eyes snapped open to the white ceiling before I turned towards Hillary's sleeping figure.

_Nothing_….The small word reverberated in my mind again and again. There was nothing that I could do. Nothing even Mr. Dickenson could do. What I _had _done, however, was something that Drew had probably _wanted _me to do had he known that this would be the consequence– and looking back on how smug he'd been all throughout, he probably did.

And now he had us cornered….he probably even knew that too. He was staying. The psychopath who'd actually severely _hurt_ Hillary was _staying…._

I couldn't really say I wasn't blaming myself for that. Stupid, I had been, to fall so easily into what was clearly a carefully designated web that I would've avoided under normal circumstances. Not only that, but I'd dragged Hillary down with me, instead of helping her out of her own.

Drew had won…and I'd _let _him.

And as long as he was here, near Hillary, anything could happen. He could get her hands on her, I hadn't missed the threat in his last words to me. He could do much, _much _worse than he already had. What if I weren't there for her, again? What if _no-one _was there for her?

Cringing at the thoughts, I straightened up in my chair. Hillary was breathing steadily, deep in slumber though she was lying in what looked like an uncomfortable position. She was rolled over on her stomach, her body tilted carefully to one side so as not to press against her wounded shoulder. The comforter covered her entire figure, leaving only her neck and face visible, and even they were half hidden in the pillow. Drearily, almost unconsciously, my eyes fell on the crimson taints on the white bandages around the back of her head, noticing how they'd darkened, how the reddishness had widened, over the past few hours.

Wait…

Before I knew it, I was already standing, my gaze hovering over her, my palms already pressed against her back, pushing the covers aside. What I saw made me reach out for the small button on the bedside table…red, tainting, increasing, spreading all over. By the time the nurse arrived, all my previous apprehensions had banished, only to be replaced by new ones when I explained the situation to the stout little woman, and saw in her eyes the expressions that couldn't necessarily be considered positive.

"This isn't good…" The woman said in an undertone when she was done examining Hillary's covered wounds. Taking a step back, I watched –unsure and somewhat numb—as she exited the room and came back with another –slightly younger—woman who, after turning on the lights in the room, rummaged through the drawers by the bed and took out a needle.

The next few seconds were a complete blur. They two women hovered over Hillary, taking off the covers, pressing their fingers to her skin. Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought she looked paler than she'd been before.

"…The wounds…too deep…"

"…Aren't healing fast enough…"

"…She's too cold…"

"….blood loss…"

And I just stood there, frozen….silently watching her eyes flicker for a bit when the nurses moved her so they could extend her arm, watching as the blood filled the small needle slowly to the top, watching as Hillary squirmed unconsciously back into a comfortable position, watching as the nurses left without a single word…I watched, but never really saw.

_The wounds aren't healing fast enough_… My mind was hazy…_Too much blood loss_. I knew what that meant and it took all I had, every ounce of my energy, to force myself to sit back down and just _be _here this time. As if on cue, my gaze fell on the bloody Tee-shirt thrown across the chair on the other side of the room, the one Hillary had been wearing at the match yesterday….

My eyes snapped shut at the sight. My fists clenched.

She wasn't healing fast enough to contain her blood…She was going to need someone else's…

* * *

I watched, standing by the door, as Tala –who'd stayed when I'd left to freshen up—pulled the covers around Hillary's waist, straightening the pillows into a comfortable position for her to lean against. He put an arm around her, helped her lean up against the bed-rest before taking a small step back. Hillary's drearily looked up to his figure, muttered what sounded like a 'Thank you' before closing her eyelids again. She looked….exhausted.

Taking a deep breath, trying to compose myself, I took a step into the room, trying hard not to look at the small inverted bottle next to her bed, the tube attached to it that led somewhere under the sheets. I tried to be quiet, but apparently, wasn't doing a good job at it, for –just a few footsteps later—Hillary raised her head at the sound, her eyes opened in a tedious motion to reveal dreary-looking crimson orbs.

I could only watch, feeling sicker by the second, as her now-pale lips parted slightly in a small smile, before whispering a small, "Hey." Maybe it was just me, but she looked tired, and _extremely _weak…and paler than she'd been yesterday.

_It's the blood loss_, I told myself but that didn't stop the slowly-growing urge in me to snap my eyes shut and refrain myself from seeing her like this. Nor did it keep me from feeling angrier than I already was.

I sat myself down in the same seat as yesterday, at Hillary's left and –desperate for a distraction—finally spoke up.

"How are you feeling?"

She didn't seemed to have noticed my expression yet, nor had she seen the apprehension in Tala's…though it worried me—she was quick on analyzing faces usually—but at the moment, I was a bit glad. I didn't want to worry her…Eventually, she'd find out, sure, but not now. Not when I was so sure I would lose my composure at the slightest reminder of last night's events.

"Tired, really." She murmured, and my jaws clenched at the lowness of her voice…again, she failed to notice. "I don't know why, though…I slept fine."

She took a deep breath, and I tried to ignore how exhausted it had sounded. Blood loss, blood loss, I kept repeating in my head. Happens all the time, people get blood on numerous occasions….They turn out fine, right?

Right.

Hillary would be fine, too…she just needed a few days to recover.

Strangely, that didn't provide me any comfort….and why would it? It wasn't exactly what I was worried about. The wounds would heal, under proper care, and the blood loss could be treated. Though it aggravated me to see her the way she was right now, but I knew that –given time and just the right treatment— I wouldn't have to anymore. What _actually _concerned me about her current state had nothing to do with it worsening slightly…

A broken bone. Bruises. Swellings. A shoulder cut _so _ruthlessly….And, blood…so much blood. I resisted the urge to cringe. If someone had the guts to do _this _much damage, in a public place, with no fear of being caught, then…would he even hesitate if he had the chance to do it again?

"Kai?"

The slight glumness in Hillary's voice made me look up, only to see her frowning face. Had I zoned out?

"You zoned out." She confirmed my thoughts.

"Yeah." Shaking my head to get rid of the slightly-infuriating thoughts, I apologized. She gave me an unsure look, and opened her mouth to say something –probably to argue, if I knew her right—but I stopped her before she could, putting a hand on the covers, at the spot where I could see the outline of her fingers.

"Not now, Hils." I said, smiling a bit, despite myself, when she pursed her lips in what was clearly indignation. "You need to rest a while."

I could see that she'd agreed with me, for she rested her head back against the wall behind the bed again; it was a while before she spoke again, "I've never been so exhausted." She breathed, staring at me with half-open eyes. "Are you sure there's nothing wrong with me?"

I was already struggling to ignore the dreary way her lips had moved to voice the words, how weak they'd come off sounding so when the question came– especially the way it sounded as if it had been voiced before—I was completely caught off guard.

My hands hardened on hers, suddenly uncomfortable. Her eyebrows knitted together. But it was neither of us who spoke next…

"It's the blood loss."

I was glad, once again, for Tala's presence; I'd nearly forgotten he was in the same room. Hillary turned her head slightly in his direction, and I guessed he must've gestured towards her side, because it was only moments later that she was blinking at the stand there, which held the blood-containing bottle.

But her confusion lasted as soon as it had come, and before I knew it, she muttered an understanding "Right," and was already rested back against the wall again, staring at the ceiling, leaving me to blinking perplexedly at her…apathy

Right? _Right?_ I almost scoffed out loud. Was that _all _she had to say? Maybe she too –like me—had realized that it'd get better with time, but…she shouldn't look so strangely unaffected by the new knowledge.

I knitted my eyebrows together. Strangely unaffected….Just like I was.

So….that meant….  
"You're scared." I stated, without any warning. Hillary's questioning eyes landed on me at the abruptness of my statement, her head unmoving.

Before she could respond, however, before she could even adjust herself to fully look at me, I lifted my hands off hers on the sheets and pulled the sheets down from her waist. Pale hands revealed themselves, and furtively, my gaze landed on the small curve of her wrists where purple blotches –clear fingerprints—stood, now looking almost blackish in color against the lighter skin. One wrist—the left one—had marks slightly darker in shade, more intense-looking and occupying a much wider area on the skin.

Carefully, unconsciously, I grabbed her fingers, trying not to touch her further than her joints…she was cold. Much too cold for my liking, and again, her condition stroke in me feelings I didn't want to feel, or reveal, just yet.

"Don't be." I muttered, "This will never happen again."

It sounded as if I was trying to assure myself, rather than her—and I probably was—but she didn't seem to have noticed. In fact, I didn't even see her move, or speak. I didn't dare look at her, afraid I might give myself away.

For some strange reason, it comforted me, having her here where I could see her, feel her, hear her. Vulnerable as she was right then, I didn't think I had it in me to leave her side in the first place. And I realized that, to do that, to be there for her, I had to control myself….no point in me staying here, if seeing me the way I was, was the cost. I was sure it'd worry her, scare her even…I didn't want that.

So, I smiled. I looked up, and gave a small smile of assurance, hoping she'd buy it. She looked a bit perplexed, but…  
"I know." She answered, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards.

I bit my lips but said nothing. Fake….I'd seen it enough to recognize it by now. What was she trying to hide from me?

Tala coughed, suddenly, interrupting the silent exchange.

"We still have to be careful, though." He stared meaningfully at me when I turned. "As long as he's here, she needs to-"

"He's staying?" Hillary interrupted, and both of us turned to look at the sudden fear in her eyes. My hands tightened around her fingers at the abruptness of her retort.

"He's in the finals, Hils." I spoke gently, "The finalists can't exactly leave. Standard protocol."

It took a while for her to say the small "Oh," that she did and I was glad she didn't pick up my lie. It wasn't exactly standard protocol, after all, more than it was me spinning out of control again. I didn't want her to know that.

"You're safe." I assured her, again, "I promise."

"I know." She repeated.

But she sounded unsure. And only then did I realize the reason behind the fake smile of hers a while ago.

Mistrust. I would've protested, assured her, assured _myself_ but my brain couldn't form the words. So I stared as Hillary closed her eyes and leaned back against the bed-rest again, knowing—despite myself—that she was right in not trusting us enough to keep her safe.

* * *

**AN:**

**First things first, I was reading back over it…I think I might have gone a bit over with Hillary-being-injured thing….I think. But, then again, a blade that could dent an entire wall had slashed her shoulders so….I stand by the blood loss. I mean, I couldn't have gone without it….she has to had SOME health problems. Besides, blood loss is temporary. It gets fixed in no time. So, no problem there…I think. I hope.**

**Aside from that, guess what? This Document was 15 point 10. Insert huge pause. I'm serious. It actually took me ten documents, one reaching up to the length of 14, 000 words even, to get this done. It was SO damn hard! REALLY! This chapter is all that I've been working on for SOO damn long. A month? More than a month. Even then, I'm not exactly satisfied with it...much. I am not. And don't blame me. There were a gazillion ways this story would've gone. A gazillion. I mean, how would Mr. Dickenson react? How will the guys react? (Still not sure on that one) How will Kai react? (Kai's been the most difficult. For obvious reasons.) How would Hillary react to them reacting? I mean, they could be angry, they could yell, they could be disappointed, they could be understanding. Eventually, they'd be understanding, but obviously, there's going to be a lot of painful words before it reaches that point…or so I thought. Would Hillary be comfortable if Kai went around telling everyone everything? I mean, he kinda did…How the HELL will she tell Kai, anyways? Well, I tried jotting it all down. Everything. Each and every reaction in different perspective. I think I have more than 20, 000 words written down just for this chapter, with everyone reacting in every different way. That was what took so long because it got out of hand, every reaction was tempting, but every one had flaws that would lead to problems in the further chapters. *sighs* Eventually, I settled for an inert Kai. He's not saying much, I know, through the entire chapter (except with Mr. D) but I think I started messing up when Kai started to say something in retort. So I mute him. -_-**

**Anyhoo, no fluffy-ness. I am aware. But, really, this had to be done. There have to be boring bits in the fic. For the next chapter, I'm going to be using a few of the many scenes that I wrote down. They just need to be arranged. I'm opting for an angry-friends-scenario, you know. Because angry confrontations are easy to write, when everyone's just yelling things and saying stuff they would normally not say and there come a lot of…twists there. But, I can't create a scene that would lead up to an angry Hils, or Kai. Or Tyson, or an angry-anyone.**

**See? So many problems. This was an EXTREMELY hard-to-write chapter. Aside from that, I know, I'm not updating as I planned. But, again, don't blame me. It's hard to find inspiration to write for a dead fandom. Beyblade is as dead as a log turned into a toilet paper. -_- Or so, I think. Plus, I'm getting slow….I mean, I used to write quickly; a chapter per day, but I've gone to a chapter per MONTH. Apologies to anyone who might have been waiting on the updates (though I highly doubt there are many).**

**And I'm ranting. I hate ranting in ANs. I'm just so happy this is done, that's all. Enough ranting. Lols. Feel free to review. And to point out any mistakes if you find (PLEASE do that, no matter how minor it might be). Hope someone enjoyed. Signing off.**


	16. Going Back and Staying Still

**Chapter 16: Going Back and Staying Still**

I stared blankly at the pale hand outstretched in front of me, and then up to the amused aquamarine eyes of its owner, then at the awaiting nurse on my right and then back again.

"What? I'm not going to bite."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the teasing comment, and Tala smirked when I put my hand into his. It was warm. Or maybe I was too cold? I couldn't tell.

"I doubt I need to take this precautionary measure, though." I spoke as I adjusted myself to the right, with Tala's help, and managed to land my feet off the bed. The nurse moved from her place, and put a hand against my forehead, craning my neck in response and forcing me to look up.

"I doubt that you _don't_." I narrowed my eyes at the amusement in Tala's voice, but he continued, "You've lost too much blood. You need to-"  
"Learn how to walk?"  
"—Check your limits." He finished, rolling his eyes at my interruption. Thankfully, the nurse removed her hand from my face and stepped back; I glared at Tala but I wondered how I looked because he only raised his eyebrow in an amused gesture.

"Why do we need to 'check my limits' anyways?" I attempted after a while, staring down at my toes when they touched the floor, and I straightened up. I knew I was weak, I could feel it; the smallest of gestures were taking a lot of energy than they would normally have taken. My head felt heavy, shoulders were aching and I was struggling just to keep my eyes fully open; I was exhausted and felt somewhat…warm, as if I had a fever. But, I refused to let it show. And while I knew that Tala was right in implying that I was a bit 'fragile' right now, the thought of accepting it made me cringe; I wasn't going to show any weakness.

"Am I being moved somewhere?"

I was completely up by the point, standing with my arms outstretched on my sides in an attempt to balance my weight. I felt slightly dizzy, I had to admit, but I thought I was doing okay. Triumphantly, I looked up at Tala when he let go of my hand, leaving me to stand on my own; he was looking down at me as if I'd slip any moment. That kind of made me uncomfortable…exactly how weak did I look?

"Hmm." He said in affirmation when I took a step towards him. Then another. And another. "Back to the suite, yes."

And then I tripped.

It happened a bit too fast for me to catch; Tala raised his arms to stop me from falling, but maybe the gesture was so sudden that he couldn't take the abrupt extra weight of my body colliding into his. So, before I knew it, Tala and I were both on our knees on the floor with my hands on his shoulders, supporting the weight that my knees had refused to, and his hands were encircled around my arms from when he'd tried to balance me.

And we were close. Too close. Our noses almost touched. That was the position I was in when my mind became fully aware of what had happened.  
"Moron." Tala instigated, pushing me away before I could react. Both of us leaned back, and I pushed my palms on the floor behind me, craning back my neck to hide the blush that now tainted my cheeks.

What the hell was that? I wanted to scream, but all that came out was a small mangled little gasp.

"The suite." I breathed, closing my eyes against the blood that rushed painfully through my skull at the sudden previous movements. I felt faint, "Why?"

It was silent for a while, and I began to wonder if Tala had heard my question, so I parted my lips to repeat again. Surprisingly, I couldn't hear my voice. I gasped at the cold hand that met my closed eyes, at the familiar arms around my waist.

"Hardly your concern right now." Tala whispered, trying to help me up. But the slight motion made me nauseated and I stayed put.  
"Don't." I protested when his hold tightened around my waist, "Just wait."

I didn't know how he reacted to me, but I hardly cared. The rush of the blood that as it passed through my wounds at the rapid motions before was getting more painful by the second, the intensity of it left me panting. I could feel hands, smaller ones, push against my skin at different points, I felt something cold—glass?—against my lips as someone tried to get me to drink something, I could feel Tala's hands rub my back in a soothing gesture but it took a while for me to come to my senses.

"Better." I mumbled after a few minutes, as I finally opened my eyes to see a concerned-looking Tala, bent on his knees in front of me, an arm still around my waist. His eyebrows were furrowed as he studied my face. "Blood rush." He gave me a sarcastic stare and my attempt at nonchalance.

I breathed deeply and turned my head to reply….and froze.

"Hillary?"

Standing there at the door, half-way in, his expression a weird concoction of shock and concern, was none other than Kai himself. "What's going on?"

Tala tensed, instantly moving his hand away from around me as if I'd burned him. But Kai stared down at us, eyes moving from Tala, to me, then narrowing at the small gap in between, then right back at me. I didn't dare move, but I had my reasons. Right then, as Kai stared coldly at Tala—who wasn't that much far from me—I was wondering what were Tala's.

"I…" I tried, watching as he walked across the room to stand over us, "….tripped?"

And then he froze, eyes widening as he stared down at me. "What?"

"She's a moron." Was all Tala said, earning him another stoic glare from his best-friend. Tala merely shrugged, and finally, moved away, "A rather _heavy _moron."

I narrowed my eyes at the red-head, "You _shocked _me into tripping!" Tala raised an eyebrow at my futile attempt at an angry tone.

"Stop talking." Kai snapped when I opened my mouth to speak, sitting down in front of me. I glared over his shoulder at the triumphant expression on Tala's face. Had I the energy, I'd have bruised his play-boy face by now. Tala Ivanov, I came to a conclusion, is an asshole.

"What did you say to her?" Kai took note of my position, sprawled on my knees on the floor, leaning against the side of my make-shift bed, before putting an arm around me, easily lifting me up on my feet in an instant. Kai turned to look questioningly at Tala, who –too—had stood up, as I struggled to catch my breath. Note to self, no sudden movements. Period.

"Told her we're moving her." He replied simply, unaware of the uneasiness his words brought back to me. I wondered…  
"Because," Tala stressed, as if reading my mind, "Kai doesn't think its safe here for you." He looked entertained, when Kai tensed, "He has to have you under constant eye, and the nurses here don't exactly allow that."

I sat down on the bed, lowering Kai as I did so—as his arm was still around me. Thankfully, he was too busy glaring daggers at Tala- giving off silent undertones that even in my hazy state-of-mind looked deadly- to notice my blush.

"Overprotective much?"  
"Just go away."

There was a scoff, clearly from Tala, but Kai decided not to answer; he turned on his heels, landing his gaze upon me.  
"How're you feeling?" He asked as his arm let go of my waist and he moved a step back to look at me. I opened my mouth to answer, but found Kai looking away, at the nurse besides him. I had forgotten, in the entire mess of the last few minutes, that she was here.

"Not good." She pursed her lips under Kai's gaze, before turning towards the notepad in her hands. "She's lost a lot of blood and the slow pace at which her injuries are healing isn't exactly helpful." She clicked her tongue as she stared at the notepad, "The blood loss has rendered her weak, she can barely walk. I suggest you move her quick so we can reattach these-" she pointed with her pen, at the inverted bottle of blood on a stand and a bunch of wires, "—and continue with her treatment." She looked directly at me, scrutinizing my state, "The sooner, the better."

Kai grunted, clearly not pleased. The playful expression on Tala's face was wiped off as soon as the nurse stopped speaking, and he threw Kai a meaningful look, but he had already turned towards me, his forehead creased with a new sort of apprehension.

"You heard her, Hils." Was all he said, as he stretched his hand in front of me, waiting for me to take it. I didn't fail to notice that his other one was coiled into a fist, shaking uncontrollably by his side.

* * *

That night, I lay in my bed back at the suite, contemplating. It had been a dull day, and I had spent most of it lying where I was. I'd been moved here within half-an-hour, the equipments already around the sides of my beds, bringing in the sickening feel of the hospital that I dreaded so much. I tried to comfort myself with the fact that I would be off of blood in just another day…and the equipments will be gone. At least that's what the nurse had said when I'd asked, adding something about taking the supplements right. I promised I would.

Thankfully, when I'd arrived, the apartment was empty; indicating that the guys were out for training. They came around by night, when I was ready to go to sleep; I had heard footsteps—more than just one—echo outside my room, heard Tyson's somewhat angry voice, before everything went quiet again.

I had guessed they'd gone to sleep. Though, I did hear the door to my room open, and then close again. I was too sleepy to look when it had.

As for Kai…I was actually glad that he hadn't stuck to his word of sleeping in the same room as mine tonight. Not only would that have been awkward, considering our little 'exchange' after I had oh-so-dutifully fallen asleep into his arms, but it would've led to me strangling him in his sleep. For some strange reason, he'd been exceptionally distant today. Aside from our little exchange in the hospital—which I was sure now, was more out of shock rather than anything else— we hadn't spoken at all the entire day. After everything that had happened, to think he'd have _something _to say, but really, no, he didn't.

Had I not known Kai better, I'd have thought he was feeling…awkward. And I wouldn't have blamed him if he really was. After all, our last 'encounter' was something I –too—was having difficulty wrapping my head around. But, Kai wasn't someone to get so worked up over something as trivial as a kiss. For all I knew, even though the realization hurt a bit, it was just a spur-of-the moment thing; his actions couldn't have meant much. Bitter truth. Though, I couldn't deny that they'd meant a _lot _to me.

But, Kai was a composed person. Clear-minded. And the carefully hidden anger in his eyes, the small clenching of his fists now and then, him staring off into space, leaning against the same damn wall the entire morning, too deep in thought to even look at me…No, something just wasn't right. And that something had happened when I'd been unconscious…because Kai had been perfectly fine—comparatively, at least—yesterday.

I had asked Tala if everything was alright, and he had tried to blame it on the fact that Kai had barely slept an hour in the fourteen hours that I'd been unconscious. And I myself knew that he'd been up long before even that….ever since his match with Tala. What was it, twenty-four hours now? Not only was it a gruesome match, and Tala had given everything that he had, but all the events that had occurred _afterwards _were just about enough to send someone into an array of uncontrolled fits. The entire day, he'd stayed put in my room with me, refusing to leave even for training—there was no need for him to neglect his duties as a team captain, really—without even a single hour of a nap _or _a single word of conversation. His usual 'Hn's would've sufficed…they'd have been _something_. I don't think he had met my eyes all day save in the hospital. To say that Kai was extremely upset about everything was an understatement.

But, honestly, I was glad that he had gone to sleep; I was finally alone. There were some things I needed to think of without being under all the protectiveness that Kai had been unconsciously offering me.

I had to tell everyone the truth. That was my top priority right then. Drew had done what he'd wanted to do and left me to deal with the consequences. There was no point in hiding anything from anyone anymore; he had screamed our relationship—whatever it was—by making that final move…everyone who did _not _know, now knew. So, what was I going to tell my friends besides the damn truth? _How _was I going to do it without breaking down? They'd be angry, Tyson hadn't exactly reacted in a way I could handle; they'd be downright furious if they found out everything….and Kai….what about him? He already knew the truth…half-the-truth, as our last conversation yesterday had revealed. How and when he'd found out, I didn't know, and it hardly mattered; he still had many a questions left. Questions that _I _would have to answer….The time of confrontations was arriving, and it scared me because I wasn't prepared.  
_  
__What's the worst that can happen?_ I questioned myself. But found that the answers were much less than assuring; Tyson would yell, Max and Ray would be disappointed, Kenny would be…Kenny, and try to stay out of it…Kai would…I wasn't even sure what Kai would do. All I knew was that I'd be helpless. My guilt would stop me from yelling right back at Tyson, it would stop me from meeting anyone else's eyes, it wouldn't be able to bear any unexpected outbursts.

I wasn't ready, I was sure of it.

And what about Drew? He would try to get to me, that much I was sure of. He was up to something. I'd been right in assuming that a long time ago. He was here, at the tournament, for a damn reason, and the reason was _not _me. Why else would he stay away from me for so long? Why else did it take an actual reason for him –that I'd known that he was cheating—to hurt me? By now, I had realized that he would do whatever it takes to win the tournament—fairly or not—and it disturbed me that I'd gone and thrown myself into the entire equation on my own, when –really— I wasn't supposed to be in it. Now that I'd had found out and had proof, that Drew was cheating, there was no way he was going to spare me. I was safe before…there had _been _no reason to worry before but now, thanks to me, there were many.

Unconsciously, my gaze landed on my small schoolbag that sat on the study-table across my bed, inside of which rested the very object of my thoughts. I had to be careful, Drew would want his beyblade back….What was I going to do if he did? I hated the idea of asking for help again…I hated that I was so vulnerable right now. And I hated Drew for dragging me into a position that required me to depend on so many people…But, really, if I was to tell the truth—and the guys were bound to ask how I'd met up with him anyways—then that blade was going to strike up into the conversation one way or the other.

And I had to be prepared.

_The truth….Just close your eyes and bite it all out._

But I wasn't prepared.

* * *

"So, what was up with you the other day?"

I asked the next day, speaking for the first time in the morning. My gaze landed from the pile of laundry on the bed, to Kai, who was currently in the midst of a series of pushups, right in the middle of my room. He had told me he was just warming up, but I knew he was just waiting for Tala to arrive before leaving for his training—after all, the BladeBreakers still had a match in less than two weeks—and he was uncomfortable leaving me alone. I knew nothing would happen in the short span that he left and Tala arrived, but if it made him feel better, I wasn't going to argue.

Kai grunted, but I wasn't sure if it was because of the strenuous exercise that he was doing, or if it was a response to my question. Heatedly, I grabbed a shirt off the bed, rolled it up and threw it in his direction. It landed on his face, blocking his sight and instantly, he rolled up on his back and, taking the shirt off his face, threw it right back at me. I managed to catch it before it hit my eye.

"What?" He snapped out irritably, propping himself on his elbows to glare up at me.  
"I asked you a question."

He scoffed.  
"So you finally decided to speak, huh?"

I glowered, throwing my shirt on the bed and looking away, irritated despite the well-deserved spite in his words. I had actually—childish and rather ironic as it may sound—been giving him the 'silent treatment' ever since he'd come back from training last night.

But really, I had my reasons.

"I did _not _appreciate you sending Mariah on me last night." I crossed my arms, staring at the pillow of my bed instead of him. He scoffed.  
"As I recall, you were mad at me _before _that." I heard him say pointedly, "You all but threw me out of your room before Mariah arrived two hours afterwards."

Again, I glowered, but this time, I directly looked at him.  
"I had my damn reasons!"

He merely cocked an eyebrow, as if I hadn't just yelled at him, but said a rather confusing remark in a normal, little voice. I didn't reply, and finally—looking concerned—he raised himself from the floor and came to stand in front of me.

"Really?" He questioned, "I'd like to know them, then."  
"You-" I started accusingly, before stopping myself, going back over in my mind and rephrasing my sentence, "hit him. You…went and picked a fight with him."

My teeth clenched at his shocked expression.  
"You _talked _to him!" I yelled as if talking were a curse, and he flinched at the loudness of my voice. "And you didn't _tell _me! You _moron_! What were you freaking thinking?!"

Had I the ability to stomp my feet or push Kai –like I would've done under normal circumstances—I'd have seriously committed the act a while ago. But right now, with a bandaged shoulder that ached every time I moved, and an injury to the head that would render me lightheaded if any sudden motions are made, I found that it wasn't wise to do so.

"I see Tala and you've been talking." He said with a nod; I noticed how he wasn't meeting my eyes. Yes, Tala had told me. Right when he was, as he had oh-so blatantly put it, 'babysitting' me while Kai had gone training. Somewhere between asking him why Kai had been acting strange and why he himself had gotten a weird expression on his face when I asked that, I'd managed to find out what Kai had done behind my back…and the entire consequences…and what Spencer had heard Drew tell him.

And I wasn't happy.  
"And I'm not happy." I mumbled, crossing my arms and lowering my voice at his slightly uneasy expression. "I'm angry and…"

_Hurt_, I completed the sentence in my mind, but found no need to voice it. My incomplete words hung in the air, making Kai's lips purse.

I breathed deeply, contemplating. Okay, so Kai –and Tala, and the Blitzkrieg Boys, and Mr. Dickenson and all my friends—knew the 'relationship' between me and Drew, but not the actual extent of its direness. Drew was staying; two more weeks in hiding. And there were _things _that he'd told Kai—things that _I _would have to answer to, things that were to remain strictly between me and him; the _bastard_!—like how I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about him, and how I had something of his…

I guess, if I were to be honest, each of these things was inevitable. Everyone was bound to find out someway, and what's another share of confrontations? It was better this way, I thought, it saved me of some unpleasantness. I was safer at the suite than I was at the hospital….Right now, though, none of it mattered. What Kai had done…his actions had consequences. It wasn't before, but now Kai had gone and _made _it personal. This was exactly what I had been afraid of. When Kai got angry, he let things slip out of control….I doubted Drew would hold back. Everything else was a part of the past, Kai's attack on Drew had consequences that were yet to come. And I couldn't bear the thought of any of my friends getting hurt…by Drew, of all people.

This was _exactly _what I had been afraid of. And it angered me that Kai had—what, in the act of helping me? Trying to help me?—dragged me _and _him into the entire situation.

"What were you _thinking_, Kai?" I muttered softly, looking away, afraid that my face would give away my hurt. I heard him sigh.  
"It doesn't matter. It happened, and it's over now. Let's just-"  
"It isn't over. And we both know that." I said firmly, stepping back when Kai reached out for me. "He's going to want payback for what you did-"  
"Hillary-"  
"—and I swear it to you, it won't be the greatest thing to witness!"

Kai merely blinked at me, looking down with a rather patronizing stare.  
"Is that what you're mad about?" He said, "That I put myself in danger? Hillary-" He almost smiled as if it were the most ridiculous thing to say, "That's stupid. He's not going to do anything."  
"You don't know that." I pointed out, "You don't know what he's like."

That made Kai halt whatever motion he was about to do, his lips parted as if to say something, before pursing together. I, too, froze in my spot, cursing inwardly at uttering something so ridiculously revealing-  
"What _is _he like?" Kai said, flexing his fist, looking direly angry now. That kind of irritated me, and I looked up again.  
"He wants revenge for everything." I tried to keep a straight face when I spoke, "He wants everything to work his own way, or he really doesn't hesitate in hurting _anyone_."

His eyes narrowed, and I could tell that, again, I'd said just the wrong words. A series of curses passed my mind again, but I just stared at Kai as he closed his eyes, breathed, and opened them again.

"Nothing will happen to me." He muttered in a calmer tone than I'd expected, inching closer, "Or you. Or anyone else. I promise you."  
"You can't guarantee that."

His eyes narrowed at me words, before –exasperated at my childishly scared behavior—he let out a sigh.  
"Is that all?" He sounded kind of irritated. "I'm sorry I put myself in danger. I'll take care starting now, okay?" He clearly wasn't taking my words seriously; I pursed my lips, when he paused for my response. "Is there something else that you want to say to me?"  
"Yes."

He waited, but I didn't respond. His eyebrow raised in question at my hesitation, and I found myself looking away. There had been a reason to Kai's silence yesterday…  
"I need to know everything that he said to you." I finally muttered, still not meeting his gaze. I wondered what his expression was right then, but didn't dare look up to see. His feet shifted on the ground, I heard him breathe deeply again and just when he was about to say something, the door to my room slammed open.

"Sorry I'm late." Tala stood there, hands on the doorknob as he hesitated at the door, watching the two of us carefully. It was only then did I notice how close we were standing, and gingerly, I turned myself completely towards the bed, turning my back on the redhead and hiding my blush from both of the boys in the room. There was a slight shuffle coming from Kai as he turned around too, his back towards me.

"Me too." He responded to my earlier sentence, "I think it's about time everything is out in the open air."

_We're talking about this later. _

Something in the authoritative tone of his voice told me that the conversation would tilt towards a rather unpleasant avenue, and I gulped unceremoniously. A few seconds later, Kai was out of the door without a word, slamming the door rather loudly behind him. Footsteps neared me and I blinked myself into focus, bending down to pick up a long rectangular box from underneath the bed.

Scrabble time.

* * *

**AN: Aaahhh! Haven't posted in a while. Feels VERY strange! O_O Good strange, though :)**

**Found this in my drafts :P Thought I'd publish it. To KHL, as per usual, because I wuv her and I wanted to do something nish ^_^**

**And, I'm shick.**

**Anyways, hope you guys liked it. You BETTER, cuz I know it cost me a LOT to get this done. Had it done last year, actually, but I was so insecure regarding this fic that, according to KaiHillover, I hated this chapter and didn't post it.**

**Thought I'd get it out of the way :)**

**Aside from that, finals nearing soon, and then I'll be back to writing for a dead fandom -_- Everyone is gone. It's, like, sooo weird. Really. Reminiscing the older times! T_T**

**Anywhoo, I'd appreciate a review if anyone's still following this :) Pleashe pleash pleash? Just a small sentence, even.**

**Signing off. Love ya all :P**


	17. To be on the edge of breaking down

**Chapter 17: To be on the edge of breaking down**

"He said you weren't supposed to tell us. He said that's why he made you pay."

Kai, his expression a weird mask of indifferent, surprised me with the utter blatancy of his words—his first words as he entered the room much later in the evening, hair dripping with water as if he'd just stepped out of a shower. Tala had left soon as he'd heard everyone arrive, clearly bored with my inattentive and distracted presence all afternoon, and right now, it was only me and Kai and a dreadful confrontation that I've been fearing having all along.

Something that just _has _to get out of the way already. No point delaying.

"He said you deserved what you got." Kai continued with apathy and I could only watch him in silence from my seat on the bed. "He told me what he did. Said he slammed you up against the wall and then he tried to mess you up."

His words seemed robotic, repetitive and it was that tone—and the actual words that I was hearing—that made me cringe. Leaning against the door frame, half way across the room, with hands crossed in his usual pose, Kai didn't even look in my direction before continuing.

"He told me to remind you that you have a thing of his that needs returning." I clutched the sheets out of sheer nervousness, and he finally looked up before ending his part of the deal with a, "And that's all there is to it."

I looked away, down at my lap, out of sheer embarrassment. Breathing in deeply, I wondered to myself how I was going to keep hold of myself all through this conversation—and one more, with the others—if it meant highlighting my uselessness, or pain, or helplessness or whatever, over and over and over again. It was freaking embarrassing.

I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off. Maybe I was just so Goddamn readable to him, but Kai, apparently, was pretty much aware of exactly what I was going to say.  
"He was asking for it." His eyes were wild with a rage, the reasons of which were completely unknown to me. "He was asking to be fought with. And don't you dare say, after all that he's said and done to you, that he didn't deserve every bit of the pain that he got."

I remained silent. He was obviously right. Drew deserved everything he might have gotten, but that didn't mean that—by going on and picking a fight with him—had made the situation any less stickier than it actually had been.

Well, what was done was done, I guess. My mind, in the entire last few days, had completely recovered from the shock and abruptness of the entire situation. There was no point dwelling on what had happened, and how deep in I—and everyone else now that they'd gotten involved—were in this situation. Now that I was slightly calmer than I had been in the past few days, much better physically even—at least enough to walk properly without people watching my steps—I was slightly more hopeful, for some strange reason, too. Despite the direness of it all, we were still larger in number stacked against Drew. He was physically beat after Kai was done with him, so there wasn't much harm he could cause anyone. I was, in no way, nearing him again. Even if I wanted to, it would be hard because someone was with me at all times.

The situation didn't seem as hopeless as it did to me a few days back, and given that, I had the sense to remain calm and silent and not burst out into an array of emotions so much that I had been the past few days.

I felt….protected. And I knew who I had to owe for that.

It didn't seem right to yell and make a scene of this situation, because not only did Kai not deserve it, but I guess he had more than proper justifications for it all. Right now, it was best to just exclude who did what, and why, and focus on bettering the mess.

And arguing with Kai at the severe intensity he seemed to be ready to, and with the vigor that I had this morning, wouldn't solve anything.

"I get why you did it." I finally spoke, my voice quiet. "The only reason I reacted the way I did this morning was, well, I just really didn't want you to get involved."

I could see that I'd said the very wrong thing, for his eyes sparked with a fight when I was finished and before I could even think of rephrasing my sentence, he was already retorting.

"I hate it when you do this!" He exclaimed, pushing himself off the door frame, as if out of fury, and moved to stand in the middle of the room. His voice was a tone of slight irritation more than anger, though, when he continued, "Why can't you forget about everyone else for a Goddamn second, and _think for your own self_!"

My eyes narrowed at the display, but I took a deep breath and stayed put in my place on the bed. He continued, unseeing my efforts and taking them to be encouraging instead. "Your life would be so much simpler, you wouldn't even be _in _this mess if it weren't for the fact that all you ever do in a situation, in _any _situation, is put others before your own self!"

True as that fact was, why was he saying it again?

I just stared at him, surprised and his voice lowered at my expression. "Stop trying to protect everyone else, Hils. Your mother, the guys or me—I know he's been threatening you." He hesitated to take note of my expression. I wondered what he saw there, because I wasn't even sure myself what I was reflecting. Neither did I care.

He continued no matter. "And I know the weapons he's been using. Look where worrying about everyone else has gotten you! Look at how he's had you under his control from the very start, using _us_!"

It slightly tinged, his words. Despite the fact that I was well aware of them. Of course my friends and family were my weaknesses. And he knew it. Why wouldn't he use it against me?But—

"My mother's messed up." I spoke for the second time, voice a lot calmer than I expected it to be, and gaze holding directly with his. "She's divorced. She's…not in a right state to protect herself. And I couldn't risk—"

"Your mother wouldn't have approved of that decision." He retorted and I almost scoffed. _Right_, I thought to myself. _If she still cared that is._ Kai saw the expression in my face and I recalled the conversation we had about my mother that night in the Dojo. If he knows what the situation's like, why does he keep bringing up all my should've-been's anyways? Hillary, you shouldn't have done this. You should've done that. You should've said this. You should've acted out.

"Whatever, man." I muttered, not wanting to explain myself. "What's done is done. Let's just focus on the task at hand, can we?"

Even to myself, I sounded annoyed. But Kai wasn't hearing it. Oh no, his face went rigid at my tone and he firmly stated, "No." He continued when I looked up, "We're not moving forward, or going anywhere, till you acknowledge the fact that you have to stop trying to protect everyone else and do what's best for _you_."

And then I was pissed. Getting up off the bed, and forgetting all rational thoughts of staying calm and steady through this conversation, I challenged, "And what would _you_ have done, Mr. Picture Perfect? In my place, with threats of your only family member getting hurt, and of your _own _experiences of actually _getting _hurt—" I saw him cringe, eyes unconsciously falling at my wrists, "—what would _you _have done, huh?"

"Told someone!"  
"Exactly what I was threatened _not _to do!"  
"We could've helped!"  
"You could've delayed it, that's it." I lowered my voice. "Look what he did when he found out I told someone—and I didn't even tell anybody!"

Kai cursed vehemently at my answer. "Then what did you plan to do, huh? Tell no-one? Endure in silence? Let him control you like that forever?" He scoffed. "Stupid! Did you plan on getting any help at all?"

I had no answer for that. So, gingerly, I looked away. Did I? Plan to get any help at all, that is. I hadn't thought that far, actually, so I didn't know. All I knew was that I had to steer clear of boiling his wrath up—and telling someone would do exactly that—by much incase he actually went out of his way to hurt the people I love. Or even me, I didn't want his anger to be raised up a few notches for the next time I came across his sorry presence.

"You were just skittering around him out of fear of people getting hurt." I heard Kai speak, his voice dull over my thoughts. "You weren't doing anything, nor did you plan to. You were just enduring in silence, letting him have his way with you, behind the stupid illusion that he created that you were protecting everyone else."

I bit my lips out of bitter resentment. Did he have to point my flaws out like that all throughout? As if I wasn't embarrassed about the situation enough already. As if I wasn't aware….

"There was nothing else that I could've done, Kai." I raised my head to look at him. "There's no point dwelling over what might have happened and didn't. Can we please just leave it at that?"

Maybe it was my words, or he must've noticed the slight tears that were prickling my vision; either way, he gave a little sigh and went silent. None of us said anything for a while, just stood there in the middle of the room with me staring down at my feet, trying to hold myself together. And him doing only Godknowswhat because I wasn't looking at him.

It took longer than I thought it would to compose myself. I went over the conversation again and again in my head, recalling what Kai had said Drew had told him. Everything, I thought bitterly. And that was good. It had, just as I'd thought, saved me from many unpleasantness. What I don't get is-

"How long have you known, Kai?" I muttered, meeting his gaze but barely. Was I really _that_ revealing or was he simply much cunning than I give him credit for?

He seemed to be contemplating, on exactly what I meant by the question, before saying, "About you and him?" I nodded, and he continued, "A while. The day of the rain, back in Bakuten. You left your phone out and I looked through it before returning it to you."

So blatantly straight forward he was, it'd be amusing had he not been so serious. I sighed unceremoniously. Now it all made sense. Reflecting further more, I realized that—if he'd known from the very beginning, then—all this time, he'd just been pretending _not _to know? That all the times he would come rushing at nights, and ask if I was okay and if I wanted to tell him what was going on, he already _knew? _

I shifted on my feet at the newfound apprehension in mind, and stared directly at Kai, beguiled.

All this time, that he's been asking me about it….his apprehensions during our flight from Bakuten…his unconditional care afterwards, particularly when he had more important things at hand…his secret battle with Drew, when he had asked me why Drew had thrown me into the conversation…his telling Tala (yeah, _he_'_d _been the one to tell Tala, I'd found out from the redhead himself) to keep an eye on me when he couldn't…all this time that he'd been continuously probing and poking at the surface, and I wouldn't let him in…he's known all along….

Drew had been right when he said that Kai knew.

"Why would you keep asking me to tell you, if you knew all along?" I couldn't help but voice out, and saw him shrug. I could've cared about a lot of things. The fact that Kai knew, lead to Drew getting so Goddamn mad to cause such an extent of damage in the first place. The fact that Kai'd been plotting against Drew about me, behind my back. The fact that Kai told Tala, and Mr. Dickenson and the rest of the Blitzkrieg Boys. The fact that he had invaded my privacy, or whatever it was, to go against Drew…a lot of things could be pointed out, but really….did it matter? Every one of those steps were taken just to keep me out of harm. Just to ensure I was safe. Kai had best of intentions at heart. And, right then, as I voiced my last question, that was all that mattered to me.

"I don't know." He muttered, looking away as if he was nervous—how ridiculous a thought! "I wanted you to tell me on your own terms, I guess. I wanted you to know that you always had me to turn to…"

I couldn't help the small smile that crept up my face. And I couldn't help but admire Kai more than I already did. And I really couldn't help but fall a little more in love with him than I already was.

"Thanks. For everything that you did." He looked a little embarrassed at my gratefulness, "I know I haven't been easy. Thank you."

He merely nodded, looking back down. It was a new sight, a bit weird, the slight tinge of red that tinted his skin; it made my smile widen, and a blush of my own crept up to my face in response to his. Unconsciously, the small kiss from a few days back crept to my mind and made me redden even more.

_Push it back. Push it back_, I tried suppressing the memory but—was it just me or did Kai smell _really _good? And what was up with the dripping-wet hair? God, it was getting really hot in here—

Oh, what the hell!  
"You look really nice when you smile, you know that?" I heard myself say, internally horrified at the pathetic attempts at flirting. This was so not the time! I didn't even care.  
"Really, now?" Kai merely raised his eyebrow at me, all traces of embarrassment gone and replaced with amusement.

He inched closer and I recalled the last time he'd been this up close without me having an utter breakdown of one sort or the other…the day I'd come in from the rain, back at the Dojo, before the entire mess had become so complicated. I remembered Kai sitting too close to me…so close that I could feel his breath. So close that I could touch the fabric of his shirt…so close that I could see a little dimple on his jaw when he smiled, and wondered…was it to the left, or right?

I couldn't recall.

"Yes." I answered sheepishly, boldly inching close enough to dangle an arm on one of his shoulders. His eyes widened at the gesture, surprised my peculiar and completely random…confession. Though, that didn't stop him from grabbing my waist and pulling me closer. There was a small, genuine smile on his face. A slight look of childish mischief in his eyes as he touched our foreheads together and it was then that I noticed…

"You get a dimple on the _left_ side of your jaw when you smile." I said more to myself, than to him. I wasn't giving a second thought to whatever it was that kept slipping passed my mouth. And from the laugh that followed, I inferred that Kai knew it.

"I know." His hair was still wet, albeit not dripping now, I noticed, "But please don't say that in front of everyone else."

It was my turn to laugh.

"Oh, yeah! I forgot." I teased, remembering yet another incident, involving milk and the likes, "The great Hiwatari has a pride to protect."  
"No." He almost snapped, "People would think you're flirting with me. That's all."

My smile widened into a smirk, and rolling my eyes, I raised myself upto his level. It didn't take much effort, considering I was only a few inches shorter—two, last time I checked. His gaze remained steadfast, following my movement along with. We were almost on eye level, my arms around his neck and his around my waist, in immature and rather mutual attempts at teasing, when I spoke next.

"So, what if I _am_?" He raised a brow. "Flirting. So what if I am?"  
"My fangirls would kill you."

I laughed at the tedious tone of his voice.

"Too true." I trailed off, smiling and continued to stare at him, almost mockingly. It felt like a competition, because neither of us was looking away, but it really wasn't. His expression was soft, mine, amused. I was only staring because I really didn't want to turn away….

"Ironic, though." He finally muttered after a while of looking at me, "Now _I'm_ thinking about how nice a smile looks on you."  
"Careful, Hiwatari. It sounds as if you're flirting with me."

"Well, maybe I am." He whispered, cockily raising an eyebrow. I leaned back, intimidated, trying hard to come up with a witty retort, but failing miserably. I gulped when he inched closer, gingerly raising one hand of to the back of my head, running over the bandages carefully before settling for an uncovered part, just around my nape. My arms reflexively pulled themselves away from his neck, to rest in between his, pushing him away a bit in attempts to maintain a bit space.

He was intimidating me.

Kai didn't seem to like what I did, and unceremoniously, he pushed at my waist again. I had already leaned back so far that there was no capacity to do any more. I wanted to tell him to move, but I think I lost my voice at that moment. He was _way _too close for comfort.

"Your fangirls will kill me." I finally muttered, barely moving my lips. His breath tickled my skin when he laughed, and the motion made him lean back a bit. In the small time gap, I pressed both my palms to his chest—momentarily unsettling my balance— in attempts at pushing him away.

"Get off me, you jerk!" I gasped, and Kai moved back to glare at me, his hands still gripping my waist tightly. I would have said something, I was about to, but I guess Kai saw it all in my face. Instantly, at the nervous and slightly uncomfortable expression that I knew would be on my features, he pulled back, his grip around me loosening—but not letting go—and I breathed an involuntary sigh of relief.

I saw worry in his face, accompanied by guilt, and I had to look away. It wasn't his fault I didn't like anyone to be forceful with me, no matter the genuine reasons, but my pride kept me from admitting it out loud to make him feel better. Some damn after effects of almost—I shuddered. They would get better with time, I hoped.

Slowly, as I freed myself out of Kai's grasp—and he hesitatingly let go— I heard him say in a slightly dull tone, as if more to himself than to me. "It's over now."

_Not completely, _but I nodded anyways, more unconsciously than anything else. And then I wondered to myself, even if it _completely _was over, everything that has happened up till now will take a _lot _getting over with.

* * *

And it was nights that I was the most vulnerable. Because it was when I was alone to my thoughts and in the dark, where no-one could see my carefully hidden expression. Today's encounter with Kai –albeit the fact that it was nothing that needed much pondering or discourse over—had triggered something in me. The need to protect myself, the unconscious push at everyone that tried to get a little bit close against my permission….There was no need for that instinct to resurface again in the past few days, because not only had I been provided with unconditional protection ever since I had waken up in that hospital bed, but I was treated gently with. Vulnerable as that might make me sound, no-one had been forceful—physically at least—with me at all. And even verbally, everyone keeps saying that they want me to tell but no-one was _forcing _me to.

So, naturally, I had no reason to feel triggered. But the smallest run in with Kai, in which he was a _little _bit physical—and in a way that would have thrilled me otherwise—I had shunned away. That little mishap had me on the edge, had triggered in me the reflex to hold steady and to push anyone that came close. It had me on the brink of utter restlessness. My reflexes were hay wiring, my brain was as if on the lookout for something to go terribly wrong all over again.

And that night, when the lights went off and I was under the covers, waiting for Mariah to come through the door already—she never did—I found myself awake for a long time, adrenaline pumping in my veins as if my body was preparing itself for a sudden attack—it probably was. And I wasn't surprised that, when I did sleep, I woke up almost instantly to muffled cries and half-held-back screams.

By the time I realized that they were my own, I was distracted by another yelp that escaped my throat when I saw the faintly familiar and vaguely recognizable silhouette standing far too close for comfort, dangerously near my bed.

Unwillingly, out of fear or helplessness, I tore up.

* * *

**Author's note:**

This was...well, whateve. Lol. This is moving at an awfully slow rate, I feel as if I'm dragging it. But I'm going with the flow, I guess. And I negated the Goddamn eight documents of scenes written down already and wrote this chapter from scratch. It's going to be a loooonnnnggg fic. I don't really mind that, I guess.

Halfway through the next chapter. Does anyone have any suggestions? Drop a review and let me know! Toodles :P


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